Untoxicated Podcast

Even when done with loving intent, restriction and control does not lead to the desired results of obedience and conformity: restriction leads to rebellion. Just ask anyone ever who has tried to control someone else’s drinking. Click here  to take our survey on attraction and relationships. If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who und...

New from  Sober and Unashamed : “Good Morning, Gorgeous” We have published hundreds of essays on alcoholism, recovery, sex and intimacy, underlying issues, growth and progress. Maybe you love to read, but just don’t seem to find the time. We hope you’ll listen to this audio version of our latest written offering titled: “Good Morning, Gorgeous” Click here to take our survey on attraction and relat...

Sheri answers listener questions about everything from her rock-bottom moments that resulted from Matt’s alcoholism, to what she would do differently if she had the chance to do it all over again. Many answers are emotional because learning and surviving are both painful. Matt lightens things up by starting the episode with a riddle, and an analysis of why people feel unconditional love for...

New from  Sober and Unashamed : “Dudes on the Struggle Bus” We have published hundreds of essays on alcoholism, recovery, sex and intimacy, underlying issues, growth and progress. Maybe you love to read, but just don’t seem to find the time. We hope you’ll listen to this audio version of our latest written offering titled: “Dudes on the Struggle Bus” To read this and much more, check out or  Sober...

Evolutionary Psychologist Dr. Menelaos Apostolou does research around this unfortunate historical fact: Until sometime in the past 100 years, men had all the sexual power in most cultures around the world. The traditional power dynamic will come as no surprise to our listeners. However, on this episode, Sheri and Matt discuss some disturbing theoretical evolutionary impacts of that inequity that w...

New from Sober and Unashamed : “Courtesy Flush” We have published hundreds of essays on alcoholism, recovery, sex and intimacy, underlying issues, growth and progress. Maybe you love to read, but just don’t seem to find the time. We hope you’ll listen to this audio version of our latest written offering titled: “Courtesy Flush” To read this and much more, check out or  Sober and Unashamed  Blog.

We’re not rooting for divorce, we are rooting for people to be treated with respect. And in the absence of respect, we are rooting for people to extract themselves from a toxic situation. After they talk through all the relationship problems in recovery, Matt the Gnat makes plans to haul around Sheri’s Cat Cuddle Bus. If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit f...

New from the Underlying Issues Series on  Sober and Unashamed : “(Un)Lone Bone” We have published hundreds of essays on alcoholism, recovery, sex and intimacy, underlying issues, growth and progress. Maybe you love to read, but just don’t seem to find the time. We hope you’ll listen to this audio version of our latest written offering titled: “(Un)Lone Bone” To read this and much more, check out o...

Maybe people don’t need more instruction about how to do resentment processing. What people need is an acknowledgement of their fear of resentment processing. The fear is quite real, and Sheri and Matt talk all about it. If you would like to vote on the name for Sheri’s cat truck business, please email matt@SoberAndUnashamed.com and choose between the finalists: Cat Cuddle Bus and Tiny...

New from the Underlying Issues Series on  Sober and Unashamed : “Bitch” We have published hundreds of essays on alcoholism, recovery, sex and intimacy, underlying issues, growth and progress. Maybe you love to read, but just don’t seem to find the time. We hope you’ll listen to this audio version of our latest written offering titled: “Bitch” To read this and much more, check out or  Sober and Una...

Amber Hollingsworth makes her fourth appearance on the podcast to talk about how she developed her innovative approach to addiction recovery that involves both the substance user and the family members. As a licensed addiction counselor with over two decades of experience, if you like what Amber has to say, please check out her Put the Shovel Down YouTube channel. If you love or loved an alcoholic...

Amber Hollingsworth is a licensed addiction counselor who has been working with individuals and families struggling with addiction since 2004. She hosts and produces one of the most valuable resources in the recovery community, the  Put the Shovel Down YouTube channel. About Soberlink, Amber says, “It is the most effective tool out there for getting someone sober and keeping them sober. More...

New from the Underlying Issues Series on  Sober and Unashamed : “Marriage Rash” We have published hundreds of essays on alcoholism, recovery, sex and intimacy, underlying issues, growth and progress. Maybe you love to read, but just don’t seem to find the time. We hope you’ll listen to this audio version of our latest written offering titled: “Marriage Rash” To read this and much more, check out o...

“There’s always a but when you’re dealing with an ass.” Sheri explains Matt’s reluctance to seek sobriety support for his active alcoholism. If you hesitate to ask for help, if your partner refuses to engage with a program, or if Sheri’s instant-classic quote resonates for you, please give this episode a listen. Here are the two links promised for the show notes...

New from the Underlying Issues Series on Sober and Unashamed : “Keep My Food Out of Your Mouth” We have published hundreds of essays on alcoholism, recovery, sex and intimacy, underlying issues, growth and progress. Maybe you love to read, but just don’t seem to find the time. We hope you’ll listen to this audio version of our latest written offering titled: “Keep My Food Out of Your Mouth” To rea...

Live from the 2025 Echoes of Recovery retreat along Bear Creek in the Rocky Mountains our roundtable discusses the challenges of putting their confidence that their partners’ drinking is problematic into the right action steps. It is difficult. It is a process. Please listen if you could use some tips on putting knowing into action. If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could...

New from  Sober and Unashamed : “Do You See What I See?” We have published hundreds of essays on alcoholism, recovery, sex and intimacy, underlying issues, growth and progress. Maybe you love to read, but just don’t seem to find the time. We hope you’ll listen to this audio version of our latest written offering titled: “Do You See What I See?” To read this and much more, check out or  Sober and U...

Unfiltered and unprepped, Sheri answers a wide range of emotional and tactical questions about how she navigated Matt’s alcoholism and sobriety, and what she might have done if faced with different circumstances. Sheri earns here elite preferred status on this episode. If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check...

New from  Sober and Unashamed : “Insignificance” Maybe you are unaware of our hundreds of essays on alcoholism, recovery, sex and intimacy, underlying issues, growth and progress. Or maybe you love to read, but just don’t seem to find the time. We hope you’ll listen to our latest written offering titled: “Insignificance” To read this and much more, check out or  Sober and Unashamed  Blog.

We talked about the decision to stay or to go on Ep69. Ep214 and 217 were both roundtable episodes with people who had separated and divorced. On the flip side, Ep242 and 243 were roundtables featuring people who had decided to stay in their relationships. This episode is a twist on all of those discussions. The Ep302 roundtable tackles the topic of therapeutic temporary separation with the intent...

Foreplay is often thought of as erotic touch intended for sexual stimulation. Sheri and Matt have conducted research with thirteen couples recovering their partnerships from alcoholism. The research indicates that establishing emotional intimacy in a relationship might be a much more effective form of foreplay with the potential to improve sexual satisfaction by 40%. That’s a big number. If...

New from  Sober and Unashamed : “An Open Letter to My Children” Maybe you are unaware of our hundreds of essays on alcoholism, recovery, sex and intimacy, underlying issues, growth and progress. Or maybe you love to read, but just don’t seem to find the time. We hope you’ll listen to our latest written offering titled: “An Open Letter to My Children” To read this and much more, check out or  Sober...

The Hummingbird Ninjas are the OGs of the Echoes of Recovery program – our support group for the loved ones of alcoholics. This reunion roundtable episode is an update on their progress in growth and discovery since their attendance at the first ever Echoes of Recovery live retreat in the summer of 2022 where they recorded Ep150 . The changes are amazing. These women are thriving – som...

New from  Sober and Unashamed : “Dance Like Everybody’s Watching” Maybe you are unaware of our hundreds of essays on alcoholism, recovery, sex and intimacy, underlying issues, growth and progress. Or maybe you love to read, but just don’t seem to find the time. We hope you’ll listen to our latest written offering titled: “Dance Like Everybody’s Watching” To read this and much more, che...

Doing the hard work of recovery, for the former drinker and the partner, is how we reduce anxiety, regulate our nervous systems, start to rebuild trust, and grow to our potential. There is no bigger gift to our families than to prioritize our recoveries. Sheri and Matt discuss things that do not prioritize recovery work, and are, therefore, total crap. They also talk about ear hair and porn and Sh...