How To! with Mike Pesca

When Betsy joined her last workplace, she thought it was a perfect fit. It was on a list of Best Places to Work and she got to be creative while helping people. But as the startup rapidly grew, the company culture changed and Betsy started to lose herself amid the stress. Then she got laid off. Honestly, Betsy was relieved, but now she's gotta figure out what's next. On this episode of How To!, we...

Tyler holds himself to high expectations, placing a deep value on self-sufficiency and the social contract. But as a science teacher and dad to a blended family, he gets incredibly frustrated when others do not hold themselves to those same standards. On this episode of How To!, Mike brings on psychologist Dr. Ryan Martin, known as the Anger Professor, to talk through the realities of male anger a...

To move or not to move? That is the question for Tiffani. She is desperate to get out of her hometown in rural Oregon and find a place with affordable housing, better dating prospects, and a ballroom dance studio nearby… or at least a P.F. Chang's closer than a four hour drive away. The problem? Her preferred destination would mean moving clear across the country. On this episode of How To!, decis...

Brett has spent her career in foreign policy — shaping strategy, advising governments, moving pieces on a board whose outcomes she may never live to fully see. It's meaningful work. It just never feels finished . So she's started thinking about a different kind of problem: the kind with a beginning, a middle, and an answer. Oh, also, and these mysteries keep presenting themselves in her workplace,...

Living with a cat often feels like a game of high-stakes interpretation, especially when an 18-pound Maine Coon is performing a 4:30 AM tap dance on your head. Today on How To!, Mike Pesca is joined by cat owner Steve, who shares the reality of navigating the vocal demands of his feline companions, Mr. Bad and Vincent Then, cat behavior consultant Dr. Mikel Delgado steps in to debunk the "alpha" d...

Relying on filler words like "um," "like," and "you know" is a universal habit that clutters our speech and betrays our nerves, but simply willing yourself to stop only makes the problem worse. Today on How To!, Mike Pesca is joined by renowned data journalist and author Nate Silver, who bravely steps up as the guinea pig to have his own fast-talking, filler-heavy conversational style diagnosed in...

Getting older brings new vulnerabilities, especially when navigating the sophisticated, ever-evolving world of financial scams targeting seniors. Today on How To! , Mike Pesca is joined by journalist Nancy Rommelmann, who shares the harrowing personal reality of watching her mother fall prey to predatory phone calls and a corrupt accountant. Then, AARP's Senior Director of Fraud Victim Support, Am...

Stand-up comedian and philosopher Myq Kaplan has built a successful career exploring the human condition, but navigating his own underlying anxiety presents a very different challenge. He knows how to handle recreational and spiritual psychedelic trips in the jungles of Peru, but the leap to "crossing the streams" and using these substances in a formal, clinical therapeutic setting feels uncertain...

Mike Pesca has built a long career as a news analyst and podcaster, but taking over the How To! franchise presents a very different challenge: learning the ropes of the advice show genre. He knows how to dissect complex political events, but the leap to solving eccentric listener dilemmas while maximizing entertainment value feels new. On this episode: How To! 's Mike Pesca turns the microphone on...

Enid Baxter Ryce has built a fascinating career as an artist and university professor, but her unique living situation presents a very different challenge: navigating life on a massive, decommissioned, and potentially haunted military base. She knows how to uncover the historical art left behind in the empty barracks, but the leap to understanding and confronting the supernatural entities that mig...

Dan Savage has built a legendary career giving sex and relationship advice, but as the U.S. political climate shifts, he's yearning to chase a very different dream: relocating his polyamorous family to Europe. He knows how to navigate complex relationship dynamics, but the leap to untangling international immigration law feels intimidating and technically out of reach. On this episode: How To! wit...

Stewart has built a respectable career as a lawyer in Montreal, but he's yearning to chase a very different dream: becoming a club DJ. He knows how to curate a killer playlist, but the leap to commanding a live room feels intimidating and technically out of reach. On this episode: How To!'s Mike Pesca brings on Tom Nash, a former top Sydney club DJ (known as DJ Hookie) who spins using prosthetic h...

How To! has a new host - veteran journalist and podcaster Mike Pesca, host of The Gist, Not Even Mad, and Funny You Should Mention podcasts. It's the same great Ambie Award nominated show, covering new topics, with new experts, and Mike's signature humor. You've got questions. We find answers. We all need advice, but it's not always clear who to ask. Each week, Mike Pesca invites a listener on the...

You've probably heard about the importance of journaling, putting thoughts on paper to help process the daily vicissitudes of life. But it's easy to stall once you see a blank page or get self conscious about what exactly you're writing. On this episode of How To!, we bring together Anna Quindlen , bestselling novelist and author of the new book Write For Your Life , and John Dickerson , co-host o...

Dating is always tough, but during a pandemic it can feel downright impossible. "I'm incredibly lonely, and it's impossible to meet anybody my age right now," our listener Sarah said. Feeling isolated, Sarah has clung to a friends-with-benefit situation with Matthew, her friend and dance partner. But at 36, Sarah knows the relationship isn't meant to last. On this episode of How To!, we bring on L...

Joe Loya robbed over 30 banks during an 18-month span before going to jail. In this episode of How To! Charles wants to rob one bank on a Saturday afternoon, and get away scot-free. Can Joe teach Charles the tricks of the trade? Or will he shatter his dreams, and a few stereotypes along the way? Also, is it a good idea to carry a microphone while attempting a robbery?

Avalon is driven, creative, and… can't meet a deadline to save her life. In her defense, she's a card-carrying member of the gig economy, juggling a complicated schedule as a DJ and visual artist . Avalon's tried to organize her life using a bullet journal, but procrastination keeps getting in the way of her career pursuits. On this episode of How To!, the second in a two-part series on time manag...

Victor's job—at its core—is to change the world. But he feels like he's plateaued within his large humanitarian and development organization, and is now on the verge of jumping ship. On this episode of How To!, Annie Duke , author of Quit: The Power Of Knowing When to Walk Away , helps Victor decide if he should recommit to his current job or move on to something else. She explains the cognitive b...

The trouble began when Sarah put a fern in front of her new condo. Nice, right? The woman who lives in the unit above didn't think so, and without warning sent Sarah a slew of passive-aggressive notes. Sarah thinks it's all a big misunderstanding, but now her neighbor refuses to even speak to her. Sarah is wracked with anxiety, struggling to sleep, and contemplating moving out. On this episode of...

In 2025, our listeners contacted How To! for advice about outsmarting student loans , moving to a new city , hosting a low-key gathering , living with chronic pain , quitting a dream job , letting go of ADHD shame , and yes, losing your virginity in your 40s . Today on the show: Carvell Wallace and Courtney Martin get updates from some of those advice-seekers—and they check in with Jeff, whose fam...

Tired of being the project manager for date night? On this bonus episode of How To!, Jackie Kelley explains how to make logistics equitable and easy—so your partner can help. Plus: a tip for quickly finding restaurants when date night is spontaneous. Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show...

Cohabitation can be bliss—except when it comes to your partner's incompatible approach to household tasks. Bonnie likes things clean, organized, and prompt. Vince, on the other hand, is a classic procrastinator. On this episode of How To!, Carvell Wallace brings on self-described " human glitterbomb " Jackie Kelley to offer up some practical "marriage rules" designed to improve everyday communicat...

In this bonus episode, Dr. Ingrid Clayton discusses another aspect of everyday life where fawning can show up and take over: sex. Ingrid tells How To!'s Courtney Martin about the ways we lose ourselves during sex—and how we can reconnect with our needs. How To!'s Quick Fix is produced by Rosemary Belson and Sophie Summergrad. Our technical director is Merritt Jacob and our supervising producer is...

When clinical psychologist, trauma therapist, and complex trauma survivor Dr. Ingrid Clayton learned about fawning — the fourth "F" after fight, flight, and freeze — she felt like this was the missing piece that explained her whole life. On this episode of How To!, Ingrid talks to Courtney Martin about what can happen when you find yourself in a chronic fawning response, and how to break free. Do...

Slate staff writer Rebecca Onion wants to improve her singing voice, but she's unsure about belting it out in public. On this episode, How To!'s Carvell Wallace introduces her to G. Phillip Shoultz III , associate director of VocalEssence , for advice on strengthening her voice, performing with confidence, and (gasp!) auditioning for a vocal group. If you liked this episode check out How To Write...