Bitch Bible

It's Leo season and Jackie is joined by her morally bankrupt best friend Max to discuss all the things (literally can't remember what the hell we talked about but I am assuming it's chaotic and offensive) so grab your cigarettes and birth control and enjoy! See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Jackie sits down with friend Stassi Schroeder to discuss motherhood, cancellations and Mormon candle culture. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Jackie is still in postpartum diapers and giving all the dirty details about the birth of her son. Starting with an alleged cease and desist and ending with an infant wedding celebration. Jackie is still in postpartum diapers and giving all the dirty details about the birth of her son. Starting with an alleged cease and desist and ending with an infant wedding celebration. See Privacy Policy at ht...

Jackie is joined by her babies godmother Max Bronner. I can't really remember what we talked about but I am sure it's very offensive and for that we half heartedly apologize! See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Jackie has not given birth yet and verbally assaults her audience on the tail end of this 40 year pregnancy. She also disccuses Kardashian drama, Drake's Birkin collection and why Julianne Hough might be terrorizing her by way of edible arrangement.  See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Jackie gets fisted both medically and metaphorically in the last week of her pregnancy enduring a plumbing crisis, an emotional journey to TJ Maxx a la Bethenny Frankel and various undercarriage catastrophes. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Jackie celebrates the Fourth of July by sharing all the things she hates about our country and its patrons! Including but not limited to: Target, Mother Nature, "Quiet Luxury" and Jennifer Lopez's alcoholic beverage line. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Jackie has hemorrhoids, new psychological warfare tips and a not so sunny disposition as she enters the final days of her pregnancy. She covers "The Idol", mourns the Titanic excursion gone wrong and her most recent gripes with Instagram. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Jackie is on reserve fuel and using her final battery percentage to assasinate martini reels, the new feminist agenda, being haunted by her dead mother, broken childhood dreams and problematic Halloween costume ideas from the past. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Jackie is struggling in the final moments of her pregnancy. She recaps the final Vanderpump Rules reunion, her most recent parking lot verbal altercation and channels Bethenny Frankel in a very off brand moment of sharing her current favorite things! Cue the anal leakage. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info...

Jackie dedicates this episode and the entirety of its offensive contents to the gays. She recaps her babymoon, close encounter with Beverley Mitchell and her sexual future with Matty Healy!  See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Jackie is once again alone and miserable in her last weeks of pregnancy alienating the masses by talking about body dysmorphia, objectifying her unborn baby and recapping Succession and Vanderpump Rules all whilst trying not to murder her pear shaped husband. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Jackie deep dives Bethenny Frankel's social media decisions, romanticizes throwing phones at people and gives some unpopular pregnancy updates. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Jackie psychoanalyzes the Vanderpump Rules finale, Taylor Swift and Matt Healy's relationship and pays homage to rough parenting skills. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Jackie is back from a home reno 5150 and ready to get cancelled! She recounts Grandma Gloria almost being abducted, her new problematic event planning business and why Mindy Kaling should stop hiking ASAP. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Jackie is dealing with pregnancy body shaming after a verbally abusive "masseuse" objectifies her. She also deals with her on again off again stalker, runs into CHERYL, gives a fun diabetic update and covers Met Gala fashion! See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Jackie survived therapy camp and proves to show little to no growth. She breaks down the psychology behind the Sofia Richie wedding hype, makes a strong case for child labor and how to convince your significant other that you don't gp number two.   See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Jackie is away at therapy camp and decides to go out with a bang. She discovers ground beef under her breasts, has a pedicure emergency with Grandma Gloria and reflects on a problematic science project. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Jackie is getting ready for her therapy retreat and for one final purge decides to cancel the Dalai Lama, make a case for consensual beastiality and why we should rebrand slut shaming! She hath risen! See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Jackie has a setback in her blissful pregnancy and considers leaving her marriage to be a single mother feasting on innocent souls and artichoke hearts.  See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Jackie warns listeners of the aesthetic hazards of watching "Daisy Jones and The Six", makes a strong case for Eucalypts girlies and explains why her and Andrew almost got divorced over his latest failed home repair.  See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Jackie answers some listener questions, talks about her vagina falling out of her leotard at her sister's wedding and how to instill boundaries in this digital age of instant gratification! See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Jackie survives a mold infestation and is in her new studio in her old crusty robe strategizing Raquelle Leviss' publicity crisis, deals with yet another nail salon trauma and rehabilitates after her sister's wedding weekend! See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Jackie unpacks the Vanderpump Rules drama, Selena Gomez vs Hailey Bieber (kill me) and shares a low cal shirley temple recipe because she is nothing if not multidimensional.  See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Jackie enters dicey pregnancy territory after ingesting a papaya salad, doubles down on her anti- Apple Watch stance and breaks down "Lucky Girl Syndrome" with some actual authority.  See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .