Life and Love by Design

You've probably heard them a hundred times: “Never go to bed angry.” “Marriage is 50/50.” “Happy wife, happy life.” “If they wanted to, they would.” “Never settle.” But is this actually good relationship advice? In Episode 51 of Life & Love by Design, I'm breaking down five popular relationship rules I don't completely agree with, and the important nuance I think we're missing when we try to r...

What if some of the most powerful ways we say “I love you” have nothing to do with words? Recently, my family said goodbye to our adorable little Shih Tzu after 16 years. And losing him made me think differently about love, communication, connection, and all the small ways the people we love tell us, “You matter to me,” without saying a word. In this episode of Life & Love by Design, we're tal...

Why do you and your partner keep having the same argument over and over again, even when you thought you already resolved it? Because you may not actually be fighting about what you think you’re fighting about. The dishes. The phone. Sex. Money. The kids. Who does more around the house. Who forgot to make the plans.  Those may be what START the argument, but underneath them is often something much...

Maybe you haven't stopped loving your husband. Maybe you've just stopped trying. Somewhere along the way, the conversations got shorter, the expectations got lower, and the relationship started feeling more like a routine than a connection. And you may not even realize how far you've pulled away. In this episode of Life & Love by Design, we're talking about what it looks like w...

What happens when the woman holding everything together isn't okay? In Episode 47 of Life & Love by Design, I’m talking about women’s mental health, motherhood, burnout, overwhelm, postpartum mental health, and the pressure women feel to keep functioning no matter what. I know a lot of women who struggle after giving birth, so I wanted to dedicate an entire episode to talking about how we...

Today we’re going to ask ourselves a very difficult question: Is your husband acting like your child... or have you unknowingly stepped into the role of his mother? I know, you think I’m crazy! But hear me out.  Most women don't realize they're reinforcing the very behaviors they resent. Which is why I make sure I bring this up to my clients so that we can find a healthy solution that work...

Love isn't something you simply feel; it’s something you choose, build, and practice every day. Love is an action, and I know exactly which actions you should take to fall back in love with your partner.  In this episode of Life & Love by Design, I’m taking my expertise as a relationship coach and sharing why lasting love isn't built on a feeling. You'll discover the daily choices,...

If your wife feels more like your mother than your partner, your marriage may be stuck in a parent-child dynamic, and it's slowly eroding intimacy, attraction, and connection. In this episode of Life & Love by Design, I share 7 common behaviors grown men do that unintentionally make their wives feel like their mothers. From emotional labor and mental load to responsibility, communication,...

"I'll marry you... but first you need to lose weight, work on yourself, and learn about money." What would you do if your long-term partner gave you this ultimatum? It’s jarring, but it’s not as flashy or absurd as some of the ultimatums I've heard before, so it made me pause.  As a relationship coach, I can see that he’s trying to communicate some very real fears of his, even th...

Boundaries are one of the most important and most misunderstood parts of healthy relationships. Have you ever struggled to say no, felt guilty setting limits, or found yourself feeling resentful because you keep putting everyone else first? In this episode of Life & Love by Design, I’m breaking down what boundaries really are, why so many of us struggle to create them, and how setting healthy...

How do good people end up making life-changing mistakes? Tom Hardin made a handful of bad decisions, which led to the FBI approaching him on the street. He was caught insider trading on Wall Street, and the FBI demanded that he become an informant for them and turn against his colleagues. I read his book, which is full of insightful information about relationships, his marriage, and how he built h...

Getting married is a wonderful time in your life. It’s also the busiest time of your life, with maybe the highest stakes you’ll ever encounter. Because everyone hopes that they’ll only be married once, so they want everything leading up to the wedding to go smoothly.  There’s the wedding, the paperwork, the blending of the families, but what about you? Is your relationship ready for marriage? Are...

I was shocked when I read the title of this Reddit story! My daughter brought it to my attention, and I knew I had to make a podcast episode about it. Not just because I’m a relationship coach, but because I’ve lived through this before, too.  I’ve had the “you changed” conversation before. And the more I work with couples, the more I see this conversation come up. And honestly, it’s normal! Becau...

Reclaiming your power is about more than blaming others for your problems. It’s about giving yourself the life you’ve always wanted. The life you’ve put on the back burner and now have the motivation to make it happen for yourself.  So many of my clients say that they want to make a personal transformation. They want to treat themselves better, they want to deepen their relationships, and they wan...

Every single person I know does the same thing. They believe that they know all their loved one’s faults. Not only that, they attach meaning to all those faults. So “he’s home late” becomes “he doesn’t want to spend time with me.”  There’s always a problem, and it’s never their fault. It’s always someone else causing the issues. But what if that wasn’t true? What if this funny little habit of blam...

Resentment is a common feeling in relationships. It happens when one or both partners feel like they aren’t being appreciated by the other, and they don’t know how to fix it. That’s where I come in.  Resenting your partner doesn’t mean you have to end the relationship. I rarely see partners who resent each other break up after relationship coaching. Because resentment isn’t an emotion that automat...

Shakira, Beyoncé, and Megan Thee Stallion have all been publicly cheated on, and that kind of betrayal can send shockwaves out to all of womankind. These are the most beautiful, talented, successful women in their fields, and they STILL got cheated on. If they are not worthy of loyalty, who is?  That’s exactly the question I want to dissect today, specifically because it’s the wrong one. You did n...

So many women have been taught to hold everything in. We are told to be palatable and keep our emotions to ourselves because it would be better for everyone else around us if we just pretended that everything was ok, even when it’s not. Screw that!  If you find yourself disconnected from your body, unable to feel joy, and can’t help but feel that something is profoundly wrong, it may be that you’r...

Grief came very quickly for this week’s guest. Natalie’s mother was suddenly diagnosed with stage four cancer and passed away earlier than anyone would have expected her to. Natalie, as a grieving daughter, is not only holding space for this grief and healing from it, but also allowing it to create space for more compassion and more dancing in her life.     Natalie Caruncho is a Broadway performer...

So many couples can feel themselves becoming roommates. They’re not affectionate anymore, they’re not being intimate, and reaching out to make a connection feels like pulling teeth. No one knows what to do or how to fix it, so you just drift further away from each other. So what do you do when you feel like roommates, and you want to get back to feeling like lovers? You have to go back to basics -...

As a life and relationship coach, attachment styles are so fascinating to me. They’re this window into who we are and why we do the things we do. They provide context to all our behaviors and chronic patterns we have in our relationships. And the best thing about them is that you’re not confined to one attachment style for the rest of your life! For many of my clients, that's the goal. They do...

I didn’t realize how much I needed a week-long vacation with my hubby until we were actually there. Don’t get me wrong, planning to be away from my kids and the logistics were a bit stressful. But the time away was so nice! We booked massages and excursions, and we even booked a helicopter ride!  During that helicopter ride, I realized something. All the little things we bicker about in life are s...

I used to be very proud of how I neglected myself. In hindsight, it’s a bit embarrassing, and neglect sounds like a huge word to describe what I was doing. I wasn’t trying to neglect myself; I was busy taking care of everyone else! There was laundry to do, kids to raise, and dinner to be made. But in the end, I did take a lot of pride in not taking care of myself. I spent so much time taking care...

The amount of intimacy you and your partner experience in your relationship can be the difference between having a long and happy marriage together or finding yourself separated. Your intimacy is the spark that you guys have together, that thing that makes you guys click. And like everything else in a long-term relationship, doubling that intimacy will require a little bit of courage. And before w...

What if the thing you’ve been hiding… is actually your greatest strength? When most people hear the word “vulnerability,” they think about relationships. I know I do. In my work with couples, I see how powerful it is when someone is finally honest about what they feel, what they need, and what they’ve been afraid to say. But vulnerability matters just as much in leadership. Whether you’re leading...