Generation Artax

In this episode, Terri gets into a tussle with a 90-year-old in the laundry room and quickly defuses the situation. Lori credits Eat Pray Love with her emotional regulation. Why you should never keep a compliment to yourself. Plus: Kim failed her history test. Does she let it ruin her day? Not a chance. Welcome to Generation Artax.  Lori's ancient dog Marty Terri worries about the grid going down...

Remember simpler times when your biggest fear about a guy was that he wouldn't be hot? In this episode, we go back to 1996 when Lori meets a man "on the computer" and thinks it's a good idea to keep him a secret. Because that usually works out. Plus: Terri sleeps with the same guy twice and doesn't realize it; Lori takes Judge Judy obsession to a new level; and the endless fascination with Lillipu...

It took years, but at long last, Kim is popular at camp (and any surprise? Named Camper of the Week). In this episode, we relive the fever dream that was day camp in the 80s, complete with capture the flag, hook tag, and camp songs burned into our brains. Terri shares a letter from a very sad older guy who will never stop loving her. Plus: Kim does qigong, Lori tries puppy yoga, and Terri likes ri...

Think Kim's sweet as pie? Think again. When Kim unearths a letter from her emo boyfriend in 1994, she finds clear evidence that she, too, can be cold as ice. Also, she's really sorry about that. Lori is told she has no chance with Robert, weeps into a journal about it and then berates herself later. Drama at the H.O.R.D.E Festival, what it means to be grown up, and do we look like our names or no?...

In case you think our sister relationship has been a unicorn dream, you might want to read Kim's entry from 1991. Because as it turns out, she dreads the minute Terri comes home from college. Why? Because she throws off the vibes and fucks up Kim's friend dynamic. Plus, Terri writes Lori a motivational letter she didn't ask for, sophomore year of high school is lackluster, and a contraption for re...

We kick off this episode with fears of the ocean, specifically: submerged objects, huge waves, and Hudson River ferries. On the tech front, Kim's a big fan of early-days electronic mail and Terri saves her breakup letter as a template for future use. Plus: tanning beds, spring break, and what to order at a diner at night. Also, can we just say it? Lunch sucks. Welcome to Generation Artax. Terri's...

OMG we're back again! Terri revisits the 90s at the Backstreet Boys in Vegas. Kim and Lori move our dad into an assisted living facility, which is giving strong cruise ship vibes. Then we go back in time to Lori's melodramatic entry from 1991 when she decides her love train has left the station. Fun fact: Terri's first few makeouts were with people named Jason. Want to play Spin the Bottle? Meh. W...

Need furniture assembled? Call Lori. She's got IKEA-level IQ. Also, they shouldn't call it a blow job because the term is misleading for beginners. Kim cuts her foot up real bad, Lori works on her memory, Terri writes Kim a letter in 1988 that sounds as if it's from overseas. By the way,  does anyone remember Splashdance? Welcome to Generation Artax. Also in this episode: Lori's IQ says she's good...

No one is surprised when Kim is elected Social Council President, but it is odd that she goes on the road to do PR work for the school. Also in this episode: Terri writes Kim a poem in rhyming couplets. Why building a fort is a critical rite of passage. Kim sneaks out to get felt up; Lori misses curfew, and Terri does the unthinkable in public. Welcome to Generation Artax.  Other times we got into...

After graduating from Boston College Magna Cum Laude, what does a girl do? Pick up work as a cage dancer, of course. (Her mother was so proud.) Lori makes a gruesome discovery in her kitchen, Kim shares an email she sent from the computer lab, and Terri cries on prom night. Welcome to Generation Artax.  Whoops! We f'd up the second half of the show so we re-record it the next morning at 7am.  Terr...

We're excited that this is our 40th episode — and it's been one year since we even had the idea to do a podcast. This time, we hark back to the early 90s, and pour one out for our great Aunt Helen. Plus: Crooner revue! Lori does impressions of Cher, Judy Garland, and more. Terri has a Kevin Bacon sighting, and we all agree that VR headsets are nauseating. Welcome to Generation Artax.   Also in thi...

Lori decides in the 90s that sex sucks and it's never going to get any better. Let's go over the details of the Sesame Place incident, the cactus incident, and the other assorted injuries Kim has suffered over the years. Plus: Truth or dare, Lori is a crank, and why Kim hates it when Terri takes over and ruins the fun. Welcome to Generation Artax. Terri looks like a wacky childless aunt Kim makes...

Kim and Lori recently traveled to Peekskill, NY (where Blair, Natalie, Tootie, and Jo went to school), to see Bashar, that great oracle who's big on the TikTok. Lori learns more about ancient civilizations, Terri recalls her days heading up the Publicity Club senior year, and Kim enjoys her asiago afterglow. Also, don't forget to check out Lori's new bangs. Welcome to Generation Artax.  Also in th...

Guess what? Lori got married (again)! Get the scoop on what went down at the wedding. We have thoughts about Disclosure Day and aliens in general. Also, Mary Poppins is a witch and we never realized it. Plus: We commit cultural appropriation in the 90s, Kim misses her boyfriend, and Lori sprouts pubic hair. Welcome to Generation Artax. The scoop on Lori's wedding and how weather didn't just cooper...

If you ever asked yourself, "When DID Lori get to third base," this episode is for you. Did she like it? Spoiler alert: No. Though we can't be sure, because Lori admits she has committed lies of omission. Also: If you take someone's virginity, do you get to keep it? Also: mammograms were designed by men, April Fools is traumatizing, and Terri indulges a jealous fantasy. It's time to travel to the...

Lori always had a prom date, but not until the day of. And that's how we know deadlines work. Terri goes away for a weekend and loses her boyfriend overnight, what Some Kind of Wonderful got right (and wrong), and is it us or was Three's Company kinda fucked up? Plus: How we all side with the parents in 80s movies now. Welcome to Generation Artax. Also in this episode: Shoe horns Summer I turned p...

Terri landed her first legit boyfriend senior year of high school in the fall of 1990, setting an epic drama in motion. Kim pens a Victorian letter to Lori reminding her she's not ugly. Plus: Lori's given up on jewelry, Terri is obsessed with making it, and Kim doesn't want any of her jewelry to change, ever. Also, could someone please throw Terri a word of affirmation? Welcome to Generation Artax...

In this episode, you'll only hear two stories about car accidents, because Kim is perfect and never makes mistakes. Lori airs her discomfort about a certain Michael Jackson video, as well as a Looney Tunes character who tried to make assault look endearing. Also: Lori believes she's from the year 3,000 A.D., Kim has magical powers she'd like to use only occasionally, and Terri is stymied by simple...

Is it watermelon season yet? And is that a tick Lori just found in her hair? Yes and yes. In this episode, Terri is on the Edge of Seventeen, Kim is lacking boyfriend bandwidth, and Lori wants to be a weather girl, but she will not say the word "Middlesex" when referring to the county. Then we all pile on the would-be heroines of 90s romcoms who can frankly fuck alllll the way off. Welcome to Gene...

Strap in for stories from the 90s, including how Lori makes a pledge to be nice to everyone freshman year and has a kind of Buddhist epiphany. Plus: Terri's love life is thrown into chaos by geopolitics in 1990. Question: Does being in love make you better looking? (Kinda.) In Unrelated: If you could be beamed anywhere for 10 minutes every week, where would you go? Welcome to Generation Artax. Ter...

How did we sleep on Flashdance and Judge Judy? Not anymore. Also in this episode: Are we all doing our own pedicures now? Does Terri have ADHD? Maybe. Plus: Kim's eighth-grade boyfriend thinks she's a snob. In Unrelated, what job would you have if things were different? Welcome to Generation Artax. In this episode: No one has seen Flashdance, except Terri who forgot to finish it.  Lori is obsessed...

How many times have YOU watched Jim Henson's funeral? Because Kim has it on a loop. Also in this episode, Kim checks her own receipts and turns out she has been telling her own HS breakup story inaccurately. Lori nearly chokes out a girl in the hallway between periods and at one point throws a chair. Also: Games we find triggering and words we hate so much we can barely speak them aloud. Welcome t...

In this episode, Lori waxes darkly poetic about how she's no one's type. Kim writes a letter to Terri on her 16th birthday, outlining all the ways she's a perfect teenager—including her solid physical shape—then goes back to talking about awesome next summer will be. In Unrelated: big fish, small fish, and podcast goals. Welcome to Generation Artax. Lori is no one's type, doesn't want to be cool,...

We kick off this episode with burning questions about when exactly the aliens are coming. Then, flash back to 1992 when Terri writes to Kim from college about what a big player she is now. Then, cut to 1995 for a serious plot twist when Terri makes out with her best friend…and it doesn't go well. In Unrelated: Don't hate the player. Hate the game. Welcome to Generation Artax. Alien overlords vs. p...

For this special Mother's Day episode, our guest is none other than…our mom! Meet Jeanne Trespicio, the woman who is responsible for, well, all of this (waves hands around vaguely). Go behind the scenes of Boomer parenting, and Jeanne's largely laissez-faire approach to: movies, TV, play dates, real dates, and taking the train to Port Authority. Plus: Kim hates meatloaf, Terri hates Kim, and littl...