The Divorce Decision Podcast

When you’re stuck trying to decide what to do about your marriage, your mind can spend a lot of time imagining everything that could go wrong. What if I stay and nothing ever changes? What if I leave and end up alone? What if I make the wrong decision and regret it? In this episode of The Divorce Decision Podcast , I’m talking about what I call anticipatory pain —the pain and difficult emotions we...

You know your marriage isn’t working. Maybe there’s been repeated infidelity. Addiction. Years of disrespect. An unequal partnership. Broken trust. Or maybe you’ve carried the financial, emotional, and practical weight of the marriage for so long that you’re completely exhausted. You can see the problems clearly. You may even think, I know I should leave. So why can’t you? In this episode of The D...

He's a good dad." "She's never cheated." "Everybody loves them."  If you're carrying guilt about questioning your marriage because your spouse is a good person, this episode is for you. So many of my clients feel guilty questioning their marriage because their spouse hasn't done anything "bad enough" to justify it.  No affair.  No addiction. ...

When you're at the Crossroads in your marriage, it can feel like you're having the same conversation with yourself over and over again. Should I stay? Should I leave? Have I tried hard enough? Am I reacting out of anger? Am I staying because I'm scared? What if I regret whatever I choose? In this episode of The Divorce Decision Podcast , I’m breaking down what coaching actually does...

Do you feel torn between staying, leaving, or waiting?   Stage Five of the divorce decision process is the Crossroads, and it's one of the most exhausting places to be.  In this episode, I'm breaking down why this stage feels like fighting a war inside your own head, what keeps people stuck here, and the two questions that can bring real clarity: what do you actually want, and what are y...

If resentment has become a major part of your marriage, you may assume that letting go of it means forgiving your spouse, excusing what happened, or deciding to stay. It doesn’t. In this episode, I’m staying with Stage Four: The Fracture a little longer to talk about what resentment actually is, why it can become so emotionally exhausting, and what it really means to begin working through it. I’ll...

You used to give your spouse the benefit of the doubt. Now you don't. Somewhere along the way, the small stuff stopped feeling small. The forgotten text, the late pickup, the dishes left again — they don't just annoy you anymore. They feel like proof of something. And when your spouse apologizes now, some part of you doesn't quite believe it. If you're guarded instead of tender...

You told your spouse something has to change. And now you’re watching. Are they following through? Is the effort real? Will it last—or are things eventually going to slide right back to the way they were before? Welcome to Stage 3: Testing . In this episode, I’m talking about four of the most common mistakes I see people make during this stage of the divorce decision process—and how those mistakes...

If you've been hinting at how unhappy you are and hoping your spouse will finally connect the dots — this episode is for you. In Stage One, you privately recognized something wasn't right. Stage Two is where that private knowing becomes a conversation. Not another argument about the dishes or the phone or who forgot what — but the real, direct conversation about what this has started to...

Before anyone starts thinking about divorce, there's a quieter moment most people never talk about — the moment the unhappiness stops feeling temporary.  Maybe it's a hum of loneliness that won't go away, even when your spouse is sitting right next to you.  Maybe it's a string of small moments that were never really resolved, just carried.  In this episode, we break down Stage...

If you've been asking yourself, "Should I stay or should I leave?" over and over again, this episode is for you. Many people spend four to five years contemplating divorce before making a decision. The problem isn't that you can't make up your mind—it's that you're trying to answer one question without realizing you're actually moving through a process. In t...

If you're unhappy in your marriage, it's easy to get stuck pointing at the obvious stuff — the dishes he won't do, the phone she won't put down, the sex you're not having, the way he shuts down every time you bring something up.  But what if the behavior isn't actually the problem? In today's episode, I break down three things your unhappiness is trying to teach...

Is the fighting in your marriage normal — or is it a sign of something deeper?   Today, I'm answering one of the questions I get asked most by walking you through three simple signs to check in your own relationship. You'll learn: ·       Why the topic of a fight matters less than whether it stays on topic — and what it means when small arguments turn into old, unrelated hurts ·       Th...

What if the biggest problem in your marriage isn’t the topic you keep fighting about… but the pattern you fall into every time you try to talk about it? In this episode of The Divorce Decision Podcast , I’m breaking down the pursuit-withdrawal cycle — also called the demand-withdraw cycle — and why it can quietly create resentment, loneliness, panic, shutdown, and emotional distance in a marriage....

Is your marriage going through a hard season, or are you standing at a real crossroads? In this episode of The Divorce Decision Podcast, Kari Hoskins helps you tell the difference between a temporary rough patch and a deeper marriage crisis. When you’re unhappy, disconnected, resentful, or emotionally exhausted, it can be hard to know what is actually happening. Is this stress? Is it burnout? Is i...

Unhappy marriages don’t usually fall apart overnight. They often deteriorate through small, repeated patterns that become part of everyday life. In this episode, Kari shares three things to stop doing if you’re unhappy in your marriage: belittling or demeaning your partner, keeping score, and avoiding conversations when issues are still small. These habits may feel understandable when you’re hurt...

In the final episode of the Can This Marriage Heal? series, Kari tackles the question that keeps people up at night: If real change were possible, would you actually want to stay? This isn't a question about whether your marriage can be fixed. It's a question about whether you want it to be — and those are very different things. In this episode you'll learn:  The difference between...

Can Your Marriage Be Saved? One Thing You Can't Ignore Are you wondering if your marriage can be fixed — or if it's already too late? In this episode of the Divorce Decision Podcast, host Kari Hoskins digs into one of the most important questions you need to answer before you can even think about saving your marriage: Is there still respect between you and your spouse? You might not feel...

If you're wondering whether or not your marriage can be repaired, this episode is for you.  In this episode of The Divorce Decision Podcast , Kari Hoskins begins a 3-part series on one of the biggest questions couples face when their marriage is in crisis: Can this marriage actually heal? Part 1 focuses on ownership. When one spouse wants to repair the marriage and the other is unsure, it can...

What do you do when divorce has been brought up or just decided on but you’re still living together? This is one of the most emotionally confusing stages of the divorce decision. You may still be sharing a bedroom, parenting together, eating dinner in the same kitchen, or managing bills and errands — but underneath all of that, the marriage feels uncertain. In this episode of The Divorce Decision...

Should you stay married, separate, or get divorced? Most people think the divorce decision has only two options: stay or leave. But the truth is, the decision is usually much more nuanced than that. In this episode of The Divorce Decision Podcast , Kari Hoskins walks through five options people often have when they are questioning their marriage. Instead of rushing toward a black-and-white answer,...

Have you been secretly unhappy in your marriage but unsure how to tell your spouse? In this episode of T he Divorce Decision Podcast , Kari Hoskins talks to the spouse who has been carrying private pain, resentment, loneliness, or discontent for months—or even years—without knowing when or how to finally say it out loud. Before you say divorce, there may be an honest conversation that needs to hap...

Do relatively small things that your spouse does or says create big feelings inside of you?  Is it normal for you to feel upset, angry, annoyed  or some other negative emotion towards your spouse regularly? If you answered "yes" to either of these questions, you might have fallen victim to this subconscious thought pattern making your daily life feel worse.   In this episode of The Divor...

In this episode of The Divorce Decision Podcast, I talk about a common struggle people face when they’re trying to decide whether to stay in a marriage or leave: the pressure to justify their decision to other people. I explain why that pressure can be so damaging to your clarity, especially when family or friends want answers, have opinions, or expect your choice to make sense to them.  I also sh...

In this episode, I tackle one of the most painful and often invisible relationship struggles: feeling lonely in your marriage.  And I’m not just talking about being physically alone. I’m talking about feeling emotionally disconnected, unseen, unheard, and like you’re living life next to your partner instead of with them. I break down how loneliness in a marriage happens over time, often through sm...