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A caller wants to know if straight people are ruining kink, and Lina gets into the history of gentrification in the kink world and how well-meaning straights can use their kink for good. Also a diatribe on how Fake Doms have class-traitor vibes. Sorry it had to be said!! To support the pod and join our thriving ask a sub community of kinky pocket friends, Join Patreon starting at $6/month! Submit...

Ever wondered how to drop the news of some of your less mainstream kinks in a relationship? You know… the really head-turning ones that would shock polite company? The ones that keep you up at night googling really specific gear? The ones that pop up in your head even as you're trying to write the description of your podcast?? Well this week Lina is sharing an actionable formula for introducing yo...

Gather 'round to hear the debauched tales of connection, mutual support, and hot sex contained in the ever problematic social media boogeyman… the Age Gap Relationship!! These crowdsourced stories come from our very own AAS community and will warm your freezing cold heart, ever so briefly slake your unquenchable thirst, and perhaps expand your dating app age filters. To get the full version of thi...

Looootttttaaaaaa feelings about gender this week, huh folks? We're discussing the "gender wars," how you can assist in the political apocalypse, and how to embrace one's identity as a male submissive. To support the pod and join our thriving ask a sub community of kinky pocket friends,  Join Patreon starting at $6/month! Submit questions for this podcast by going to memo.fm/askasub and recording a...

Come one, come all, to the wholesome dumpster we raccoons cluster in also known as the Ask A Sub discord community. The community is a benefit of patreon and the reason it's so many people's favorite place on the internet is the absolutely top tier moderation and vibes-curation brought to you by our mod team. Hear the voices of the people behind the server in this exclusive interview! You know you...

A caller wants to know how to use their kinky toolkit to address a recently resurfaced memory of past trauma, and Lina gets into how kink, while not a panacea, can be supportive as we transform triggers into memories. Send in your q's at  memo.fm/askasub To support the pod and join our thriving ask a sub community of kinky pocket friends, Join Patreon starting at $6/month! Subscribe to the subby s...

C'mon guys, a tale as old as time. We've all been there - your Dom is seeing other subs, and your jealousy and the Social Media Demon have twisted the situation to be unbearable. How can we break jealousy down into more manageable components, and negotiate whether we want to deal in the first place? Lina shares from her own experience and has some ideas to tend to your tender feels. To support the...

A sub calls in wondering what to do when you've been in multiple relationships where the kink slowly vanishes over time. Are you going crazy?? No, this is a disappointingly common thing, and Lina's going to help you spin an annoying part of dating into a helpful learning experience. Send in your questions for the pod at  memo.fm/askasub . To support the pod and join our thriving ask a sub communit...

You guys — we did it — we trapped a true switch for switch poly couple with our big butterfly net and dove deep into their deeply respectful and inspiring relationship. Join us for a convo with charismatic Aussies Abbey and Liam for a tour through their individual love lives, and the love they have for fostering connections in their broader ENM community. To get the full version of this episode Jo...

Get your spot in the Conscious Kink 2 Incubator and learn more about it here . Registration ends 9/27 at 11:59pm pacific.   Get more Folsom info from  this pamphlet. Special thanks to Cactus Cult Leather,  BunnyLeather.com , Sylvan and Milton, SF K9 Unit, Bay Area Open Minds, The Satanic Temple and everyone who spoke to me at Folsom last year! Get my full discussion with Alex Kacha on  Patreon or...

We've all been there — an on again, off again dynamic that keeps us trapped in a cycle where we feel that person is the one who can unlock the sex life we really want, if only they'd switch back to "on again." In this episode we talk about the paradox of longing and how to get yourself licking new coffee cups before you know it. Get your spot in the Conscious Kink 2 Incubator and learn more about...

More and more D/s couples are having to put their dynamics on pause lately, and we want to give you the tools to find your way back to each other. This week, Lina's talking about the integral role of play in building trust and putting your whole (figurative) p*ssy into your vulnerability. ***Get your spot in the Conscious Kink 2 Incubator and learn more about it here .*** To support the pod and jo...

We talk a lot on this podcast about feeling "queer enough," and a straight passing queer couple wonders how to feel more at home in queer spaces. Lina affirms that they're allowed to be there, and anyone whose opinion is worth considering is probably just thinking they're hot. Fewer queer cops, more queer fucking!!! To support the pod and join our thriving ask a sub community of kinky pocket frien...

Writer, educatrix, and all around kink community badass Tina Horn joined us to talk all about hardcore kinks and fetishes and how we sort kinks into this category. Her new book Why Are People Into That?! is out now wherever books are sold. To get the full version of this episode Join Patreon at $11/month or substack at $8/month. Submit questions for this podcast as voice memos to podcast@askasub.c...

GENDER!! Ever hear of it?! Lina's popping off on the presidential election, right-wing weird shit, and the subtle leak of conspirituality-adjacent terms like 'divine masculine & feminine' into sex education spaces. She also goes into why her submission doesn't feel feminine, but an intense space to reckon with the masculine. Controversial? Probably!   To support the pod and join our thriving ask a...

In a transmission from God's hot car, Lina discusses the relationship between kink and chronic pain, and advises a Spoonie who's playing with a doctor to enjoy the free medical care without shame. To support the pod and join our thriving ask a sub community of kinky pocket friends,  Join Patreon starting at $6/month! Subscribe to the subby substack  here . See the paid post archive here . Submit q...

We all know about Fake Doms, people on dating apps who co-opt the language of BDSM to push a misogynistic agenda, but what about when the messaging of manipulation is more subtle, and even uses sex positive language to confuse subs? Enter: Fake Dom 2.0. In this episode, Lina shares signs you may be dealing with a Fake Dom 2.0, vetting questions to try to weed them out, and solace for those who hav...

Why are subs and kinky people so prone to tripping out on what the future could be? Well, as the saying goes, subs plan and Doms laugh at our anticipatory anxiety. Lina also discusses how marriage and society are a weird mindf*%k combo to navigate (and not always in the nice way), and how we all need more space to increase our capacity for change and ability to accept more things into our orifices...

Dogs and cats, living together, mass hysteria! When can a sub be a Dom? A caller wants to know when their Dommy tendencies qualify them to start switchin', and how their neurodivergent brain can deal with the ambiguity. Answer? BDSM loves getting all up in your cracks to make you stretch all the parts of yourself. Just don't forget the lube. The lube is you loving yourself. To support the pod and...

In this preview of Deep Dive, Lina chats with Casey Tanner, @queersextherapy, about their new book Feel It All. Topics covered include defining secure sexuality and the origins of insecure sexuality (aka why are we so messed up about sex?!). In the full Deep Dive, available to paid members, hear them discuss how to support queer people in straight passing relationships, whether sexual preferences...

What happens when you're criss crossing all your red string a la Charlie Day while researching D/s to broaden the scope of your dynamic, but your Dom just won't click the links you send? Lina talks the three-legged race of a longterm relationship, how the patriarchy doesn't support men in self improvement, and what to do when you suspect you're a koi fish in a goldfish bowl. Get in on the new  Ask...

This month for pride, join your very own fave bisexual goblin for a wide ranging AMA! That's right, I answered your q's in real time just like the old days. Get info about Ask A Sub Office Hours on  Patreon or Substack . To support the pod and join our thriving ask a sub community of kinky pocket friends,  Join Patreon starting at $6/month! Subscribe to the subby substack  here . See the paid post...

This week, a married couple struggles with the ways D/s sometimes outwardly looks like the oppressive gender roles they were raised with, and have been fighting their whole relationship. To support the pod and join our thriving ask a sub community of kinky pocket friends, Join Patreon starting at $6/month! Subscribe to the subby substack  here . See the paid post archive here . Submit questions fo...

Lina gives some tender yet protective advice to a 20-year-old sub looking to start their kink journey. To support the pod and join our thriving ask a sub community of kinky pocket friends, Join Patreon starting at $6/month! Subscribe to the subby substack  here . See the paid post archive here . Submit questions for this podcast as voice memos to podcast@askasub.com Go here for information on how...

R.O. Kwon stopped by the pod this week to talk about her new book Exhibit , a tale about kink, queerness, and what happens when people pursue that which they truly desire.   Catch R.O.'s Thirst Inventory  here . To support the pod and join our thriving ask a sub community of kinky pocket friends, Join Patreon starting at $6/month! Subscribe to the subby substack  here . See the paid post archive h...