Life and Love by Design

Getting married is a wonderful time in your life. It’s also the busiest time of your life, with maybe the highest stakes you’ll ever encounter. Because everyone hopes that they’ll only be married once, so they want everything leading up to the wedding to go smoothly.  There’s the wedding, the paperwork, the blending of the families, but what about you? Is your relationship ready for marriage? Are...

I was shocked when I read the title of this Reddit story! My daughter brought it to my attention, and I knew I had to make a podcast episode about it. Not just because I’m a relationship coach, but because I’ve lived through this before, too.  I’ve had the “you changed” conversation before. And the more I work with couples, the more I see this conversation come up. And honestly, it’s normal! Becau...

Reclaiming your power is about more than blaming others for your problems. It’s about giving yourself the life you’ve always wanted. The life you’ve put on the back burner and now have the motivation to make it happen for yourself.  So many of my clients say that they want to make a personal transformation. They want to treat themselves better, they want to deepen their relationships, and they wan...

Every single person I know does the same thing. They believe that they know all their loved one’s faults. Not only that, they attach meaning to all those faults. So “he’s home late” becomes “he doesn’t want to spend time with me.”  There’s always a problem, and it’s never their fault. It’s always someone else causing the issues. But what if that wasn’t true? What if this funny little habit of blam...

Resentment is a common feeling in relationships. It happens when one or both partners feel like they aren’t being appreciated by the other, and they don’t know how to fix it. That’s where I come in.  Resenting your partner doesn’t mean you have to end the relationship. I rarely see partners who resent each other break up after relationship coaching. Because resentment isn’t an emotion that automat...

Shakira, Beyoncé, and Megan Thee Stallion have all been publicly cheated on, and that kind of betrayal can send shockwaves out to all of womankind. These are the most beautiful, talented, successful women in their fields, and they STILL got cheated on. If they are not worthy of loyalty, who is?  That’s exactly the question I want to dissect today, specifically because it’s the wrong one. You did n...

So many women have been taught to hold everything in. We are told to be palatable and keep our emotions to ourselves because it would be better for everyone else around us if we just pretended that everything was ok, even when it’s not. Screw that!  If you find yourself disconnected from your body, unable to feel joy, and can’t help but feel that something is profoundly wrong, it may be that you’r...

Grief came very quickly for this week’s guest. Natalie’s mother was suddenly diagnosed with stage four cancer and passed away earlier than anyone would have expected her to. Natalie, as a grieving daughter, is not only holding space for this grief and healing from it, but also allowing it to create space for more compassion and more dancing in her life.     Natalie Caruncho is a Broadway performer...

So many couples can feel themselves becoming roommates. They’re not affectionate anymore, they’re not being intimate, and reaching out to make a connection feels like pulling teeth. No one knows what to do or how to fix it, so you just drift further away from each other. So what do you do when you feel like roommates, and you want to get back to feeling like lovers? You have to go back to basics -...

As a life and relationship coach, attachment styles are so fascinating to me. They’re this window into who we are and why we do the things we do. They provide context to all our behaviors and chronic patterns we have in our relationships. And the best thing about them is that you’re not confined to one attachment style for the rest of your life! For many of my clients, that's the goal. They do...

I didn’t realize how much I needed a week-long vacation with my hubby until we were actually there. Don’t get me wrong, planning to be away from my kids and the logistics were a bit stressful. But the time away was so nice! We booked massages and excursions, and we even booked a helicopter ride!  During that helicopter ride, I realized something. All the little things we bicker about in life are s...

I used to be very proud of how I neglected myself. In hindsight, it’s a bit embarrassing, and neglect sounds like a huge word to describe what I was doing. I wasn’t trying to neglect myself; I was busy taking care of everyone else! There was laundry to do, kids to raise, and dinner to be made. But in the end, I did take a lot of pride in not taking care of myself. I spent so much time taking care...

The amount of intimacy you and your partner experience in your relationship can be the difference between having a long and happy marriage together or finding yourself separated. Your intimacy is the spark that you guys have together, that thing that makes you guys click. And like everything else in a long-term relationship, doubling that intimacy will require a little bit of courage. And before w...

What if the thing you’ve been hiding… is actually your greatest strength? When most people hear the word “vulnerability,” they think about relationships. I know I do. In my work with couples, I see how powerful it is when someone is finally honest about what they feel, what they need, and what they’ve been afraid to say. But vulnerability matters just as much in leadership. Whether you’re leading...

Women over 40 often feel stuck in their relationships. My clients come to me saying that everything should be fine - they’re still in love, and they don’t want a divorce - but there’s something stagnant about their life and their relationship. These women feel stuck, and they have no idea what to do about it.  As a certified life coach, I’ve seen this time and time again. What you’re looking for h...

Anxiety can affect not only our daily lives, but our relationships, too. I’ve seen my clients’ relationships fall apart because their anxiety was getting in the way of the rest of their lives. They needed some way to treat all the stress, panic attacks, and dysregulation, but they don’t know how. That’s why we’re talking to Veruschka, to find out what your holistic options are for regulating your...

It’s time to put down the attachment-style books! I have very smart, self-aware clients who struggle to communicate well in their relationships. They’re always fighting with their partners, and it’s not because they can’t properly analyze the relationship patterns they’re seeing. It’s because they’re not feeling their feelings.  Overanalyzing and overexplaining will not fix your relationship. It’s...

Many people don’t think they have toxic relationship patterns, but they do. I see it all the time! And toxic relationship patterns can look like so many different things. For example, it can look like you two are having the same fight over and over again without ever finding a solution. Or it can be one person shutting down, and the other person constantly pursuing their partner, trying to get the...

Transformation will always be a foundational part of our lives. Even the basics are transformational; you grow up, get a degree, get a job. We sometimes take these accomplishments for granted, but all of those events transform you into the person you are today. The truly inspirational parts of your life are what you have to have courage for, to see through to the end, and this week’s guest knows a...

Have you ever wondered what the internal process of a matchmaker is? You see one on TV, call up one with great reviews, and you hope and pray that they can get you married within a year. But getting you married is not necessarily their job. So what is their job? We invited a professional matchmaker onto the podcast to find out.  Arlene Washburn is an Ethical Matchmaking Advocate, industry educator...

At one point or another, couples are going to struggle with intimacy. Either their schedules don’t align, their spark fizzled out, or they just mentally can’t get there. So there are plenty of reasons you can be struggling with intimacy.  But recently, the problem amongst my coaching clients is that they can’t bounce back into being a sexy wife after becoming a mom.  My clients beat themselves up...

Walking on eggshells is a very common part of life. It happens when we feel like we have to choose our words carefully or like we have to manage our tone to prevent an argument. It feels like one wrong word could blow up the entire conversation or even the entire relationship. If you’ve ever found yourself in this situation, I want you to know that you have options. And this episode is not just fo...

This episode has mentions of suicide. If you are not in a space to listen to today's topic, we understand, and we’ll see you next time ❤️   Sometimes you can have everything you’ve ever wanted on paper, and still not be happy. It's terrifying to realize, but sometimes the material things you’ve always wanted are not what make you happy. Life is not just about our achievements. Of course, it’s grea...

Building a connection with your partner feels harder than it is. It feels like this connection is supposed to be inherently easy because the initial connection when you first got together was so easy. But reconnecting after losing that connection takes work. Not a ton of work, but work nonetheless.  Luckily, we have access to some of the greatest minds in relationship research, like John Gottman a...

Being seen is a fact of life, especially when you are intentionally designing a new life for yourself. So when you’re designing your new life, you have to take into account how you want to be seen, inside and out, and get comfortable with it. This week, we have an expert on being seen and exploring new ways to become your most authentic self.  Jennifer Bladel is an artist, photographer, and travel...