It's Embert

In Season 4, Episode 41 , Embert rants his way through a traumatic lunch at a modern restaurant that promised him a “burger” and delivered botanical sadness. In this episode: Embert battles the “plant-forward” movement A waiter’s eyebrows spark a war Grandson tries (and fails) to defend quinoa as an entrée And the zinger of the day: “If your patty has a soul cycle membership, it’s not a burger.” I...

In Season 4, Episode 40 , Embert delivers a furious—but somehow elegant—takedown of modern mail. From digital tracking nightmares to package pickup purgatory, nothing escapes his wrath. In this episode: Embert fights with a QR code A grandson learns never to say “just go online” again The post office gets roasted for being a bureaucratic escape room And the line of the day: “I don’t want to scan a...

In Season 4, Episode 39 , Embert laments the slow death of public park decency—where once you found peace, now you find shirtless bros, wild children, and live music nobody asked for. This episode includes: A roast of “flow-state” joggers Embert’s brush with a rogue scooter Nostalgia for wooden benches and duck respect And the line of the episode: “If your child is feeding ducks Cheez-Its while sc...

In Season 4, Episode 38 , Embert wages war on the ever-expanding tipping culture that’s turned every interaction into a charity drive. From takeout windows to digital kiosks, everyone wants a slice of your conscience—and Embert’s not having it. Expect: A takedown of digital guilt tipping A story about Embert’s grandson tipping for a smile Rants about tip buttons being bigger than the “decline” opt...

In Season 4, Episode 37 , Embert tackles the high-tech horror show that grocery stores have become. He just wanted lettuce—and ended up needing a tutorial and a charging cable. This episode includes: A rant against self-checkout tyranny The tragedy of Dolores the cashier’s disappearance Loyalty programs that feel like surveillance operations And the line of the day: “If I need a QR code to feed my...

In Season 4, Episode 36 , Embert recounts his night at a local “paint-your-own-pottery” event—and it's as chaotic as you’d expect. This episode delivers: A takedown of forced whimsy and performative joy An encounter with a man who probably owns three didgeridoos The story of a rainbow cat mug that nearly broke Embert’s spirit And the quote of the night: “If a ceramic owl speaks to me, I’m thro...

In Season 4, Episode 35 , Embert reflects on the days when parents weren’t afraid to parent—and kids actually respected authority. Expect: A hilarious (and slightly terrifying) story about being grounded for blinking wrong A roast of modern parenting negotiations Embert’s take on “boundaries” and why his grandson needs a manual labor internship And the quote of the episode: “We didn’t need time-ou...

In Season 4, Episode 34 , Embert tackles the rising trend of calling men “mothers” during Pride Month campaigns, and he’s not having it. You’ll hear: A no-nonsense breakdown of what makes a mother A fiery response to corporate virtue signaling A brutal (but hilarious) takedown of his grandson’s argument And a classic Embert warning: “If you rewrite reality long enough, it’ll eventually return the...

In Season 4, Episode 33 , Embert unleashes a full wardrobe intervention for the modern age. From glitter Crocs to cryptic t-shirts, nothing is safe. Inside: A takedown of “aesthetics” that make no seasonal sense A call for bringing back clothing categories A showdown with a shirt that might be a cry for help And Embert’s new fashion advice: “Stop looking like a walking panic attack.” If you’ve eve...

In Season 4, Episode 32 , Embert unleashes a full-force tirade on the downfall of public behavior. You’ll get: A meltdown about FaceTiming in grocery stores A dental office phone call gone too far A courtroom tank top incident And the unforgettable line: “In my day, your truth didn’t matter if your manners were missing.” If you’ve ever witnessed someone flossing on a bus or clipping their toenails...

In Season 4, Episode 31 , Embert calls out the modern trend of demanding respect without earning it. From job interviews with flip-flops to expired coupon meltdowns, he’s had enough of the “I’m owed” mindset. Inside this episode: A rant about entitlement culture A story about his “structurally confused” feet The difference between kindness and obligation And a clear message: “Respect is earned. No...

In Season 4, Episode 30 , Embert lights into the modern misuse of the word burnout , calling out how laziness and emotional softness have been rebranded as heroic exhaustion. What’s inside: The difference between true burnout and being inconvenienced A savage takedown of “burnout influencers” A rant about his grandson’s “creative fatigue” And the reminder: “Being tired isn’t special. It’s Tuesday....

In Season 4, Episode 29 , Embert takes on the age of oversharing, calling out the obsession with turning private life into public spectacle. What to expect: A scorching roast of social media trauma competitions A story about a lawn mower, a lightning storm, and one cousin who never got forgiven A rant about the difference between vulnerability and attention-seeking And this gem: “Some things aren’...

In Season 4, Episode 28 , Embert rolls his eyes straight through the modern obsession with being “uniquely broken” . He takes aim at the way people mistake attention for validation and confuse relatability with depth. You’ll hear: A rant about “neurospicy” sandwich confusion Embert’s grandson inventing trauma for social points A Target oat milk meltdown And this Embert classic: “You're not spe...

In Season 4, Episode 27 , Embert tackles the growing confusion between being nice and being good . He reminds listeners that smiling, nodding, and avoiding conflict doesn’t make you moral—it makes you quiet . And the world doesn’t need more of that. What you’ll hear: Embert’s story about Barbara the overly polite but completely useless toaster A roast of fake kindness, tone policing, and “supporti...

In Season 4, Episode 26 , Embert tackles the culture of identity-as-achievement with his usual blend of wisdom, irritation, and side-rants that may or may not end where they start. This episode includes: A reality check on why who you are isn’t the same as what you’ve done Embert roasting people who list their personality traits like job experience A call to stop branding your emotions and start b...

In Season 4, Episode 25 , Embert takes down the modern obsession with “my truth” —especially when it’s used to cover up, excuse, or distort reality. With sharp humor, a few off-topic stories (including one about W-4 forms and emotional meltdowns), and that classic Embert sting, this episode is a wake-up call for a culture drowning in curated dishonesty. Inside this episode: The difference between...

In Season 4, Episode 24 , Embert takes on the overuse, misuse, and abuse of the word anxiety . With brutal honesty, old-man wisdom, and a few stumbles into stories that go nowhere, he makes the case that a lot of people don’t need therapy—they need structure, honesty, and fewer late-night bagel bites. This episode features: A roast of performative anxiety culture and “overwhelm” syndrome Embert’s...

In Season 4, Episode 23 , Embert pushes back against a culture that treats every mistake like a sin and every awkward opinion like an act of war. With his usual mix of cranky wisdom and hilarious detours (including one about duct-taped Buicks), he reminds us of something important: you can be wrong without being evil. This episode covers: Why curiosity is being crushed by judgment Embert’s grandso...

In Season 4, Episode 22 , Embert delivers a fiery, heartfelt Memorial Day message the world desperately needs. With a mix of raw patriotism, sharp humor, and old-school scolding, he reminds listeners what this holiday is really about—and who it’s for. This episode features: A touching and hilarious tribute to Benny, a fellow soldier and turkey thief A roast of modern Memorial Day “celebrations” in...

In Season 4, Episode 21 , Embert tackles the modern trend of calling everyone brave, heroic, or extraordinary simply for existing. With his usual mix of sarcasm, old-school grit, and distracted rants (including one about pliers, a neighbor named Ron, and a completely unrelated fishing trip), he reminds us what real heroism looks like—and why it actually matters . This episode includes: A sharp cri...

In Season 4, Episode 20 , Embert laments the death of grit and the rise of the replacement mindset . From broken blenders to broken bonds, everything today gets tossed at the first sign of trouble—and he’s here to say: not everything needs to be replaced. Some things need to be repaired. This episode features: Embert’s take on why relationships, jobs, and toasters used to last longer A roast of pe...

n Season 4, Episode 19 , Embert sounds the alarm on the “safe space” generation—and not because he’s against support, but because he remembers when strength was the goal . This episode is a rally cry to bring back standards, personal accountability, and the kind of discomfort that used to build you , not break you. What’s inside: A roast of sensory rooms, healing hubs, and college cry zones Embert...

In Season 4, Episode 18 , Embert turns his attention to the loudest plague of the modern age: everyone thinking their opinion is sacred. With a mix of frustration, forgotten anecdotes, and strong black coffee energy, he reminds us that not everything needs your input—and definitely not your input, if you haven’t done your homework. This episode covers: Why silence is underrated Embert’s grandson l...

In Season 4, Episode 17 , Embert takes a flamethrower to the growing belief that being offended automatically makes you right . In a world where emotional reactions are mistaken for moral superiority, Embert delivers a reminder that feelings aren’t facts—and offense is not a credential. This episode covers: The weaponization of outrage Why “your truth” doesn’t override the truth A roast of cancel...