Hand in Hand Parenting: The Podcast

What to do if you feel stuck, freeze in the moment or second guess how you use the Hand in Hand Tools. Am I doing this right? How do I know what to do? Why do I freeze when I want to use the tools? We hear these questions more often than you might imagine from parents who are using the Hand in Hand approach.  So for this last episode of the season,  Emily and Kathy delve into how second guessing a...

Understand the unseen fears that drive a child's aggression and stop it using nurturing supportive strategies. Emily and Kathy address a parent question from the surprised parent of a child who has started hitting out at other kids.  This child, like many others who lash out, has not grown up around hitting or seen it modelled elsewhere, so the parent is confused about where the behavior is coming...

Today, Emily and Kathy are joined by Hand in Hand's founder Patty Wipfler, who shares her insights for parents on how to support their children when they have chosen to divorce.  As a new family dynamic forms, it is natural for children to experience a range of emotions during separations and divorces, even when terms have been friendly.  Patty shares unexpected behaviors children can display, as...

How to Tailor the Hand in Hand tools with different age kids - With Summer Sheldon This week Emily responds to a parent question: "Does birth order make a difference to how you use the Hand in Hand tools?" and calls on mom of three, licensed counsellor and Hand in Hand Instructor Summer Sheldon to help answer.  Listen in to hear how you can adjust the Hand in Hand tools for each of your children,...

Using the Hand in Hand Staylistening Tool with older kids. It's fairly easy to tell when a toddler's emotional system has taken over. Tantrums. A toddler will yell when they don't get the blue cup or can't take another cookie, and then scream, throw themselves on the floor, or send something crashing.  Not so with tweens and teens.  In fact, the way they signal their upset can feel very much more...

Unplug & Play With Dr. Lawrence J. Cohen In this episode, Emily and Kathy sit down with Dr. Lawrence J Cohen, a Nappa Gold -award winning author of Playful Parenting and a play therapist. Dr. Cohen is a strong advocate for physical play and roughhousing, and how it can positively impact children and adults.  Dr. Cohen talks about how roughhousing can make your day so much better in just a few seco...

Strategies That Bring Smiles & Joy With Kirsten Nottleson Sometimes it feels like our tweens and teens are living on a different planet. How are we supposed to know exactly what they need from us? That's exactly what Emily asks play expert and Hand in Hand instructor Kirsten Nottleson this week.  Listen in to hear how to decode tween and teen behavior, keep relationships warm, and connection stron...

There's an idea out there that a good parent is serene, caring, all-knowing-never-cross creature… It's such a fairytale fantasy. The reality really is so much more human. It's messy. It's awesome. It's draining, delightful, sometimes dreadful and so on: Parenting demands the full spectrum of human emotion for many, many, years. And we're sorry to break the news but it turns out a human can't alway...

"Am I good enough?" "I should do more…" "I never get it right…" This week Emily and Kathy are talking about overcoming feelings of parent guilt.  Parent guilt can creep up on us, leaving us feeling overwhelmed and questioning our parenting abilities. And while that desire to want to do everything perfectly is often born out of love for your child, mixed messages from the media, and old messages fr...

Strategies for infusing fun and laughter into your daily life with kids. When we approach parenting with a sense of playfulness, it can make all the difference. Play has the power to melt away tension, create a culture where mistakes are okay, and leave us feeling more open and flexible. And yet, the burdens of daily life can leave us feeling heavy. Plus, how can you possibly be playful when your...

It's natural to want to react quickly as a parent. Whether your child  has spilled their juice all over the carpet, or they're refusing to do their homework, a first instinct is often to scold or discipline them – even if you made 100 vows not to.  However, today hosts Emily and Kathy talk about an alternative approach that might seem a bit unconventional at first. It's a way you can really close...

What can you do in the moment to stop losing it? As parents, we all want what's best for our children, but sometimes, and despite our best intentions, we find ourselves getting frustrated and raising our voices. Yelling at our kids can not only harm our relationship with them but can also affect their well-being. But don't worry, in today's Hand in Hand Parent Club podcast, Emily and Kathy give yo...

Is your parent template set to "yell" and "lose it" - and how can you de-program these go-to reactions? You might think Hand in Hand tools sound great – on paper. In real life, getting present, being patient, and setting kind limits? That can be really hard! Research says that in tough moments parents often default to a sort of "response template" they absorbed growing up. The thinking goes that i...

Get fast ways to refuel! Parents are asking: Should things be as hard as this? Shouldn't I be able to keep on top of everything? Am I messing up? Parenting does feel really hard for so many of us after these past few years.  Because we are still trying to find our bearings – and because life remains uncertain.  We get told a little self-care will solve everything… As if a green tea or a massage wi...

This connection-first approach is far more effective than threats or bribes. Most parents don't intend to threaten or bribe.  But it's easier to do than you may think. Take a look: "If you don't tidy up the blocks now, you can't go to the park." "How about you just put the blocks in a pile for now…and tidy them later. Otherwise we'll be late for the park." "If you tidy the blocks up now, we can go...

Discover a powerful, playful way to dissolve power struggles. What if you had a way to quickly dissolve tension and set limits that felt good for you and your child? So you could overcome cranky behavior, bickering and fights – without yelling, harsh words or punishments? Emily and Kathy explain how it's possible with playful limits. You'll hear why laughter is connecting and why that is so import...

What these behaviors really mean, and how to see them off without blowing your top. Whining… Pestering… Days when everything has to be "just right" for your child. These behaviors can be very triggering and really push on a parent's buttons.  Unless they know how to read the behavior.  In this podcast, Kathy and Emily jump into "pretexts," (behavior that asks for a limit).  They share how these pr...

Emily and Kathy introduce step one of Hand in Hand's 3-step strategy for setting limits: Listen, Limit, Listen. Backtalk and power struggles aren't fun for anyone. So it's easy to get stuck dancing around when and how to set a limit. What happens when you ask your child to turn off the TV and they don't? A second request? A lecture? A criticism that they never listen? What if your child negotiates...

Treating this verbal off-track behavior as defiance doesn't help it stop. Read on to learn what you can do instead. Logic and negotiation are great skills for kids to possess. But when your child uses these "little lawyer" skills to try and get out of a limit you set, it can be compelling, convincing – and very draining.  One minute you are sure of yourself and your boundaries and the next you're...

Re-evaluating how we think about "misbehavior," when kids don't do as we ask. Emily and Kathy look at the common parenting question, "Why won't my kids listen," from a whole new angle… …From inside the brain of an upset, disconnected child. It's what you could think of as an "emotional emergency," that stops kids listening and cooperating. And when you can see misbehavior from this angle, it becom...

Responding from the thinking brain versus reacting from the emotional system. How do you feel when you child won't stop complaining about a playdate that didn't go their way? Or when they scream "I hate you," because you said no to a fizzy soda minutes before dinner? Many parents find their emotions flare at these times too. We may have an urge to explain, reason, lecture or teach when a child is...

What is the true purpose of crying, and why are we in such a rush to shut tears down? When a child cries, a parent's first instinct is to try and help them to stop. But tears are helpful for a child's natural healing system. Sitting calmly with a child as they cry can even boost their sense of wellbeing and confidence. This week, Emily and Kathy share why tantrums and crying happen, so we can chan...

If you expect a child to go off happily and play after giving them some good attention, you maybe in for some disappointment. Here's why... If you spend more time with your child… If you make life more fun than usual… If you have a good play and a great time… Why, oh why, would a child demand more attention afterwards? Extra neediness just seems counter-intuitive doesn't it?  And yet, this phenome...

Do some of your children's annoying behaviors show up time and time again? This week Emily and Kathy are talking about a child's repetitive annoying behaviors that just will not go away.  You've probably been there: Yet another meltdown when you call breakfast and your toddler sees oatmeal, not cereal.  Two kids who consistently squabble all the way to school.  A child who cannot take a shower wit...

Parents frequently ask hosts Emily and Kathy about how to stop bad behaviors, and the answer they give is often a surprise... Kathy explains that refusals, tantrums, whining and fighting or are not mindless acts of disobedience intended to push your buttons. Actually, these challenging behaviors can be seen as signals. It's why responding with conventional parenting strategies like timeouts and re...