ask a sub

Our Deep Dive guest this month is many things — a kink/rope organizer, an amazing friend, a top-tier emoji-reactor, and a Ask A Sub discord moderator that has been with us since the beginning of the server. Dollie and Lina talk community building and maintenance, and how they curate the best (dare we say??) kink space on the internet. Listen on  Patreon or upgrade in the Substack player. To suppor...

A sub calls in wondering how to "do" submission right, and Lina shares some wisdom about how to avoid submissive doing and embrace submissive being. To support the pod and join our thriving ask a sub community of kinky pocket friends,  Join Patreon starting at $6/month! Subscribe to the subby substack  here . See the paid post archive here . Submit questions for this podcast as voice memos to podc...

Age Play is considered by some to be one of the most taboo kinks out there, but what if it was just cute inner child work? Age play creator Baby Linh joins me to unpack misconceptions about the kink and offer solace to those who feel called toward it.   Get the full interview on  Patreon for $11/month. To support the pod and join our thriving ask a sub community of kinky pocket friends, Join Patre...

Today's episode is brought to you by our friends at Feeld, the dating app for the curious! The theme of the day is spitting it out - from feelings to actual fluids, comedian Alison Stevenson and Lina have you completely covered. With information. Just information and humor. Unless…? Follow Feeld on Instagram here , or download it using this link . To support the pod and join our thriving ask a sub...

That's me in the corner… that's me in the… somewhat challenging aftercare predicament? A listener calls in about how to engineer proper aftercare in a cucking scene, and Lina reassures them that sometimes it's ok to experiment with big feelings and occasionally get it wrong. Substack: What We Talk About When We Talk About Cucking To support the pod and join our thriving ask a sub community of kink...

Bae Leche dropped by the pod to talk about being a non-monogamous mom, dating while pregnant, and new corners of her sexuality she's discovering in the midst of parenting. Come for the fire pregnancy nudes, stay for the warm-hearted acceptance for wherever you are in your journey. Get the full interview on Patreon for $11/month. To sign up to be notified about the release of the new course - Kink...

Kink arrives in your life looking like a problem, but it's really a solution. In this episode, Lina leads a listener through the daunting moment of taking stock of your submissive fantasies with the empathy of somebody a little further down the road. Get your Sub Survival Guide for 20% off at  http://www.askasub.com/courses with code AWAKENING To support the pod and join our thriving ask a sub com...

A listener asks the age-old question of where the line is with public humiliation kinks and involving bystanders, and Lina dives in with things to consider before you go to the grocery store with the f-word written across your forehead.   Listen to Lina address the Erewhon incident on Dan Savage's podcast here .     To support the pod and join our thriving ask a sub community of kinky pocket frien...

How can you date again after a D/s relationship turns abusive? You start by dating your intuition.   To support the pod and join our thriving ask a sub community of kinky pocket friends,  Join Patreon starting at $6/month! Subscribe to the subby substack  here . See the paid post archive here . Submit questions for this podcast as voice memos to podcast@askasub.com Go here for information on how t...

A listener calls in after someone told them saying they are kinky means they are probably not looking for anything serious. Obviously this is not true, but Lina also had some thoughts on the relationship escalator, community care, and how to see people as individuals in a sex positive context.   To support the pod and join our thriving ask a sub community of kinky pocket friends,  Join Patreon sta...

I've been through some shit lately and wanted to share the ways people have supported me so you can support those in your life who are also going through shit. We will be back to our regular format next week. Love you all.   Get my essay about the miscarriage on Patreon or Substack .     To support the pod and join our thriving ask a sub community of kinky pocket friends,  Join Patreon starting at...

Disability advocate, sex toy creator, and host of Disability After Dark Andrew Gurza joins us to talk all about non-binary identity, dating while disabled, and how we can improve accessibility in kinky and queer spaces. To get this full episode, go to Patreon or Substack . For that piece of writing I was talking about get it on  Patreon or Substack .   To support the pod and join our thriving ask...

A sub is concerned that her Dom's wife is going to veto their dynamic and wonders how she can modify her behavior to make the wife more comfortable. Lina talks about which feelings we have control over (only our own) and how to give yourself grace during liminal times.     To support the pod and join our thriving ask a sub community of kinky pocket friends,  Join Patreon starting at $6/month! Subs...

So you've got somebody to do 24/7 with - great! Now how the hell do you narrow down all the options and create a bespoke practice just for you? Lina walks a listener through the buffet of options, and helps guide the process of assembling a satisfying D/s plate covered in consent gravy. To support the pod and join our thriving ask a sub community of kinky pocket friends,  Join Patreon starting at...

This week a caller on the autism spectrum and his partner with ADD wonder if there is a link between kink and neurodivergence. Let's talk about it! To support the pod and join our thriving ask a sub community of kinky pocket friends,  Join Patreon starting at $6/month! Subscribe to the subby substack  here . See the paid post archive here . Submit questions for this podcast as voice memos to podca...

Due to unforeseen circumstances (we got COVID), in lieu of this week's scheduled episode please enjoy this rerun of a season 2 favorite. Lina interviews a listener who got in touch to share the story of her custody battle with her sex-negative ex-husband, and the unexpected win that arrived at the end of her story. To support the pod and join our thriving ask a sub community of kinky pocket friend...

First Lina delivers a hot take about how women who sleep with men can become marginalized within kink, then teases out the difference between humiliation and degradation kinks while making fun of dating app bing bongs (as usual). To support the pod and join our thriving ask a sub community of kinky pocket friends,  Join Patreon starting at $6/month! Subscribe to the subby substack  here . See the...

We're back! And we're kicking purity culture in the pants!!   Get info about the Friday 1/26 Deep Dive here ! To support the pod and join our thriving ask a sub community of kinky pocket friends,  Join Patreon starting at $5/month! Subscribe to the subby substack  here . See the paid post archive here . Submit questions for this podcast as voice memos to podcast@askasub.com Go here for information...

A sub calls in asking how to make amends for past mistakes. Spoiler alert: you do not have to walk on your knees for a hundred miles through the desert repenting. Unless you're into that. To support the pod and join our thriving ask a sub community of kinky pocket friends, Join Patreon starting at $5/month! Get a year of Patreon for $50 (that's two months free!) before the rate goes up to $6 on 1/...

The words filth and perversion barely begin to scratch the surface of what's on offer in this interview with Empress Wu and her singular penchant for scenes that expand into systems that fuck gender, the body, notions of inside and outside, as well as existence itself. Here in the free preview, we discuss Wu's journey into pro-Domme work as well as her thoughts on sex work decriminalization. Paid...

A sub is concerned about sending the wrong message when telling Doms she doesn't have hard limits. What to do? To support the pod and join our thriving ask a sub community of kinky pocket friends,  Join Patreon starting at $5/month! Subscribe to the subby substack  here . See the paid post archive here . Submit questions for this podcast as voice memos to podcast@askasub.com Go here for informatio...

Bisexual polyamorous writer Gab Alexa joins me to discuss bi-erasure, queer baiting, and her spicy time at the infamous swinger's retreat Hedonism. Join Patreon at $11/month or Substack at $8/month to get the complete interview, as well as access to the archives of interviews with discussions ranging from how to find a sex positive therapist, to how to navigate your local kink scene, to the scient...

Hey, it's your real life calling! The one where you're not sleeping on an air mattress in a musty basement bracing yourself to hear your Uncle Jim's conspiracy theories at the dinner table! You -- yes you! -- used to be kinky, and that kinkiness is a superpower! Get 25% off on both Ask A Sub courses with code BOUNDARIES25 at  askasub.com/courses . Offer expires 11/29 at 11:59pm PST. To support the...

A listener wants to know the answer to a so-called googleable question - what the heck is a play party, exactly? Lina answers & gives tips on navigating these experiences once you find the right one. To support the pod and join our thriving ask a sub community of kinky pocket friends,  Join Patreon starting at $5/month!   Submit questions for this podcast as voice memos to podcast@askasub.com   Go...

Get more Folsom info from this pamphlet. Special thanks to Cactus Cult Leather, BunnyLeather.com , Sylvan and Milton, SF K9 Unit, Bay Area Open Minds, The Satanic Temple and everyone who spoke to me at Folsom!   Get my full discussion with Alex Kacha on Patreon or Substack . To support the pod and join our thriving ask a sub community of kinky pocket friends, Join Patreon starting at $5/month!   S...