Imagined Paris Podcast

WARNING: contains one forbidden 'F' word. "Three days until I’m with you again, Paris." "I want to talk to you about waves. Not only the ones that came and went rocking the boat my friends let me use on the Thames for a few days last week, and test, or rather train, my balance, which I got used to rather fast. I want to talk to you about the other waves too, and how at times I am soothed by them l...

"Coucou, Paris – I’m at home!" "For the not so very first time, this Libra is going to decide and take actions before thinking instead of weighing all options for eternity minus a day. I’m done thinking, I’m done being on the fence and I’m done being slapped by the universe for resisting what resonates with my heart in the name of anything. Time to come home to myself, in the place where I feel mo...

"I’m not home, Paris. Or at least that’s how I feel. I accepted some time ago that love is my dining table and it could be anywhere. I guess I’m mostly ridden by guilt and fear instead of love at the moment and so I feel rather homeless." "I feel like I’m not doing anything. And if writing is the only craft I know, or so I keep bragging, I know I’m not doing my craft well, if at all. Rain has been...

"I’m supposed to write, I say. I’m supposed to say something, Paris." "I’m being quiet, or trying to be. I’ve been trying to separate anger, and frustration, from pain and I’m prepared to surrender. No more theories, however impractical my mind could be. No more worries, hopefully. What about nightmares and memories – how to deal with them gracefully? I said no more theories – sorry." (Read the fu...

"I feel like I’m fading, Paris. So much to do. I don’t want to do. And I miss you. A little. Too much. Too." "It’s like that. But it’s not that. Is this the price? You pay. For not choosing. To walk. In a previous scenario. Where the weather was rough. The road was dark. But the distance was short. Potentially short. And you said yes. To a fast drive. That took you. To this transit. In the first p...

"Here – I’m here with you, Paris. A bit sleepy today and almost bailed out of writing the memoir after the 70s dance party at La Coupole last night, but no hangover – I drank cleanly: champagne only. I’ve been in you for a week already, this time. I had to fly to Edinburgh for work the other day – a last-minute assignment as usual, but I flew straight back to you the next day." "Here, my life in L...

"Pressure’s off, Paris. There has never been any. Pressure’s off. To be there with you fully or to be here in London mostly – I travel around a lot anyway. Pressure’s off because I can do whatever I want – always have been able to – anyway, not because I always have the resources before I make a decision, but because I am brave enough to take the risks, every single time, and I will only be brave...

"I’m okay, Paris. I feel a bit groggy, yes, from having slept about 3.5 hours every day for the last three days, because there aren’t enough hours in a day to get things done recently, or that’s how I’d like to put it anyway – ce n’est pas ma faute , tu vois ? (I know how much you adore it when I speak French in my silly accent) but I’m okay: for the first time in a while, I’m okay about being awa...

"I have nothing to say to you. Nothing so personal, anyway. In case you can’t stomach it. In case I can’t stomach it..." "...Do you even want to be with me knowing how unlight I can be, or am I only this heavy because I’m not there with you, fully? Either way, how can I even breathe regularly knowing that my lung and my heart belong to your bohemian air?" (Read the full text on imaginedparis.com )

"I don’t miss you, Paris. London’s quite alright – we have similar weather some days." "Well, I can dream when I’m here, about anything; I just close my eyes, regulate my breathing, sometimes put on some non-jazz music, and see what I want to achieve and I know I’ll achieve it, like all the things I’ve achieved without you since I left you in 2019 – l can at least try again." (Read the full text o...