How to Drink Less

Do you ever find yourself reaching for a drink simply because you're bored? Here's the thing: boredom isn't always what it seems. Sometimes you have nothing to do. Sometimes you have too much to do. And sometimes what you're calling boredom is something else entirely. In this episode, we'll explore:  —the different reasons boredom can trigger cravings,  —why alcohol isn&ap...

What if one of the best ways to change your relationship with alcohol had nothing to do with resisting cravings or setting drinking rules? What if you simply started paying more attention to the things that make you smile? In this episode, I'm sharing a practice I've been coming back to for more than 15 years: noticing and celebrating the small joys of everyday life. We'll talk abou...

Ever found yourself thinking, “Why can't I drink like normal people?” Why can other people have one glass of wine and stop? Why do they seem to be able to take it or leave it, while you spend so much time thinking about drinking? But here's a question worth asking: What does “normal drinking” actually mean? In this Listener Q&A episode of How to Drink Less , you'll learn: why co...

Have you ever set rules about your drinking—only to find yourself constantly thinking about when you're allowed to drink again? Setting limits might help you control your drinking. But following the rules doesn't necessarily mean you're changing your relationship with alcohol. You could stick to your rules perfectly and still feel deprived, obsess about drinking, or rely on willpowe...

Have you ever wanted a drink so badly that it felt like something you needed —and saying no felt like depriving yourself? Here’s the thing: Wanting something and needing something are not the same thing. And learning to tell the difference can change the way you experience cravings. In this episode, you’ll learn: why a strong desire for alcohol can feel like a need; how the language of “deprivatio...

Have you ever poured yourself a drink, taken a few sips, and realized: I don’t even like this. So why am I still drinking it? It can be confusing to keep reaching for alcohol when you don’t particularly like the taste—or maybe don’t even enjoy how drinking makes you feel anymore. In this Listener Q&A episode, you’ll learn:  why drinking can become an automatic, conditioned response;   how ritu...

Have you ever noticed that when you really want a drink, your brain shows you the best 30 seconds of the experience and conveniently leaves out everything that comes next?  You picture the first sip, the relaxation, the buzz. But you don’t picture the second or third drink, the 3 a.m. wake-up, the foggy morning, or the disappointment and regret you might feel the next day. In this episode, you’ll...

Do you keep promising yourself you won’t drink tonight—only to change your mind when 5 p.m. rolls around? The problem may not be your willpower. The problem is that “I’m not going to drink tonight” is an intention, not a plan. If the situations that usually derail you are predictable, you can prepare for them before they happen. In this episode, you’ll learn: how to identify the specific situation...

If you’ve ever reached for a drink when you're stressed or sad or frustrated because you just wanted to feel better , this episode is for you. Because sometimes the thing that makes you feel better right now is the exact opposite of what will help you get better in the long run. Alcohol offers fast relief from anxiety, boredom, loneliness, and other uncomfortable feelings. But if you want to...

What if telling yourself “I can’t drink” is actually making alcohol more desirable? When alcohol feels forbidden, not drinking can start to feel like deprivation. But the truth is, you can drink. The more useful question is whether you actually want everything that comes with that choice. In this episode, you’ll learn:  why “I can’t drink” can make you feel restricted and deprived;   how to shift...

Every time you drink, you're practicing something. Drink after a stressful day—you're practicing using alcohol to escape stress. Drink because everyone else is drinking—you're practicing letting the group influence your decision. Drink whenever you're bored, anxious, or celebrating—you're reinforcing the association between those experiences and alcohol.  But here's t...

Are you trying not to drink tonight? Don't make it harder by worrying about whether you'll drink at Christmas, on your next vacation, or for the rest of your life. Your only job right now is to figure out tonight.  In this practical episode, I walk you through a simple plan for getting from the end of the workday to bedtime without drinking—without white-knuckling your way through the ev...

What if the craving you're feeling isn't actually for alcohol? In this episode, I challenge one of the biggest assumptions we make about drinking: that when we think "I need a drink," what we really want is alcohol.  That's not really true. Alcohol is simply the strategy your brain has learned to use to get something else—relaxation, confidence, connection, relief, belongi...

Have you ever promised yourself you'd only have one drink... and then found yourself pouring a second, a third, or finishing the whole bottle? You're not alone. In this episode, I explain why stopping at one drink is so much harder than it seems—and why it has far less to do with willpower than you might think. We'll explore what alcohol does to your brain after the first drink, why...

Do you ever feel like you're relying on sheer willpower to get through the evening without drinking? What if the problem isn't that you need more self-control... but that you're making the decision much harder than it needs to be? In this episode, I share simple, practical ways to change your environment so that saying no to alcohol becomes the easier choice. Because successful habi...

Are nonalcoholic drinks keeping you hooked, or can they actually help you stay sober? In this episode, I answer one of the questions I get asked constantly: Are non-alcoholic drinks okay to rely on or are they just perpetuating the dependence?  I break down why I think they're one of the most useful tools available to you, how to choose what to drink, and the thing worth watching for as you l...

Do you wake up determined not to drink... only to reach 6 p.m. and think, "I'll just have a drink tonight, but I definitely won't drink tomorrow" ? If that cycle feels painfully familiar, this episode is for you. Today I'm answering a listener question about one of the biggest lies our brains tell us when we're trying to change our drinking: that tomorrow will somehow...

Why does sobriety feel so awkward at first? Because you're a beginner. In this episode, we're talking about one of the biggest mistakes people make when they try to cut back or quit drinking: expecting themselves to feel comfortable saying no to alcohol from day one. The truth is, you're not just learning how to stop drinking. You're learning how to relax, celebrate, socialize,...

Do you hate being told what to do? If so, this episode is for you. So many people tell me they resist cutting back on alcohol simply because they don't like rules—even rules they make for themselves. But what if drinking isn't actually the rebellious choice? In this episode, we're exploring a powerful question: Whose voice are you listening to when you choose to drink? We'll ta...

If you've ever said, "Alcohol helps me fall asleep," this episode is for you. Today we're talking about why alcohol seems to help you fall asleep, what it's actually doing to your brain and nervous system, and why so many people wake up at 3 a.m. feeling anxious, restless, and wide awake after drinking. You'll learn: the difference between sedation and restorative sle...

Today marks 2,000 sober days for me. That's 2,000 hangovers I never had. 2,000 mornings I woke up with a clear head. 2,000 opportunities to show up for my life. When I first started trying to change my drinking, I thought sobriety would give me more energy, fewer regrets, and maybe help me lose a little weight. What I got instead was so much more. In this episode, I reflect on the unexpected...

What if alcohol isn't helping you cope with your problems? What if it's helping you tolerate them? In this episode, I explore the idea that alcohol keeps us settling for lives that are smaller, harder, and less fulfilling than they could be. I talk about how drinking becomes a shortcut to temporary relief, why alcohol feels like it's helping in the moment, and how it can quietly kee...

If you're trying to drink less or quit completely, cravings can feel like the hardest part. One minute you're fine. The next, your brain is telling you that a drink sounds like the best idea you've ever had. But what if cravings aren't a sign that you're failing? In this episode, I explain what alcohol cravings actually are, where they come from, and why most people make t...

What if the problem isn’t that you can’t quit drinking… but that you keep telling yourself you can’t? In this episode, I’m challenging the belief that sobriety is something other people know how to do but you somehow don’t. We’ll talk about: the difference between “I can’t” and “I haven’t yet”; why your self-talk matters more than you think; how to break down moderation and sobriety into a set of...

Ever wonder how alcohol affects your hunger, and why overeating and overdrinking so often go hand in hand?  In this episode, you'll learn:  why one drink often turns into many (and what’s really happening in your brain); how alcohol impacts hunger, cravings, and binge eating; what to do if you’re turning to alcohol when you’re hungry; what you actually need in those moments when your brain sa...