Hollywood Is Dead

Phoenix has seen The Star Wars Holiday Special 20 something times. All within the past week or so. The viewing for this movie was for B-Movie Battle! (formerly Shitty Movie Showdown!) episode IV and because of editing the show, he had to watch and re-watch the 'special' over 20 times. It makes him sick thinking about it. This podcast is an angry letter to whoever is responsible for The Star Wars H...

The Asylum makes terrible movies in hopes that you'll rent the wrong movie instead of the Hollywood blockbuster with a similar name/poster. Fuck them hard. Phoenix did an internship there for a bit when he was in film school. We've reviewed their movies on this show before (Sharknado 2 & 3) but this one is quite terrible. What's the plot? Good fucking question. Phoenix still doesn't know and he wa...

It's October so Phoenix watched and reviewed a Halloween-ish movie, Edward Scissorhands which he hadn't seen since about 1994 when The Crow took over his goth needs. He runs down the plot of the movie, doesn't understand why scissors are acceptable replacements for hands, doesn't understand how Edward got 15 foot blocks of ice into his attic when he lived alone and had scissors for hands, he didn'...

OUR REUNION SHOW! - Finally we have Phoenix, Mario and Brad back in studio for a special reunion show. Brad hasn't been on the show in almost a year to the day so we thought we'd get the band back together. But, it wouldn't be a reunion without going back to our roots. Episode 1 roots. So, in special celebration we watched another Nic Cage movie. This one is titled Outcast. The title pissed Brad o...

In this installment we watched Sharknado 3: Oh Hell No! and are now terrified of bad sequels. That was what the point of the movie was right? This episode features Phoenix, Brent, Bri, Philip, Sterling and our new engineer Ernie. Watch this movie and then listen to our review if you hate yourself! www.loiteringinwonderland.com Our podcasts: 1. Loitering In Wonderland (monthly movie review show) 2....

We watched Kung Fury and now we know there is a god. We need no further proof. This movie is only 30 minutes and it was the perfect amount of time. It's not often that we all enjoy the movie but this is one of those times. Go watch the entire movie on YouTube and then listen to our show!

Confusion alert: This episode was recorded 6.12.14. It was originally an episode of The Phoenix West Show back when that was a video movie review show. Now it has been repurposed as LIW episode 59. The reason it has been ignored until almost a year to the day is because the video/audio is out of synch but since it is no longer a video show but instead an audio show, it doesn't really matter. I wil...

In this installment we learned the true timeline of WW2. Turns out we were all wrong. Puppet Master had it right and now we have to get busy rewriting our history books. Heil history!

In this installment we barely talk bout the movie we watched. In fact, all we really mention about it is that Corey Feldman is 34 in the movie but is made up to be an old father despite being only about 7 years older than his daughter. He even talks with a fake old man voice. Terrible. Turns out Phoenix had already seen this movie very recently but completely removed it from his memory. We spend t...

In this installment we are forced to revisit the first 7 Puppet Master movies against our will because this movie is a fucking clip-show. Shame on you Charles Band, shame on you. We mostly discuss Josh Hartnett and how we haven't seen him in a while. This movie was a pointless piece of shit that apparently starred the Dos Equis Most Interesting Man In The World dude. Don't waste your time watching...

In this installment, you know what? Fuck it. In the 7th movie they rewrote their own history more times than a drunk grandpa making up war stories. This one made absolutely no sense, from the opening in 1944 to a random event leading to a flashback to 1892 that involves first draft versions of the puppets we know and love, bad guys from first century Egypt that look like the strangers from Dark Ci...

In this installment, we watched the 6th Puppet Master movie and had a hard time keeping our shit together. This was the most poorly made PM movie yet but it was more enjoyable than all the rest combined. This movie follows Tank, a child-like retard as he becomes a puppet maker, sex machine and eventually the puppet master. This movie was released in 1998 but it appears to have been 1992 pretending...

In this installment, Phoenix and Richard realize that you CAN put out the exact same movie with a different title and not be called on your bullshit. We spend most of the time doing Michael Caine impressions and talking about nonsense and about 1/3 of the episode is about the actual movie we watched. Enjoy!

In this installment we barely watched Puppet Master 4: The Demon. It was terrible. To be honest, most of this episode is just bullshitting about randomness instead of talking about the movie. We had to do this to avoid going insane.

In this installment we watched part 3 of the nonsensical series, Puppet Master. For the third movie in a row the writers of this series have re-written the history of their only overarching human character; Toulon. This movie is basically what would happen if Anne Frank's story involved more puppets and slightly less Nazi's. Fucking boring movie.

In this installment we continue to the sequel to Puppetmaster. However; things turned dim as we quickly realized the production values and acting talent took a quick swan dive for the sequel. This movie was a baffling mess of murder, rambling and sexual confusion that left us hopeful for part 3. Mostly, we were confused why Darkman was the puppet master in this one. Either that or Chevy Chase as t...

We watched Puppetmaster and now we can predict the future of puppetry. It's a dead art, turns out. On this cross-over show (Richard from Midnight With Robert Shaw and Phoenix from Loitering In Wonderland) we go through the Puppetmaster movies one at a time. This is part 1 of 11 before we move on to greener pastures. Meaning another terrible series. Send your suggestions to loiteringinwonderland@gm...

On this episode of The Phoenix West Show, I decided to watch a movie that was recent enough to hold your attention. I watched X-Men: Days Of Future Past. The most confusing title since Speed 2: Cruise Control and Major League: Back To The Minors. It's either one or the other, choose one. Is it the future or the past? We may never know. However, I did watch the movie and surprise, for once I enjoye...

(This is an audio only version of the video show, for video go to youtube.com/liwpodcast) On this episode of The Phoenix West Show, Phoenix breaks down the 2012 movie The ABC's Of Death letter by letter. Awful scene by awful scene. He also curses the name of Ti West because he's a terrible person. Stay tuned for more advances as far as the video/production goes.

(This is an audio only version of the video, for video go to youtube.com/liwpodcast) This time I focus my hate on 2011's You're Next which was actually released in 2013. Which should tell you something. This was was very pointless and slow which made for a recipe for booze.

I'm going to put The Phoenix West show on here for your listening pleasure despite the fact that it is a video show. If you like what you hear go to youtube.com/liwpodcast for more. For episode 1 I watched The Hunger Games: Catchign It was a real treat. These will be shorter in the future. Hopefully. That's not a promise. (Spoiler alert: the episodes do not get shorter.)

It was our Halloween episode so we watched Jason X and now we are confused why cowboys exist in the year 2455. Is your horror movie franchise starting to slip in the rental department? Fuck it! Head to space! That's what Jason X does for some reason. It follows the footsteps of other horror movie franchises Leprechaun and Hellraiser. This movie felt like soft-core porn without the tits. Although t...

We watched Timecop and now we have a craving for a guy doing the splits in short shorts. This movie is amazing. It managed to be a movie about JCVD kicking people in the face while not ONLY being a movie about JCVD kicking people in the face. It has an insane plot that they barely touch on. More time is spent explaining the fact that a man wants to become president. We recommend watching Timecop.

We watched Mortal Kombat and found out that Joe is basically a bottomless pit of information about the series. Odd for a man that's done so little mortal combatting in his life. his is the fighting movie for people that love spelling errors.

I watched Cursed and now I want to know where the holy fuck Joshua Jackson went. Is he on the Josh-island with Josh Hartnett? Oh, plus there is a bit of news on the show front after the review so listen up!