Raised By Borderline

This episode is based on the very first video I’ve made on how I use EFT to regulate myself. It’s about my first dog and her death. The general idea is to show you what it looks like when you start tapping: which points you tap and what words or phrases you might use. What you find on the internet is, I would say, quite generic most of the time. I mean, the words there kind of fit everyone, right?...

When you get interested in EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques), an EFT practitioner will ask you to make a list. A list of all the sins you’ve done in your life. No, I’m kidding 😂. They will ask you to make something called the #PersonalPeaceProcedure, a tool created by Gary Craig, the founder of EFT. I always wonder why it’s called “Procedure”. It sounds so surgeon clean. Unemotional, unhuman. Ho...

Today I want to talk about a subject I think comes up constantly in therapy, and honestly not just in therapy — anywhere people are talking about healing your past. There are three sentences I keep coming back to. The first one is: it’s not about you . The second one is: they’re just being themselves . The third one is: they’re not aware of what they’re doing . This is a public episode. If you wou...

That sounds a lot like when my mum had her “dips” when I was a child. She would take pills and sleep all day. Everyone was tiptoeing around so that she could sleep as long as possible, as only then it was peaceful and quiet… No arguments. We could do what we wanted, but silently. That basically meant I was alone in my room not breathing, watching TV or doing homework in silence, or sneaking out of...

For written version please check here “(…)My dad: “That’s the way it is.”My ex: “This is normal.”My dad: “I still love her” (even though she causes you pain and distress)My ex: “You want me to end the friendship with her?! We’ve known each other for 15 years!” (even though it’s putting stress on the current relationship). My dad controlled my feelings and reactions. I was easier to control than my...

- Why do they get angry with me when I set the boundaries, why do they say I am stubborn and will always be alone/never meet a man if I don’t change and be more “do what I say” type? - Why do they try to break me - sometimes I feel that they’re with me and see me as a challenge: “let’s see if we can get her self-confidence down, break her, see her crying on her knees so that she depends on us and...

"I was 36 when I heard from a psychologist, “It sounds like your mum has Borderline Personality Disorder. Read this book: “Stop walking on eggshells.”” And that was it. It was our 10th and last session." This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit raisedbyborderline.substack.com

“We hope, one day, to have a loving romantic relationship with our partner. We hope, one day, they will have a change of heart and realise what kind of emotional and/or physical hurt they have caused us. ​We hope they will see how wonderful we are, worthy of their love and appreciation. This hope keeps us from seeing the painful reality, that our partner will not, and does not want to, change. The...

1. New name: Raised By Borderline I’ve changed the name of the blog/podcast from LoveYourLifeAgain to RaisedByBorderline as I think this reflects better what this blog/podcast is about, what I’ve been through, who I work with, and it’s easier to remember the name of the publications and my website. 2. Disappointment - my second skin. Was this how I picked my partners? 😳. I could pick the bad boy...

For written version, please click here . “People talk about creating your own reality. But not as children. As a child, you come to other people’s reality, and your job is to survive, long enough to be able to create your own. We make decisions about ourselves, quite early, then we bury them, and they are there for so long, that we believe that that’s the way we are, that’s the way things are. You...

I was born into a reality of my parents: my mum with Borderline Personality Disorder, and my dad, Master of Ignorance. I would yell, argue and fight back my mum, who was treating me like rubbish. I'd fight for myself since I was a 5-year-old… This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit raisedbyborderline.substack.com

Audio version of a post under the same title . “It doesn't matter what it is, they just want you to listen and just to be the ear. From my own experience, it's not even that you have to listen, it’s about you being there. You can just let it in through one ear and let out through the other. You can just let it go around you. If you talk on the phone, you can have it on speaker, and you can cook yo...

Audio version of the post under the same title, that you can read here . “I'm really sorry that it's like that. I really wish it was much easier, but it's not. And it's not your fault. If you grew up with a borderline parent or emotional, immature, unstable, unavailable, and narcissistic parent, you were born into a situation. And this situation did things to you on the inside. It shaped you on th...

So, how does it look like when you relive your trauma? Especially that you’re not aware that anything traumatic happened to you early in your life. You don’t realise there is a pattern, but feel that certain situations and people keep coming back into your life, in different form. You might think, “Why is this keep happening to me? Why do I keep meeting this kind of people? People I can’t trust or...

Audio version of the post under the same title: Do you like my Substack? I publish my posts/podcast once a month, usually 🤭 . A month is long enough to forget to check my blog for new posts. If you'd like to stay in touch, please leave your email. The subscription is for free. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit...

Audio version to my post series “Living with a borderline parent” on Substack, under the same title. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit raisedbyborderline.substack.com

Audio version of my first post on Substack, under the same title. For those of you, how prefer listening while doing their dishes, like me :). This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit raisedbyborderline.substack.com