The UNcivilized Podcast with Traver Boehm

Most men are taught to look outside themselves for purpose: a bigger paycheck, a better title, more status, more proof. Amir Khalighi sees it differently. The signal gets clearer when you stop looking out and start paying attention to what keeps calling you inward. Amir is the founder of Embodied Masculine and has worked with men for more than three decades. In this conversation, we get into what...

Every man has parts of himself he may not particularly like admitting are there. Aggression. Dominance. The desire to hunt, take, compete, capture, or exert power. Recently, someone asked me how I deal with what I’d call my own inner predator or dark masculine. My answer starts here: I acknowledge that it exists. Because pretending those parts aren’t there doesn’t make them disappear. What we supp...

How do you practice dominance when you’re single and don’t have a partner to practice with? The answer has a lot less to do with flirting than you might think. In this short Q&A, Coral Osborne and I break down why dominance starts with everyday interactions: creating connection, taking initiative, paying attention to how people respond, and learning how to lead without needing anything in retu...

Jeremy Goldberg is back on the podcast with a book he spent five years trying not to write. A Giraffe Named Feelings is a memoir about the parts of his life he spent years avoiding, numbing, or simply not knowing how to talk about. We get into his parents’ divorce, his mom’s alcoholism, his own relationship with alcohol and drugs, getting cheated on, sobriety, and what happened when he finally let...

A woman can feel when your words and your motive don’t match. And according to sexologist Coral Osborne, that disconnect matters far more than whether you know the right positions, techniques, or lines to say. Coral joins me for a conversation about sexual honesty, desire, boundaries, aftercare, and one of the most important skills I didn’t learn until much later in life: attunement. We talk about...

About a year ago, I typed “Shibari” into Spotify because I needed something better to tie people to than my liked songs — which are basically 80s music, Metallica, and the Little Drummer Boy. A playlist called Chiara Shibari popped up. I used it for the next year with absolutely no idea Chiara was an actual human being. Then I found Julieta Chiara on Substack and had the very mature realization: O...

Most of us say we want peace. Then the second we actually touch it, some part of us starts looking for a problem. Brea Segger and I talk about why real transformation doesn’t always need a breakdown, a breakthrough, or a giant emotional release. We get into the exhaustion that comes from trying to be someone you’re not, why loneliness can exist even when you’re surrounded by people, and what happe...

At twelve years old, Tanya Marie Dubé left home with $18. For the next several years, she moved between friends' houses, church bathrooms, cars, closets, and the street while trying to finish school. She learned how to read a room, anticipate danger, handle everything herself, and do whatever needed to be done to get through to the next day. Those skills helped her survive. The problem is that sur...

I left my suitcase on an airplane, sprinted through a Houston terminal, and blew out both calves in the process. That was day one of seven weeks in Costa Rica — and it was just the beginning of the jungle trying to teach me something. In this solo episode, I'm sharing three lessons I brought back from Costa Rica — through injuries, a viral post about men's mental health, and a free diving...

Sasha Cobra spent her twenties pouring drinks at a private cocktail bar in San Francisco — sober, vegan, healthy, and getting paid well to serve people poison. Then one Saturday morning in Golden Gate Park, she closed her eyes and saw herself doing something else entirely. She called her boss from a tea house that same afternoon and quit. She never went back. That decision started a twenty-year pa...

Laurita Gorman almost never got called up to read her poem in front of the audience. She signed up for her first poetry slam and spent the whole night waiting to hear her name — the host had forgotten to add her to the list. She got up anyway. And wouldn’t you know it, placed second. That accident put her in the finals, and by the end of that year she was reading a poem about a woman named Laken R...

Fair warning — this one is not safe for work. It's also not safe for anyone who wants to keep pretending that what happens in the bedroom has nothing to do with who you are everywhere else. —— Athos Khan is a board-certified physician, Jungian-influenced philosopher, and author of several books on kink, intimacy, and the deeper psychology underneath both. He's been kinky since the beginnin...

Most people think Ayahuasca is a drug. A trip. Something you do once to see some visuals and come back with a good story. Sam Believ has sat with over 3,000 people at Lawayra — the highest-rated ayahuasca retreat in South America — and he'll tell you that couldn't be further from the truth. Sam is a Latvian engineer who walked away from a six-figure offshore oil and gas career, landed in C...

A decade ago, I woke up and it felt like my life had crashed all at once. A miscarriage. A divorce. A business partnership ending — all inside of a few months. These weren't small things. I found three things that worked like hitting a reset button — control, alt, delete. You know, the command you give your computer when something's stuck. They helped me stop fighting what had happened and...

If you’re a man in any kind of relationship with a woman, you need to listen to this podcast. Menopause isn't just a women's issue. And if you're in a relationship with someone going through it, this conversation might be the most useful thing you listen to all year. Dr. Kelly Casperson is a urologist, author, and host of the You Are Not Broken podcast. She was spending her days mostly...

Last summer I spent 49 days alone in a pitch-black room in Italy. No light. No phone. No people. Just me and whatever was waiting on the other side of all that silence. Somewhere around week two, at 4 am, walking six steps in one direction and six steps back, four words dropped without warning. One Life. Soul Led. All In. That dropped me to my knees. This episode is the full framework — the story...

Most humans aren’t taught to grieve. And that avoidance — of grief, of death, of darkness — might be the thing costing us the most. Siobhan Asgharzadeh is a grief guide, death midwife, and storyteller who has spent her life apprenticing to the forces most of us spend ours running from. In this conversation, we get into what it actually means to trust death, why our cultural distrust of it is keepi...

I want to be upfront with you — this conversation goes some places that not every podcast will go. David Sutcliffe is a somatic therapist, men's work facilitator, and former Hollywood actor who has made a career out of sitting with the men most people won't. He's interviewed Andrew Tate. He's sat across from Justin Waller. He's been in rooms where men have admitted things most...

I've been sitting on this idea for years. I almost wrote an entire book about it before I wrote Man UNcivilized. Today I'm finally talking about it publicly — and yes, it's about sex. But it's really about a lot more than that. —— The sexual paradigm most of us inherited is broken. I don't say that to be provocative. I say it because we have an Epstein list, telegram rooms wher...

Most men spend decades chasing something they can't name — and by the time they figure out what it was, they've already lost everything trying to get it. That's the story Chris Robbins lived. Corporate career, seven restaurants, millions of dollars raised — and millions lost. A father he loved deeply — and could never quite reach. A life built entirely on the outside that was quietly c...

What happens when your body becomes the battleground — and the only thing keeping you alive is a fraction of 1% that refuses to quit? Kayla Nelson spent years navigating chronic Lyme disease, tick-borne illness, and toxic mold while the Western medical system handed her nothing but dead ends. She lost her health, her finances, and almost everything else. What brought her back wasn't what the W...

I found Coral Osborne through a Substack piece she wrote titled "I Hired a Male Escort" — and I'll be honest, the title got me. But it was what she unpacked inside it that made me want to get her on the show. Coral spent years as a closeted sex worker, and what she found in those rooms wasn't what most people assume. Men showed up without their masks on. There were clear boundari...

Most men were told to pick a side. And most men have spent their whole lives half of what they could be because of it. Josh Tyler is a former professional MMA fighter, survival instructor, and the founder of Savage Gentleman. He believes the men who figure out how to hold both don't just become more capable — they become more of what they actually are. In this episode, we get into what men have lo...

Most men were never actually initiated into manhood. Nobody stood on the other side and said — you're different now, here's what that means, here's what we expect from you. Most of us just got older. And thus, many men are still running the same adolescent software in a grown man's body. Rites of passage leader Jeddy Azuma is back on the podcast, and this conversation goes deep fas...

If you've read 28 Days in Darkness or followed my journey into the dark rooms, you've heard her name. Arpita Kshama Devi was the guide on the other side of the door — for my first retreat in 2016, and again this past year when I went back in for 49 days. I've wanted to get her on the mic for years and we finally made it happen. —— Arpita is a meditation teacher, dark retreat guide, yog...