Ego vs. EQ & You

In this episode, hosts Jen Shirkani and Steve Friedlein dive into the multi-layered concept of being  "conflicted" —both about whether a conflict exists and whether it is worth engaging in. Shifting the narrative that conflict is inherently negative, they discuss how healthy discord is a vital prerequisite for high-performing teams and innovative solutions. Key topics discussed include:...

In this episode of the  Versus Series , Jen Shirkani and Steve Friedlein explore the balance between talking versus listening and why emotional intelligence is key to knowing when to do each. Through stories from sales coaching, meetings, interviews, and everyday relationships, they discuss how some people dominate conversations while others stay too silent—both of which can create misunderstandin...

Can you truly lead if you don't know how to follow? In this installment of our "Versus" series, Jen is joined by Steve Friedlein to deconstruct the symbiotic relationship between leadership and followership. From the "C-Suite Generalist" to the "Coach vs. Player" analogy, they explore why the best leaders are often the ones willing to step back and let their team...

In this episode, Jen is joined by Steve Friedlein to explore the challenge of  “daring to trust.”  Trust can be fragile, and rebuilding it—whether we were the cause of the breakdown or someone else was—often requires courage and self-reflection. Rather than focusing on what others should do differently, the conversation emphasizes taking responsibility for  our own behaviors that build or erode tr...

In this episode of  Ego vs EQ & You , Jen Shirkani and co-host Steve Friedlein explore a common leadership dilemma:  Can you adapt your behavior to others without losing your authenticity? Through practical examples and coaching insights, they unpack the tension between being “true to yourself” and using emotional intelligence to read the room. The conversation highlights why authenticity does...

In this episode of Ego vs EQ & You , Jen and Steve continue their “Versus Series” by tackling an issue that causes countless misunderstandings at work and in relationships: intent vs. impact . Most people judge themselves by their good intentions , while judging others by the impact of their behavior . The challenge is that even well-intended messages can land poorly if we don’t consider how t...

Ever found yourself so far off track that you didn't recognize your own career anymore? In this raw and honest episode, Jen Shirkani shares the wake-up meeting she had and what happened next changed everything. Discover why comfort can be more dangerous than fear and how losing sight of your core strengths costs you more than just money. This episode will give you the courage to course correct...

In this thought-provoking episode, host Jen Shirkani challenges the common saying "life is short" and argues for adopting a "life is long" mindset. She explores how this perspective shift impacts our decisions about health, finances, career, and wellbeing. Jen discusses why planning for decades ahead—even if uncertain—leads to better outcomes with minimal downside. From retirem...

Optimists dream big. Realists keep us grounded. In this episode, Jen, Angela, and Steve unpack how these two perspectives work together to create smarter, more balanced decisions and why you need a little of both. Join us on YouTube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TuaD5V7R0Ic. To share show ideas or get anonymous help with a challenging situation, please email: podcasts@jenshirkani.com  #Emotional...

Empathy is a great thing until it starts working against you. In this lively episode, Jen, Steve, and Angela dive into what happens when empathy goes too far and why a dose of assertiveness can make your conversations more honest, balanced, and effective Join us on YouTube  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TuaD5V7R0Ic . To share show ideas or get anonymous help with a challenging situation, please...

Send us a text Ever catch yourself reacting instead of responding when you’re stressed? You’re not alone. In this episode, Jen, Angela, and Steve dive into how stress affects your impulse control and share tips to break the cycle before it breaks you. Join us on YouTube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TuaD5V7R0Ic . To share show ideas or get anonymous help with a challenging situation, please emai...

Send us a text Knowing how you feel is one thing…sharing it is another. Join Jen, Steve, and Angela as they unpack why expressing what you feel is just as important, and how finding that balance can strengthen trust and connection with others. Links:  5 Ways to Build Trust Using Emotional Expression https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/five-ways-build-trust-using-emotional-expression-jen-shirkani/?track...

Send us a text Think ego is always the enemy? Think again. In this episode, Jen, Angela, and Steve dig into how ego can fuel growth when kept in check and share practical ways to balance it with self-awareness for better results (and fewer regrets). Join us on YouTube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TuaD5V7R0Ic . To share show ideas or get anonymous help with a challenging situation, please email:...

Send us a text Ever wondered what truly sets introverts and extroverts apart? In this kickoff to our new “vs” series, Jen, Steve, and Angela dive into the real differences between these two personality types and the benefits of knowing them. Discover why understanding this key trait can help you thrive at work and in life. Join us on YouTube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TuaD5V7R0Ic . To share s...

Send us a text  Everyone is talking about artificial intelligence (AI) and how it related to emotional intelligence (EQ). In this lively discussion with Jen Shirkani, Steve Friedlein and Angela Bearor learn ways that leaders can utilize AI most effectively, along with some warnings on how not to use it.  To share show ideas or get anonymous help with a challenging situation, please email: podcasts...

Send us a text Nobody wants to fail, especially a top performer who is focused and commited. So how to we approach feedback after failure? In this episode Jen Shirkani and Steve Friedlein share ways to approach a feedback conversation and turn criticism into a positive experience.

Send us a text We all face difficulty and setbacks, learn more about the comfort zone and how it impedes our ability to grow. Jen Shirkani shares more of her personal story of resilience and ways to cope using a skill model: MOST. Listen to learn details on how to use Motivation, Optimism and Stress Tolerance for success.   Book Reference: Choose Resilience by Jen Shirkani Join us on  YouTube http...

Send us a text Do you work with people who play the victim? This episode describes how this attitude damages us and the workplace and explains the science behind why negative emotion is contagious. Learn how agency can counter-act victimhood.   Book References: The Oz Principle by Connors, Smith and Hickman Social Intelligence by Daniel Goleman Join us on YouTube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tu...

Send us a text In this lively episode, Jen Shirkani is joined by Steve Friedlein and Angela Bearor as they discuss current events and news stories with applications of emotional intelligence. This week they discuss ways to express emotion, a study on how many remote workers have secret second jobs, and the fall of servant leadership.  To share comments or show ideas please email podcasts@jenshirka...

Send us a text In this episode, Jen Shirkani is joined by Steve Friedlein as they discuss the differences between EQ, personality, communication styles and change styles.  Sample reports referred to in this episode can be found at: https://penumbra.com/assessments/ We would love to hear from you! Share suggestions or comments at podcasts@jenshirkani.com . 

Send us a text In this episode, Jen Shirkani shares the risks of making assumptions, including an explanation of the fundamental attribution error and some personal examples. 

Send us a text In this episode, Jen Shirkani shares a listener question regarding someone who reads others well but lacks emotional self-awareness. Several suggestions are discussed to help others raise their EQ, along with strategies for working with someone who lacks EQ. If you want (anonymous) assistance with a people problem, email Jen at podcasts@jenshirkani.com . 

Send us a text Jen Shirkani is joined by Steve Friedlein and Angela Bearor in this episode to discuss a news story about an employee who set boundaries and got a raise, an overheard conversation related to co-worker conflict, and the trend to cut training dollars when employees need it the most. 

Send us a text In this episode, Jen Shirkani is joined by Steve Friedlein to discuss executive coaching. Collectively, they have decades of experience and share insights on how to know who is coachable, what to look for in a coach, and ways to get the most from a coaching engagement.  If you would like some free coaching support or help with a people problem, you can send a confidential email to p...

Send us a text  This episode summarizes the definition of emotional intelligence, the role of ego and the 8 traps that are common among leaders. This is a synopsis of the book with the same title, "Ego vs EQ".  Get coaching support or share a people problem by sending us a confidential email to podcasts@jenshirkani.com .