Ego vs. EQ & You

You can teach someone the technical skills—but can you teach them how to handle feedback, manage emotions, navigate difficult situations, and work well with others? In Episode 40, Jen and Steve take a closer look at interviewing for emotional intelligence and why traditional interview questions may not reveal what you really need to know about a candidate. They share a fascinating example of a can...

Where do you draw the line between driving performance and pulling strings? In this episode of the Verses series, host Jen Shirkani and co-host Steve Friedlein dive into the fine—and often blurred—line between motivation and manipulation in the workplace and beyond. Together, they explore who really benefits from behavioral changes, why manipulation gets a bad rap (and when it slips into control d...

The Competency Dilemma: When Being Good at Everything Becomes the Problem Are you the person everyone goes to because you  always  get things done? Be careful—that strength can quickly become a trap. In this episode of  Ego vs EQ & You , Jen and Steve tackle the  Competency Dilemma : what happens when being capable, dependable, and willing to help leads to an ever-growing list of responsibilit...

When does honest feedback become criticism? And does it really matter if your intent is good? Jen Shirkani and Steve Friedlein tackle the sometimes uncomfortable line between feedback and criticism. They explore why  timing, tone, trust, specificity, empathy, and assertiveness  can determine whether your message actually helps someone—or simply leaves them feeling defensive. They also challenge bo...

Is it better to stick your neck out or stick to the rules? In this episode, hosts Jen Shirkani and Steve Friedlein continue their signature Versus series with a deep dive into two opposing mindsets: Courage vs. Compliance. Jen and Steve break down the hidden risks and surprising benefits of both approaches. While courage sparks innovation and asserts needed boundaries, overusing it can come across...

You’re not imagining things. In this episode of Ego versus EQ and You, hosts Jen Shirkani, Steve Friedlein, and Angela Bearor dive deep into Season 3 with a burning question: How do we find the "real human" in an era dominated by AI-generated candidates? With roughly 60% of job seekers now using tools like ChatGPT to polish resumes and game the system, traditional hiring methods are offi...

In this episode, hosts Jen Shirkani and Steve Friedlein dive into the multi-layered concept of being  "conflicted" —both about whether a conflict exists and whether it is worth engaging in. Shifting the narrative that conflict is inherently negative, they discuss how healthy discord is a vital prerequisite for high-performing teams and innovative solutions. Key topics discussed include:...

In this episode of the  Versus Series , Jen Shirkani and Steve Friedlein explore the balance between talking versus listening and why emotional intelligence is key to knowing when to do each. Through stories from sales coaching, meetings, interviews, and everyday relationships, they discuss how some people dominate conversations while others stay too silent—both of which can create misunderstandin...

Can you truly lead if you don't know how to follow? In this installment of our "Versus" series, Jen is joined by Steve Friedlein to deconstruct the symbiotic relationship between leadership and followership. From the "C-Suite Generalist" to the "Coach vs. Player" analogy, they explore why the best leaders are often the ones willing to step back and let their team...

In this episode, Jen is joined by Steve Friedlein to explore the challenge of  “daring to trust.”  Trust can be fragile, and rebuilding it—whether we were the cause of the breakdown or someone else was—often requires courage and self-reflection. Rather than focusing on what others should do differently, the conversation emphasizes taking responsibility for  our own behaviors that build or erode tr...

In this episode of  Ego vs EQ & You , Jen Shirkani and co-host Steve Friedlein explore a common leadership dilemma:  Can you adapt your behavior to others without losing your authenticity? Through practical examples and coaching insights, they unpack the tension between being “true to yourself” and using emotional intelligence to read the room. The conversation highlights why authenticity does...

In this episode of Ego vs EQ & You , Jen and Steve continue their “Versus Series” by tackling an issue that causes countless misunderstandings at work and in relationships: intent vs. impact . Most people judge themselves by their good intentions , while judging others by the impact of their behavior . The challenge is that even well-intended messages can land poorly if we don’t consider how t...

Ever found yourself so far off track that you didn't recognize your own career anymore? In this raw and honest episode, Jen Shirkani shares the wake-up meeting she had and what happened next changed everything. Discover why comfort can be more dangerous than fear and how losing sight of your core strengths costs you more than just money. This episode will give you the courage to course correct...

In this thought-provoking episode, host Jen Shirkani challenges the common saying "life is short" and argues for adopting a "life is long" mindset. She explores how this perspective shift impacts our decisions about health, finances, career, and wellbeing. Jen discusses why planning for decades ahead—even if uncertain—leads to better outcomes with minimal downside. From retirem...

Optimists dream big. Realists keep us grounded. In this episode, Jen, Angela, and Steve unpack how these two perspectives work together to create smarter, more balanced decisions and why you need a little of both. Join us on YouTube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TuaD5V7R0Ic. To share show ideas or get anonymous help with a challenging situation, please email: podcasts@jenshirkani.com  #Emotional...

Empathy is a great thing until it starts working against you. In this lively episode, Jen, Steve, and Angela dive into what happens when empathy goes too far and why a dose of assertiveness can make your conversations more honest, balanced, and effective Join us on YouTube  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TuaD5V7R0Ic . To share show ideas or get anonymous help with a challenging situation, please...

Send us a text Ever catch yourself reacting instead of responding when you’re stressed? You’re not alone. In this episode, Jen, Angela, and Steve dive into how stress affects your impulse control and share tips to break the cycle before it breaks you. Join us on YouTube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TuaD5V7R0Ic . To share show ideas or get anonymous help with a challenging situation, please emai...

Send us a text Knowing how you feel is one thing…sharing it is another. Join Jen, Steve, and Angela as they unpack why expressing what you feel is just as important, and how finding that balance can strengthen trust and connection with others. Links:  5 Ways to Build Trust Using Emotional Expression https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/five-ways-build-trust-using-emotional-expression-jen-shirkani/?track...

Send us a text Think ego is always the enemy? Think again. In this episode, Jen, Angela, and Steve dig into how ego can fuel growth when kept in check and share practical ways to balance it with self-awareness for better results (and fewer regrets). Join us on YouTube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TuaD5V7R0Ic . To share show ideas or get anonymous help with a challenging situation, please email:...

Send us a text Ever wondered what truly sets introverts and extroverts apart? In this kickoff to our new “vs” series, Jen, Steve, and Angela dive into the real differences between these two personality types and the benefits of knowing them. Discover why understanding this key trait can help you thrive at work and in life. Join us on YouTube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TuaD5V7R0Ic . To share s...

Send us a text  Everyone is talking about artificial intelligence (AI) and how it related to emotional intelligence (EQ). In this lively discussion with Jen Shirkani, Steve Friedlein and Angela Bearor learn ways that leaders can utilize AI most effectively, along with some warnings on how not to use it.  To share show ideas or get anonymous help with a challenging situation, please email: podcasts...

Send us a text Nobody wants to fail, especially a top performer who is focused and commited. So how to we approach feedback after failure? In this episode Jen Shirkani and Steve Friedlein share ways to approach a feedback conversation and turn criticism into a positive experience.

Send us a text We all face difficulty and setbacks, learn more about the comfort zone and how it impedes our ability to grow. Jen Shirkani shares more of her personal story of resilience and ways to cope using a skill model: MOST. Listen to learn details on how to use Motivation, Optimism and Stress Tolerance for success.   Book Reference: Choose Resilience by Jen Shirkani Join us on  YouTube http...

Send us a text Do you work with people who play the victim? This episode describes how this attitude damages us and the workplace and explains the science behind why negative emotion is contagious. Learn how agency can counter-act victimhood.   Book References: The Oz Principle by Connors, Smith and Hickman Social Intelligence by Daniel Goleman Join us on YouTube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tu...

Send us a text In this lively episode, Jen Shirkani is joined by Steve Friedlein and Angela Bearor as they discuss current events and news stories with applications of emotional intelligence. This week they discuss ways to express emotion, a study on how many remote workers have secret second jobs, and the fall of servant leadership.  To share comments or show ideas please email podcasts@jenshirka...