Soulful Wahine

What if you’re not actually quick to forgive—you’ve just gotten really good at absorbing the hurt and moving on? In this episode of Soulful Wahine, we’re talking about the complicated space between forgiveness and accountability. I’m getting into my own tendency to process hurt privately, what happens when resentment starts showing up after you thought you’d “moved on,” and why an apology doesn’t...

What if “protecting your peace” isn’t always about protecting yourself from harm—sometimes it’s about protecting yourself from discomfort? In this episode of Soulful Wahine, we’re talking about the blurry line between healthy distance and avoidance. I’m sharing my own tendency to shut down and detach when I feel misunderstood, unheard, or disappointed—and how becoming a therapist gave me even more...

When did being “easy to love” start meaning needing less, asking for less, and staying quiet when something hurts? In this episode of Soulful Wahine, Kehaulani explores the ways we can learn to make ourselves emotionally inexpensive in relationships. From being the “chill girlfriend” and questioning whether our feelings are valid, to hyper-independence, resentment, and quietly detaching instead of...

What happens when someone you love is disappointed in you, and your first instinct is to assume you’ve done something wrong? In Episode 7 of Soulful Wahine , I explore the weight of disappointing people, especially when family, relationships, reciprocity, and community genuinely matter to you. We’re talking about the difference between causing harm and disappointing someone , why guilt doesn’t alw...

What does it mean when you know leaving was the right decision, but you still miss them? In this episode of Soulful Wahine, Kehaulani continues a conversation that started two weeks ago with Ronalyn about the complicated reality of leaving a relationship and staying gone. This time, we’re talking about what happens after the decision has been made, but your emotions haven’t completely caught up ye...

Leaving a relationship that you know isn’t good for you is hard. But sometimes, staying gone is even harder. In this episode of Soulful Wahine , I’m joined by my close friend Ronalyn for an honest conversation about what happens after you leave. We talk about the grief that can come with choosing yourself, missing someone you know wasn’t good for you, questioning whether you made the right decisio...

It’s one of the most confusing parts of healing—knowing someone hurt you, knowing distance was necessary, and still finding yourself missing them anyway. In this episode, we talk about why grief doesn’t always mean you made the wrong decision, why missing someone isn’t the same as needing them back, and how sometimes the deepest loss isn’t the person themselves. Sometimes we’re grieving the relati...

Have you ever made a decision that was right for you… but still felt guilty afterward? In this episode, we’re talking about why choosing yourself can feel so uncomfortable, especially if you’ve spent years prioritizing everyone else’s needs before your own. We’ll explore where that guilt comes from, why guilt isn’t always a sign that you’ve done something wrong, and how healing often asks us to di...

Before we even stop to ask ourselves what we’re feeling, many of us have already started building a case against our own emotions. “Maybe I’m overreacting.” “Other people have it worse.” “I shouldn’t let this bother me.” Sound familiar? In this episode, we’re unpacking why so many of us have learned to question our emotional experiences before we’ve ever become curious about them. We explore where...

Have you ever looked around and thought, “I have people in my life… so why do I still feel so alone?” In this week’s episode of Soulful Wahine , we’re talking about emotional loneliness , a type of loneliness that can be incredibly confusing because it isn’t always about being physically alone. We explore why emotional loneliness can be so difficult to recognize, why so many people feel guilty for...

Season 1 of Soulful Wahine started with conversations about healing, self-discovery, boundaries, attachment styles, nervous system regulation, and what it means to come home to yourself. But as this first season comes to a close, I’ve found myself asking a deeper question: What made healing necessary in the first place? In this season finale, I’m reflecting on the lessons this podcast has taught m...

When I left Maui at 17 years old, I thought I was simply moving away for college. What I didn’t realize was how much leaving Hawaiʻi would challenge me, shape me, and ultimately help me become the woman I am today. In this episode, I share my experience of moving from Maui to Utah—the culture shock, friendship struggles, loneliness, identity shifts, and lessons that came with building a life away...

One year later… and wow, what a journey it’s been 🥹🌺✨ In this special episode of Soulful Wahine , I’m reflecting on what this podcast has taught me about healing, womanhood, vulnerability, and finally finding my voice as a Hawaiian woman, therapist, and creator. 🤍 When I first started this podcast, I honestly didn’t realize how much I would grow alongside it. Over the past year, Soulful Wahine...

As we step into May—AAPI Heritage Month—I found myself reflecting on what this journey has actually looked like for me. It’s been 5 years of being a therapist, and almost a full year of Soulful Wahine… and if I’m being honest, I don’t always take the time to pause and really sit with that. So instead of jumping into another topic, I wanted to slow down and share what this work has genuinely taught...

Hot takes I have as a therapist… that might piss you off. In this episode, I’m getting real about the patterns I see over and over again—the ones that keep people stuck, even when they’re “doing the work.” We’re talking about the gap between awareness and change, why closure isn’t something other people give you, and how certain behaviors that look like growth are actually rooted in self-abandonme...

You don’t miss them. You miss the relief you felt when they finally treated you right. That’s not love… that’s a trauma bond. In this episode, we’re breaking down the difference between real love and emotional addiction—because trauma bonds aren’t just “toxic relationships.” They’re cycles built on inconsistency, highs and lows, and the nervous system getting hooked on temporary safety. If you’ve...

In this episode, I’m breaking down some of the toxic patterns I’ve had in relationships... but from a healed, accountable perspective. Not to shame myself, but to understand where they came from and how they showed up. I talk about: •Overreacting to conflict •Shutting down instead of communicating •Trying to leave before I could be left •And staying longer than I should have These weren’t just “ba...

Ever found yourself reacting to something minor… and then thinking, “why did that hit me so hard?” In this episode, I break down what’s actually happening when you get triggered—because it’s not about being dramatic, sensitive, or “doing too much.” We’re talking: •how your nervous system stores past experiences •why certain moments feel bigger than they “should” •and how old emotional wounds get a...

There was a version of me that thought I was doing everything right in relationships. I was patient. I was understanding. I avoided conflict. I tried to see the good in people. And for a long time… I thought that meant I was loving correctly. But when I look back now, I can see how often I was choosing them over me. I ignored red flags and convinced myself I was overthinking. I over-explained my f...

Have you ever felt anxious, overwhelmed, or even turned off when someone shows up for you in a healthy way? You’re not broken—and you’re not “too much.” Your nervous system may have simply learned that love isn’t safe. In this episode of Soulful Wahine , we’re diving into how relational trauma and past experiences can wire your body to associate love with inconsistency, anxiety, or emotional pain....

What happens when life teaches you that the world isn’t always safe… and your own instincts feel harder to trust? In this episode of Soulful Wahine , I explore what it really means to relearn safety after emotional pain, betrayal, trauma, or survival mode. When we’ve been hurt—by relationships, systems, or life experiences—our nervous system often adapts by becoming hyper-vigilant, guarded, or dis...

Not every season of growth is loud. Sometimes the most important seasons are the quiet ones. The ones where things slow down, momentum shifts, and you’re left questioning whether you’re still moving in the right direction. In this episode of Soulful Wahine , we’re talking about the emotional reality of slow seasons. The burnout that can come from constantly pushing yourself, the doubt that creeps...

October has always been my favorite month. It's my birth month, I love the color changes that come with fall, and all things SPOOKY! 👻🎃  It's also the birth month of my aunty and cousin, who I lost in the Maui Wildfires in August 2023. Over time, this month has become both joy and remembrance for me. In this bonus episode, I share what it's been like to hold space for both; celebr...

Toxic love feels magnetic, addictive, and nearly impossible to walk away from. But why? In this episode of Soulful Wahine , we're breaking down the red flags of toxic love, why we stay even when it hurts, and how these relationships can literally rewire our nervous system over time. Whether you've been caught in the cycle yourself or you're supporting someone you love, this conversa...

Before we can break cycles or step into healthier versions of ourselves, we first have to see the patterns we're caught in. In this episode, I dive into why awareness is the very first step of healing and why it has to be paired with grace instead of shame. Together we'll explore the blocks that keep us from seeing clearly, gentle tools to build self-awareness, and how slowing down helps...