A Life, Folded

Lost child? Enabler? Clown? Golden child? Hero? These are all roles that children can be cast into in dysfunctional, abusive, narcissistic, or addictive family dynamics. These roles are survival mechanisms and can deep consequences on not only our childhood, but our adult experience and relationships. Are we destined to stay in the roles that were thrust on us as innocent children? No. We can brea...

Is it possible to transform, to be whole again, after discovering your intimate partner is using porn or you have suffered through betrayal trauma? Absolutely. You can, and will, heal and find peace and happiness again in your life.  A Life, Folded is now available in paperback, ebook, and audiobook. https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0H668HWB4 Audible: https://bit.ly/4bFAtXM #transformation #narcissist #...

Is it possible that narcissists, the masters of lying, duplicity, and secrecy, might try to get caught in their despicable behavior on purpose? It is, and here are some common reasons why they might want to get caught and how they might possibly behave when they are.  A Life, Folded is now available in paperback, ebook, and audiobook. https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0H668HWB4 Audible: https://bit.ly/4b...

Fight. Flight. Freeze. Fawn. Flop. These are all highly common trauma responses. Experiencing these responses is normal. It's your brain's way of dealing with a traumatic even that it perceives as a threat. Understanding and gentle self-love, compassion, and grace go a long way to recovering your nervous system health.  A Life, Folded is now available in paperback, ebook, and audiobook. https://ww...

My therapist asked me a question once that rocked my world: do you think you can ever have compassion for your narcissistic ex-husband? I laughed. But she was serious. This caused me to deeply think about the real life of a narcissist. I may or may not be able to have compassion for the narcissist, but I do know their empty reality never trumps the goodness of the people who loved them and were cr...

A Life, Folded is now available in paperback, ebook, and audiobook. https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0H668HWB4 Audible: https://bit.ly/4bFAtXM It's difficult being alone, but it is more difficult living with a partner who is not keeping their marital covenants. Who thinks fidelity is an option. Now that I've navigated my divorce from a lying, cheating narcissist, I worry about the one who stays. The one...

Even years after your divorce and healing, there is still profound sorrow. And that is okay. That is normal. When you have a beautiful, loving soul, you feel loss. You feel sorrow at what you never had and that your dreams won't come true as you had envisioned them. So don't castigate yourself for having a normal, human experience. Instead, celebrate how amazing it is that you believe so strongly...

Sometimes lifelong people-pleasers and those who give without boundaries simply snap. They realize that their blanket giving is not being returned. Their meter for the bullcrap of being used, taken advantage of, and not having their needs met is moving toward zero. And they start saying no. They start putting in healthy boundaries. They think before saying yes. The zero bullcrap meter may seem har...

"I'll be so happy when the baby is finally out of diapers." "When I get that big promotion, my life will be awesome!" "I know that if I can just find a partner to love me again, then everything in my life will finally be okay."  We can spend our days and lives waiting for "tomorrow" to find happiness. The idea that when such-and-such occurs, then we'll be better. This idea is false. We can relentl...

Is it really possible to heal and then thrive after you have been emotionally destroyed through the narcissistic discard at the hands of someone you deeply loved and trusted? Yes! Absolutely! This episode discusses easy and practical strategies that will help victims of the cruel discard find ways to heal and thrive again. It is possible! A Life, Folded is now available for preorder in paperback a...

Sexual coercion is often described like this quote taken from the National Domestic Violence Hotline: "Have you ever felt pressured by your partner to have sex? Have you ever felt guilted into it, or felt like you weren’t able to say no? Abuse is often centered on power and control in all aspects of the relationship, so it’s not uncommon that an abusive partner will try to force intimacy. This is...

Being deeply wounded by unhealthy and toxic individuals can cast a shadow over our entire lives and damage our self-worth. Do we keep allowing cluster b personality disordered individuals into our lives, destroying our peace? Or have we been hurt by someone with an attachment wound? How are narcissists and avoidant attachment style individuals similar? How do the differ? How do we spot them? How d...

As we navigate life after experiencing betrayal trauma or post-divorce, we find many who share similar experiences. Being deeply hurt by a person they loved and were devoted to. The shock and grief of finding out they have been cheated on. We don't have to suffer in silence and shame. We can reach out for support if we so choose. We can refuse to accept the blame of toxic individuals in our lives....

Narcissists are master manipulators of everyone and everything. Of their family. Of their workplace. Of their congregation. But, they are especially concerned about managing their public persona. That whatever mask they like to wear, that people see them in that light. The helpful neighbor who abuses their family behind closed doors. The fun-loving colleague who is running you down and trying to d...

After suffering through betrayal trauma, you might experience severe brain fog, an inability to remember, trouble making even basic decisions, lack of focus, and difficulties performing tasks that require deeper thinking. Has betrayal trauma permanently changed your IQ? Are you now stupid? No. There can be a temporary drop in IQ after suffering through intense emotional experiences. Let's look at...

An unhealthy parents vehemently fights to gain custody of children they don't want to take care of. A parent drains resources to bribe a child's loyalty. Children are induced to move in, only to be treated like garbage once they have left the sanctity of a home with a safe parent. Why do narcissists weaponize their own children? The sad truth is that narcissists don't care about anyone other than...

BIG NEWS! A Life, Folded will be published in paperback, audiobook, and e-book on Tuesday, September 8, 2026. The pre-order for the Kindle book is open on Amazon at https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0H668HWB4 Sometimes it is easier to stay in victim mode after you have been so deeply hurt. Doing the work to move through abuse and betrayal trauma can be one of the most epic lifelong battles we are forced...

When you are suffering through betrayal trauma, narcissistic abuse, or the end of your relationship, it is easy to start catastrophizing both your present and future. Dire scenarios of doom and gloom keep you awake all night. If you imagine all the worse scenarios happening, it will be easier to deal with them when they do. Right? Not necessarily. Statistically, there is as much chance of the best...

Why does your narcissistic ex-partner, alienated friend or family member reach out to you at random times? Why do they keep reappearing in your life, in strange ways? It is because the narcissist or other Cluster B Personality disordered-individuals will do literally anything to get you to engage with them. If you were ever a reliable source of narcissistic fuel or supply, they will tweak you, and...

After years and decades of living with emotionally abusive partners, the insidious mistreatment begins to feel like a normal part of everyday life. It is often only through the lens of others that we understand how dysfunctional our lives have become. But we have a right to exert strong boundaries and take the time and distance away from abuse to ascertain whether or not we are safe. #alifefolded...

After people have experienced betrayal trauma, you oftwn hear them say things like, "Everything inside me shattered when I found out." Or, "I felt like I got punched in the stomach." Or, "My heart broke into a million pieces." So why do people often describe betrayal trauma in terms of physical pain? Because extreme betrayal releases a cocktail of stress hormones and sends our body into fight-flig...

One common trait of both narcissists and addicts is they often play the blame game, shifting their bad behavior off onto others. Especially when emotional abuse is present, it become easy, normal even, to accept the blame. It must be my fault, right? Sometimes that is easier than accepting the destructive patterns of those we love. But, it isn't your fault. This is gaslighting. You can not force s...

For many of us, a bulk of our adult lives have been focused on managing an addicted or narcissistic partner. When we decide we wish to work toward personal healing after abuse, it can be a hard habit to break to not want to rescue or unduly concern ourselves on the behavior of others. Post divorce, it can be easy to cast doubt on yourself with regard to your decisions toward further relationships....

Have you ever been on the receiving end of something where the giver insists they are serving you, yet, it’s impossible to feel grateful because it isn’t something you ever wanted or asked for? What you did request in clear language was completely ignored and the giver substituted something else entirely, yet they were upset when you aren’t excited about what they have deigned to give you? Narciss...

Porn is not a harmless pastime. It chips away at relationships. It damages intimacy. It destroys trust. This episode discusses what is happening in the porn user's body, mind, and soul. The news of pornography's devastating effects is troubling, but there is also great hope of healing, change, and reclamation.  #alifefolded #laineycathan #stopporn #pornography #pornkills #pornkillslove #pornaddict...