Mmm I Like This

Miss us last week? Just a HINT of research would have shown that there are still WEEKS to come for what feels like the longest season in Bachelor history to be OVER. With that said, Bienvenidos!! We arrive in Mexico, presumably STEPS from Sayulita's BiP resort and we couldn't be sweatier. This week, Rachel and Gabby finally "get it in" and strengthen those connections in prep for a proposal! ...

One week to go before we see.. maybe one man propose!!  This week, the men get back together to bully Roby back into his place, worship Nate's respect for women, and Meatball continues to... nail home what his name means.. like we get it.  Jess, Thomas, and Joel dig DEEP in their social skills to talk about one of the most boring Tell Alls in Bachelor history, and yet again.. Rachel disa...

Get your tissues ready, fam, we're in for a ROUGH week here. Thomas and Joel take the reigns this week while Jess goes and touches grass!  Hometowns are this week, and boy oh boy are we in for some DARK subject matter. It's difficult when your love language is words of affirmation but you're trying to break up with someone, are we right, Rachel? Johnny shows us that maybe his hair is just a F...

Hallo, Amsterdam! We've got canals, we've got tulips, we've got clogs, and we've got windmills which seem to be all that Americans think exists in The Netherlands. Thomas continues to drool over Tyler and his perfect body, while Jess and Joel lean in another direction.  This week, Gabby SHOCKS us with an unexpected break-up and Rachel continues her good fashion streak and we couldn't be more...

Oh how the tables have turned! This week, Jess, Joel, and Thomas REVEL in Rachel's long-awaited glow-up. Make-up? On point. Hair? On point. LOOKS? This bitch got it on LOCK now. We couldn't be prouder. We arrive in Bruges and enjoy all that Belgium has to offer! Which ABC thinks is.. only chocolate. Oh, also L*gan is here and thinks this season is about him which, if we weren't mistaken, is not co...

Bonjour! We're here to do everything stereotypically French in Paris this week! First trip of the season!! And it's... an empty cruise ship!! Thomas, Jess, and Joel finally get into the thick of these contenders for the ladies' hearts and audibly GASP at Tyler's body and we are here for it. The pride we feel in Rachel finally hitting her fashion stride is unparalleled (except by Gabby's rose cerem...

What a week for women's rights! Thomas, Jess, and Joel sit down to dissect the power dynamic in this season and scream at ABC's choices as a network. The women finally take back the power.. sort of, and we lose some hotties from the house of men. Diet Coke Grocery Store Joe makes some BOLD statements (according to Gabby), and Erich has the worst first date of his life. How fun for us all! Hit us u...

The trio is all back together! What a.. slow? week? Gabby & Rachel start their 1 on 1's and Rachel lives in disappointment from her own preconceived expectations. These girls stand up against the QUICKEST in and out villain of the last few seasons, and Rachel finally looks good in clothes provided to her from the presumably DISRESPECTFUL wardrobe crew. Feeling blessed to finally know the men's...

Miss us? Don't remember us? WELL WE'RE BACK! Thomas & Jess, and now FULL-TIME co-host, Joel are back to make off-colour comments about your favourite mid-western white women, men, and anyone else in between. This week, Joel and Thomas kick-start the new season with the "never in history ever dramatic blah" DOUBLE Bachelorettes!  Tune in for mediocre men, Thomas flip-flopping like no one's...

It WAS Paradise! This week, Thomas and Jess reminisce over the season, say goodbye to some "strong" couples, and question Becca's taste in men. Ed really tries his best to f*ck Mykenna before the day is done and Anna get's heartbroken AGAIN. What a run we had. Who would have thought by the end of this season of Paradise we would have THREE engaged couples, and Kenny was in one of them. Wild times....

This week, Joel fills in for Jess and James & Anna turn into human churros? Tensions are high as Paradise starts to come to a close. Who will stay together? Who will leave Paradise single? Who will wash their feet? Not Becca, that's for sure. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This week, the cancer of Paradise is gone! Thomas and Jess assess Ed's level of hotness and where he stands on the list of Paradise men. Coming in this late isn't easy for Demar and Ed! Mari and Kenny have the most disgusting food themed date we've ever seen, and a storm brews in Paradise. We aren't just talking about the weather. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

MISSED US? Don't fret, we're still here! After some very busy personal/work lives, Thomas and Jess and are back and ready to dissect what can only be described as the two worst men to ever be on reality tv. This week, our two favourite hosts go over three BiP episodes with the heaviest cloud to ever hang over Paradise. The ONLY rule of Bachelor is: BE SINGLE! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy...

What a week!! Love triangles begin to surface as Tammy learns her actions have consequences. "Chad and Brad" come in to shake up the secure couples, and Mari shows her age (ass) real quick. Birthdays, drama, ex-bachelorettes, and boring southerners coming at ya!  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

WHEW! It is S T E A M Y this week! Thomas and Jess are absolutely FLOORED with the palpable sexual tension in the air. We have Demi, we have Thomas, we have Riley, it is SPICY y'all! Rose ceremonies, tears, pathetic desperate attempts to stay.. it's all there!! First night in the "boom boom room" who is it gonna be? I guess you'll just have to listen to find out! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/pri...

Paradise is back baby! We couldn't be more thrilled. This week, Thomas and Jess get overwhelmed with 23 contestants on the first day, *someone* turns on Abigail, and there is a record number of first night makeouts. Get ready for an explosive season of love triangles, "Goddesses," and naked 40 year olds. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We are here to refresh you pre-BiP launch! Can you believe it? This week, Thomas and Jess are graced by Joel's presence for a tipsy finale to end all seasons. What's the aftermath of the Gregxit? Why is Blake so hot to us? These are the hard hitting questions your wonderful hosts answer on this extra long final episode of Katie's season. Buckle up. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more i...

WHAT A WEEK!!!! Are you a mess? We're a mess! This week, Thomas and Jess go over "hometowns." Thomas continuously drags production for their lack of effort in Canadian representation, Jess turns on Greg, and both of them completely forget about Justin. Still missing Michael A....  What does Greg's dramatic leave mean for Blake (and Justin)? We have more one week until we find out! Hosted on A...

This week all of our hearts break at Michael A choosing his own family over Katie. Can't relate. Thomas and Jess are fully blown away at the audacity of Connor to make out with a random during COVID and gush over Andrew's Bachelor audition. We are mere WEEKS away from BiP. Can. Not. Wait. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Jess is back y'all! This week we get down to the wire and Katie gets to her final 4! Thomas and Jess finally know everyone's names this week, and they break down the last group date of the season! Another perfect episode format comin' at you! So close to BiP.. Thomas and Jess are foaming at the bit for Paradise.  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Put your ear plugs in because this week Thomas is joined by fellow loud gay, Joel! The glue that holds Jess and Thomas together joins us this week to fill in for the irreplaceable hostess. What a week for Joel to join, too, as queer excellence Shea Coulee and Monet X Change help Katie decipher who is here for her and who is a short liar with bad tattoos (looking at you, Hunter.) The perfect episod...

The DREAM episode!! This week, Thomas and Jess revel in the perfect episode format. Two 1 on 1s and a group date with a rose ceremony to cap it off? Iconic. Our wonderful hosts break down if they truly like Blake or not and things get hot when the men get physical on this week's group date. Finally we don't have to ask "who is that?" about the boys in the back row anymore.  Hosted on Acast. S...

Your Bachelor audition ends here! This week, Thomas and Jess analyze Thomas (the contestant) and his WILD body language/newly created vocabulary, Tayshia's multiple appearances sends Thomas (the host) off the deep end, and both of them become Blake fans?  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Buckle up and get the tissues ready because we are CRYING this week. Thomas and Jess join the group therapy session, deeply analyze Thomas (the contestant) and his ability to literally say nothing while spewing out a paragraph of words, and BOTH cry at Michael's excitement to "experience love twice." Michael A for Bachelor. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We're in it!! Katie's first 1 on 1. This week, Thomas continues to be bored by the white dudes, BOTH Jess and Thomas drool over Aaron as usual, and Karl proves to be the most insufferable contestant on this season. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.