Inference and Incense

During postpartum recovery, Lucy binged K-dramas for months. Netflix kept serving them, long afterwards, —comfort show after comfort show. It felt like the platform understood her emotional state. But here's the truth: Netflix doesn't care how you feel. It only tracks what you do. The algorithm inferred emotional vulnerability from watch patterns and optimized for retention. "User sta...

It starts innocent : a data visualization video for work. Then autoplay kicks in. Next thing you know, you're 10 minutes deep into "the decline of Western aesthetics" and dangerously close to an aesthetic nationalism rabbit hole—and you were interested the whole time. In this clip, we break down how algorithms don't just recommend content—they escalate it , testing your boundarie...

When did desire turn into data? In this episode, we dive into what dating feels like when attraction becomes analytics. Profiles, filters, compatibility scores, swipe rates — modern romance now comes with dashboards. You don’t just meet someone. You match at 92%. We start with Lucy’s real-life origin story — yes, she met her husband on an app — and unpack the difference between Profile You and Emb...

When did your love life turn into analytics? In this mini, we hit reset. Because somewhere between match rates, response times, and “seen at 9:42 PM,” it’s easy to start treating dating apps like a performance dashboard — and yourself like the product being reviewed. We share 4 rules for staying human on apps : Know which version of you you’re presenting. Stop spiraling stories about what a delaye...

If dating apps were truly designed to help you fall in love… why are they worth $9 billion? In this mini, we unpack the uncomfortable business model behind modern romance. Dating apps run on a brutal paradox: if you actually find love, you leave. But if you almost find love — if it’s just one more swipe away — you stay. And staying is profitable. We talk about how platforms engineer maximum hope +...

Have you ever optimized your bio like it’s a LinkedIn headline… and called it flirting? In this mini, we talk about what happens when you turn yourself into a product. Dating apps don’t meet you — they meet Profile You : curated, keyword-friendly, emotionally marketable. “Hikes. Humor. Growth.” Clean lighting. Strategic vulnerability. Zero weirdness. But love doesn’t happen in bullet points. It ha...

When did dating turn into a dashboard? In this mini episode, we talk about what happens when romance becomes optimization . You tweak your photos. You track your “hit rate.” You filter for height, income, education, hobbies — like you’re configuring a software build. And somehow, the more efficient it gets, the emptier it feels. We unpack hyper-selection, the illusion of “compatibility on paper,”...

More choices = more freedom… right? Then why does it feel like we’re standing in the cereal aisle of existence having a mild identity crisis? In this episode, we unpack the paradox of abundance — why having endless options (jobs, partners, cities, spiritual paths, oat milks…) somehow leaves us more anxious, more frozen, and more convinced we picked wrong. We talk about the neuroscience of choice o...

What if the reason you feel anxious isn’t you — it’s the era? In this mini episode, we break down “liquid modernity” — the idea that everything solid has melted. Jobs, identities, relationships, even belief systems are now endlessly editable. You can rebrand your entire personality before lunch. Sounds empowering… until there’s no stable ground left. When everything is vibes, nothing holds shape....

When was the last time you were actually alone? Not alone with your phone. Not alone with a podcast. Alone alone. In this short, we talk about the truth no one admits: no one rides the elevator alone anymore. Our minds are crowded — with commentary, rehearsed arguments, future disasters, imaginary conversations we’ll never have. We explore what it means to be constantly occupied by our own thought...

Ever walked into a buffet with 200 options… and somehow left unsatisfied? In this mini riff, we unpack why more choice doesn’t feel like freedom — it feels like pressure. When everything is possible, nothing feels right. Your brain doesn’t just pick — it compares, second-guesses, and quietly grieves the 47 other things you didn’t choose. We talk about decision paralysis, the illusion of “keeping o...

What if the moment we’re afraid of isn’t some dramatic AI takeover—but the quiet day we realize we don’t know how to do things ourselves anymore? In this episode, we stop talking about “ the future of AI ” and start talking about us . The everyday handoffs we keep making—letting systems decide, recommend, optimize—until responsibility gets blurry and no one’s quite accountable when things go wrong...

What happens when the smartest thing in the room has no conscience—and we let it run anyway? In the Season 2 opening episode of Inference & Incense , we step straight into the shadow side of AI: deepfakes that empty bank accounts, algorithms that quietly scale bias, and systems that optimize engagement while eroding trust, dignity, and democracy. We unpack why “the algorithm decided” is the mo...

At what point does “learning everything” stop helping? In this Season 1 finale, we zoom out to look at a strange truth: humans have always been obsessed with understanding reality—we’ve just kept upgrading the tools. From oral prophecy and ancient divination systems to modern AI and black-box algorithms, we keep asking the same questions with shinier interfaces. Season 1 ends where it began: curio...

Is AI a path to enlightenment… or the start of a very weird religion? In this episode of Inference & Incense , we spiral into one of the questions we probably shouldn’t ask at the end of a workday: whether AI is pushing us closer to enlightenment. We talk about what “enlightenment” even means, why knowledge doesn’t always equal freedom, and whether asking better questions matters more than get...

Our guest: Eric Nazarian , an accomplished Armenian-American filmmaker and the winner of The Academy Nicholl Fellowships in Screenwriting in 2008 for his original screenplay "Giants". Why do we overthink 'the moment' and underthink 'the aftermath' ? In this episode of Inference & Incense , we take a hard (and amused) look at the way we inflate certain choices into lif...

What if growth isn’t about trying harder? In this episode of Inference & Incense , we talk about letting go—not in the dramatic, burn-your-life-down way, but in the quieter, messier way that actually creates room to grow. We share stories from our lives as Asian immigrants and women in tech. Along the way, we unpack why letting go feels so hard (ego, fear, sunk costs, cultural conditioning), h...

What if your gut has opinions… but not all of them deserve a vote? We’ve all been told to “trust your gut,” but no one tells you what to do when your gut is traumatized, overprotective, or running on outdated data. In this episode of Inference & Incense , we explore the blurry line between intuition and survival instinct—why some gut reactions are sharp and wise, and others are just your nervo...

Our guest: Daryl Wein , an American filmmaker. His most recent movies is Something from Tiffany’s (2022). The movie hilariously proves that the quickest way to find your soulmate is a jewelry bag mix-up. If an AI makes a great movie, who do you thank—the director, the data, or the algorithm? In this episode of Inference & Incense , we get into the weird, messy middle of AI and cinema: who’s ac...

What if your biggest failure wasn’t a mistake—but a message you ignored the first few times? In this episode of Inference & Incense , we talk about failure not as collapse, but as interruption—the kind that shows up when you’ve optimized your life a little too well. We share personal stories of crashing while doing everything “right,” overfitting ambition to the wrong model, and realizing—usua...

Have you ever felt like a fraud even when you're actually crushing it? In this episode of Inference & Incense , we talk about imposter syndrome the way it actually shows up—mid-career, mid-meeting, mid-scroll on LinkedIn. We unpack why AI makes some people wildly overconfident and others quietly spiral, how comparison gets weird when everyone’s part-human, part-machine, and why feeling lik...

What if starting from zero isn’t failure—but the whole point? In this pilot episode of Inference & Incense , Lucy and Jen unpack The Fool —tarot’s card zero and the patron saint of beginners, false starts, and “I have no idea what I’m doing but I’m going anyway.” We talk about what it actually feels like to step into the unknown —whether you’re learning a new AI tool, changing careers, or flir...