Here's A Guy

There comes a time in a man's life where he has to do the right thing. We must speak our minds in the interest of doing the morally just thing. Sure, it may be easier to stay quiet, but important things are never easy. It takes the courage and convictions of the bold to affect change in our world, and in a world in need of drastic, radical change, this is critical for the betterment of humanit...

It's so hot outside, we're practically melting. Kinda like that gal in the Wizard of Oz. What a strange movie. Talking animals and spellcasters and whatnot. I've never had a dream like that, not sure what Dorothy was smoking. I did once have a very vivid dream that a demon from Hell was throwing firebolts at me as I was trapped in a truck in the field by my house. It would have kicked...

Well, it's my favorite time of evening. Almost bedtime, I'm horizontal on the couch, I'm writing the episode description for Here's a Guy, and I'm eating some tortilla chips. That's right, out of the bag. Straight rawdogging it. Why did it develop that we eat potato chips plain but not tortilla chips? Even Fritos can be eaten plain, although it's not everyone's favo...

Some days, we’re in pain. Physical pain, mental pain, emotional pain. Much like that Three Days Grace song, “Pain.” Except as a normal person in your 30s, your position on pain from a philosophical perspective is diametrically opposed to that of the freaky guy in that band. What was their deal? They were kind of a butt rock band, but they had a metally edge to them. Sort of like Buckcherry with an...

This week marks a milestone for Here's a Guy. Or, more specifically, for our platform. Or, even more specifically, for the site we use to upload the show. See, what used to happen is that you uploaded the file and all the episode information to a site called anchor dot fm. Then, it got bought out by Spotify, and it became "Spotify for Podcasters." Functionally, that changed nothing o...

I had a random state holiday off today. One of those holidays that honors a terrible person, but you get a day off work anyway, so who's gonna complain. I actually think that's more appropriate. If you were living a day named after a terrible person AND you had to go to work, that would just be insulting. Maybe that could be the compromise to get us to the 4-day work week that has been emp...

As the title suggests, we have no title this week. This was a deliberate choice, and an act of protest until our demands are met. Given the news, I should point out that this act of protest is very different than those of various college students around the country right now. The key differences are that those protests are cool and commendable, whereas this is a lame bit for a podcast. We're p...

It’s a beautiful chilly night. The house is quiet save for the pitter patter of rain hitting the windows. The sort of idyllic night they try to replicate on those YouTube live channels for you to fall asleep to. Those are some kind of racket, huh? Collect a little ad revenue from video startup, then it doesn’t matter that much what you put into the video because it either works right away or it do...

There comes a time in every podcaster's life where he must make some choices. The choice to thoroughly plan things out and put out an improved product that may gain some traction, or to continue on with the same level of quality and use that as a bit. Both have their merits. One is more noble, to be sure. But, more importantly, it's also a lot more work. It's not necessarily funnier ei...

This is Episode 111, which is kind of fun, because that's like a bunch of 1s in a row. Three of them to be precise. As far as I know, that's the first episode of Here's a Guy where it's 3 of the same numbers in a row. Monumental stuff. 111 also reminds me of that weird early 2000s indie rock band called !!! that pronounced it "chick-chick-chick." That was an obnoxious bit...

Well, we're back. Back again. Like the Eminem song, you see. Just in a much more resigned presentation. That tracks, since we're three very tired amateur podcasters and he is a rather boisterous rapper. Is he really blonde? He looks like a guy who isn't actually blonde but that's how I've always pictured him. There was also a random Jackass skit where Bam Margera was blonde, th...

Well, what can we say about this episode. Uh, there were two of us. It's the 109th episode, not counting bonuses. Then it would be more like the 113th I think? Not much of a distinction there. 109 and 113 are two numbers nobody cares about. When you ask somebody what their favorite numbers are, they never say 109 or 113. Why would they? They're not aesthetically pleasing and they have no s...

Do you ever have a day where it just seems like you malfunctioned from the get-go? You booted up incorrectly. That's an analogy, but I think it also works fairly well in the literal sense. I mean, our brain is a series of little electrical circuits, right? Isn't that kind of what the whole deal is? Encased in a wet blob of spongey meat, of course. Kind of like if you made a computer out of...

Welcome to what we consider to be an old school episode of Here's a Guy. Does that translate to the "fun-fun" aspect that we always promise up top? Probably. We hope so anyway. Nobody's taken us over to court yet over that. Another benefit of doing a show that makes no money or has any stakes, people have very little ammunition when they get mad at you. What are we supposed to do...

What is in a name? Would a rose by any other name smell as sweet? Shakespeare wrote that. I'm not sure what he meant, because the answer is obviously yes. The scent of a rose, or any other flower, comes from its pollen. I think, anyway. I could be wrong about that. But in any event, the name has nothing to do with it. So, like, why is it even a question? Is that supposed to be the point? Why s...

This week, Here's a Guy is taking you on a wild safari. This means that you will be exploring the wonders of our natural world. It also means that there is a not-insignificant chance you will die in the process. Also, the whole thing will feel vaguely racist in a way you can't quite put your finger on. Was there ever any particular good reason why people on safaris wore those helmets and k...

The weather outside is frightful. However, it's not Christmas anymore, so there's not a fun twee little song to make ourselves feel better about it. Actually, now that I think about it, is Let It Snow specifically a Christmas song? I know that's how it's looked upon, but I mean lyrically. The song is just about being inside while there is significant winter weather happening. It&#3...

It's 2024, and we at Here's a Guy are officially pledging to change absolutely nothing. That's right, 100+ episodes in, and we clearly have this whole podcasting thing figured out. The numbers may not reflect it, the reviews may not reflect it, but we know. A true artist always knows. We won't be changing the audio quality, we won't be changing the amount of preparation that go...

Do You Hear What I Hear? It's a Holly Jolly Christmas! Joy to the World! You know what, fuck this. I had this bit planned out where I was going to write a description in all Christmas song titles, then when I actually started it I realized how much effort it was going to be. I have so little energy anymore. Also I drank too much spiked eggnog so I'm getting sluggish. Spiked eggnog is great...

It's episode 101. If we were a Myspace-era band instead of a podcast it would be Episode 1OH!1. In the parlance of Ireland, it's Episode 1 o'1. Is that uncool to say? I never know where we stand these days on the Irish and other niche types of white people. Look, I'll be honest, I wasn't involved in the making of this episode. I wasn't there when it was recorded and I haven...

Last week the fellas hopped on a little ol' site called twitch dot tv and did something they'd never done before (except one time)- they did a live episode of the podcast called Here's a Guy. We could think of no better way than to commemorate our 100th episode. And what a celebration it was. If you were there live, that's great, but we wanted to give everyone a chance to re-live t...

You and I in a little podcast Buy tales of Guys with the money we've got Set them free on Thursday at dawn Til' one by one, they were gone Back at base, bugs in the software Float the message "There's Guys out there!" Floating in the podcast sky Ninety-nine episodes gone by. Ninety-nine episodes Floating in the podcast sky One of them's called "Brown Alert" It h...

October is over, meaning Mayhem Month has passed. All of the year's weirdness is behind us, everything is back to normal now. It's dark outside at 5 but it's 80 degrees. I'm sure it's all good going forward! The actual biggest change around here in October was that I bought my cat a new litter box. It was time anyway, but his strange habit of shitting up the sides of the box ki...

Good morning, world. It's Halloween, the best day of the year for those of us with a certain type of personality (depressed, annoying). The story of Halloween is that for the first decade of your life, it's about getting candy, for the second decade it's about mischief, for the third decade it's about getting laid, and then after that it's kinda whatever you make of it. Eating...

Wow, what an episode this was. It's what I believe the kids these days call a banger. It bangs. A real bangarang. Maybe? I don't actually know what a bangarang is, to be honest. I just remember that Skrillex song from back in the day. God, that was annoying. Man, he fell off. He was one of the biggest musicians at the world at one point, genuinely. Skrillex! That little geek and all his be...