Evolutionary Men

In this episode I bring on Benjamin Roth and Jeff Raab to explore how improv and theater work can help men get out of their heads and into their bodies. We talk about the courage it takes to make bold choices without overthinking, how to stay present when you cant control the outcome, and why developing comfort with failure might be one of the most important masculine capacities for navigating lif...

After more than 3 years and 7 cohorts of The Heart of Shadow program and retreat for men, Luke and I are thrilled to be teaming up with my wife Violet to bring the experience to women. Many of the men that work with us ask how they can support their partners and the women in their life, and we're thrilled to say we think The Heart of Shadow for Women is one of those ways! The three of us talk...

In this episode I bring on my friend and practicing couples therapist Ryan Ginn to break down what separates great couples therapy from a waste of your time and money. If you've ever felt like you and your partner were just venting to a silent witness every session, or you're trying to figure out where to even start looking for the right fit, this one's for you. Ryan and I get into the...

In this episode I'm joined by Dr. Luke Adler, my co-facilitator in the Heart of Shadow program, to dive into shadow work for one of the most common struggles I see in men: knowing what you feel but not being able to say it. That chasm between awareness and expression, between what's happening inside and actually moving sound through your body and into a conversation. We break down why so m...

In this episode I'm joined by Dr. Luke Adler to explore how shadow work can transform your sex life. We dig into why so many men use ejaculation as their primary emotional release tool and what happens when sex becomes responsible for making us feel better. We unpack the connection between safety, relaxation, and arousal, and why performance anxiety often stems from deeper places we don't...

In this episode my wife Violet and I break down why your relationship can’t always be sunny and perfect—and why that’s actually a good thing. We walk through the four seasons of relationships and the reality of how different parts of your partnership can be in completely different seasons at the same time. Your sex life might be in spring while your emotional connection is in winter, and not knowi...

In this episode Luke and I dive into the shadow of worry and rumination that keeps so many men trapped in their heads. We break down why living from the shoulders up isn't strength, it's avoidance. You'll hear about the subtle ways fear masquerades as logic, how productivity can become procrastination, and why jacking off might be your nervous system's go-to discharge pattern. We g...

In this episode my wife Violet and I share the five scariest moments in our relationship. These weren't just hard conversations or minor disagreements, but the moments where both of us genuinely questioned whether we'd make it, whether we'd chosen the right partner, or whether we were trapped in patterns we couldn't escape. We get specific about what actually happened, the deep fea...

In this episode I explore why so many good men still feel a quiet emptiness even when life looks full. We get into what’s really underneath the loneliness men carry today, and how brotherhood, real connection with men who both see you and call you higher, brings life back into your system. This isn’t about fixing yourself. It’s about remembering what makes you come alive again. Join a men's gr...

In this episode I sit down with Karen McMahon, a high-conflict divorce strategist who's been guiding men and women through one of the most painful transitions of their lives since 2010. Karen specializes in working with nice guys who are stuck in volatile marriages, paralyzed by guilt about leaving their kids or fear that their partner will harm themselves if they go. We dig into why staying i...

In this episode I break down one of the most powerful investments you can make in yourself as a man: your social capital. Most men grind through life alone, trying to figure everything out by themselves, and it's killing us. The antidote is simple but countercultural: a men's group, a circle of guys you meet with regularly who actually give a shit about you and your life. I introduce the m...

In this episode, Luke and I dive into what's really behind male depression. We explore why the things men typically do to feel better often make the stuckness worse, and then reveal the powerful connection between depression and unexpressed anger. Luke goes deeper and breaks down the physiology of depression from a Chinese medicine perspective setting the stage for how shadow work in men's...

In this episode I dive into the hidden roots of nice guy syndrome along with my Heart of Shadow co-facilitator Dr. Luke Adler. We explore how being a "nice guy" is actually one of six primitive nervous system survival responses rooted in fear of losing connection. Luke and I share vulnerable stories about how this shows up and why shadow work is the real pathway out. We break down why cogn...

In this episode I break down the three types of disconnection that are crushing men right now and leading to depression, stuckness, and a sense that something's just off in life. I walk through what each of these disconnections looks like, why they're so common, and most importantly, what men can actually do to reconnect and start feeling alive again. If you're feeling stuck, depressed...

In this episode I chat with naturalist and poet Roy Arthur Blodgett to face what men inherit: numbness, isolation, and a grim overculture of masculinity. We get into men and land, how the wild helped Roy feel most himself, and what shifts when we stop spectating and start participating. We talk land literacy, seeing patterns of succession, the fear of causing harm that keeps men frozen, and the po...

In this episode, I get personal and share about my top 16 moments that I've gotten to experience that's to men's work, all stemming from men's groups, retreats, and community (and in no particular order). These are all experiences that have enriched my life beyond measure, and were all possible because of the depth of connection I've cultivated with incredible men in my life. S...

In this episode, Luke and I explore the complex narratives surrounding masculinity, particularly the idea of victimhood among men. We dig into the cultural reflections of masculinity, the evolution of men's roles, and the importance of shadow work in reclaiming agency and responsibility from the oh so alluring victim masculinity being sold these days. Join the Heart of Shadow Men's Group &...

In this episode, I dive into what I believe is the new standard for powerful men: taking responsibility for our pain. Whether it’s personal, ancestral, or collective, owning our wounds is what separates conscious men from those stuck in blame or avoidance. I explore how trauma lives in the nervous system, how patterns are passed down through generations, and why the work of healing, though uncomfo...

In this episode, I sit down with my longtime brother and mentor Ted Riter for a conversation that goes straight into the heart of sacred masculinity, grief, and transformation. Ted is a former rabbi turned spiritual guide and relationship coach who brings over 30 years of wisdom into the space of men’s work, intimacy, and embodiment. We explore how a collapse in his life led him to the very work h...

In this episode I unpack why mastering sexy hacks like alpha-drops and breath orgasms is just the tip of the iceberg. I explore how childhood attachment wounds, body neglect, and unprocessed relational pain set the real limits on your erotic charge, and I explain why the hard, unsexy healing work—therapy, men’s groups, shadow work, and nervous-system rehab—is the game-changer for lasting safety, t...

In this episode, I explore four core capacities every man needs to start cultivating to stay vital and grounded in an AI-powered world. This isn’t science fiction—AI is already shaping how we live, relate, and make choices. I talk about the rising influence of automation, and four essential tools for thriving as a man in the world that is now here. If you want to stay human, creative, and trustwor...

Shame isn’t something to get rid of—it’s something to work with . And when we do, it can become one of the most powerful tools for growth, integrity, and connection in a man’s life. In this episode, I sit down with Dr. Keith Witt—psychologist, author, and one of the most seasoned men I’ve had the privilege of learning from—to unpack the deeper function of shame and how it shapes our values, our re...

In this episode, I drop in with Michael Holt, founder of the Savage and Saint Collective. We explore what it really means to live as a whole man—one who’s both deeply sensitive and unapologetically strong. Michael shares his path from violence, rage, and addiction to embodiment, service, and sacred discipline. We talk about why the healed masculine isn’t soft, how true spiritual practice requires...

In this episode, I unpack the concept of men’s groups as the essential “third way”—a relational container that fills the gaps left by coaching and therapy. Drawing on personal experience and cultural insight, I explore how these groups serve as both a third place and a missing medicine for modern men—offering brotherhood, real-time feedback, and deep presence in a peer-led structure. With loneline...

In this episode, I'm joined by my friend and brother in the men's work space Amir Khalighi. He shares his journey into men's work, discussing the importance of somatic healing and the role of community in personal growth. He emphasizes the need for men to reconnect with their true selves and the natural world, highlighting the challenges they face in today's society. Amir defines &...