Outwitting the Manipulator

In this episode of Outwitting the Manipulator, hosts Dennis Becker and Robin Golinski sit down with Stephanie MacAlister, founder of Virtua Connect Counseling Clinic (a cross-Canada virtual counseling practice), who has counseled both perpetrators and survivors of domestic violence. The conversation traces how verbal manipulation and isolation typically precede physical violence in relationships,...

What happens when you're grieving a parent and the sibling who should be your ally becomes your biggest obstacle? Nicole Hilgenkamp, founder of Your Parent's Keeper [ http://yourparentskeeper.com ], joins Robin to share her raw story of being the "designated daughter” - chosen to manage her mother's care, only to watch her oldest brother's manipulation tear the family apart. Robin breaks down the...

What happens when you have everything — the gated home, the charmed life, the husband everyone admires — and none of it is real? Author Mia J. Hanks spent 29 years married to a covert narcissist before walking away from it all. In this episode, Mia and Robin discover unsettling parallels in their stories: the slow erasure of identity, the moment a therapist's simple question exposed just how lost...

When a researcher who's spent 30 years studying human behavior from the chemical origins of life to modern relationships sits down with two communication coaches, the conversation goes places nobody planned. Dr. Jeremy Sherman, author of What's Up With A**holes?, challenges Robin and Dennis on the words we use, the rules we trust, and whether anyone can truly claim to be an expert on manipulation....

Dr. Dennis Becker and Robin Golinski discuss two manipulative tactics, Conflation, and Dictating Feelings, and how to protect against them in depth. They define conflation as intentionally twisting multiple issues together so quickly that it’s hard to separate them, using examples from everyday situations and politics, and emphasize that active listening and slowing down in the moment helps identi...

In this special episode, Robin Golinski and Dr. Dennis Becker break down the viral Candace Owens–Andrew Wilson exchange — not for its politics, but as a live case study in manipulation and communication style. Dennis opens by making the case that this wasn't a debate at all: no judge, no timing, no rules, which changes what counts as a fair tactic. From there the two dig into the nonverbal layer —...

Dennis and Robin discuss whether it is ever appropriate for regular people to manipulate, and how that differs from the harmful adult manipulation they focus on: communication used for the manipulator’s gain with little or no concern for the other person. They explore the slippery slope between persuasion and manipulation, emphasizing consent and how omission, euphemisms, and emotion-based messagi...

In this episode Dr. Dennis Becker and Robin Golinski delve into the nuanced world of conflict and manipulation with special guest Michael Lee, director of the Civility Initiative at the College of Charleston. They explore the dynamics of conflict avoidance, the power of curiosity in defusing tension, and the importance of embracing healthy conflict. Michael shares his experiences from his podcast,...

This episode features Robin and Dennis’s appearance on the Schein On podcast. Host Evan Schein interviews them about their 2021 book, Outwitting the Manipulator: Protecting Yourself in Real Time, which identifies 24 common manipulation tactics and focuses on defending yourself while manipulation is happening. Robin shares that the book was inspired by her own experience being manipulated and empha...

Grey Rock may protect you for a moment—but it won't change the game. Robin Golinski and Dr. Dennis Becker explain why lasting protection comes from understanding manipulation rather than simply avoiding it. They reveal the crucial difference between tactics and strategy, how manipulators deliberately condition targets to comply, and why recognizing predictable patterns allows you to respond strate...

This episode goes beyond tactics to the deeper work of healing. Michelle shares how her greatest victory wasn't changing her manipulative ex—it was changing herself. By learning to outwit rather than fight, she rebuilt her confidence, escaped the constant fight-or-flight response, and reclaimed her peace. Robin and Dennis explain why the goal is never to change the manipulator, but to understand t...

In this episode of Outwitting the Manipulator, Robin Golinski and Dr. Dennis Becker explore one of the most painful costs of manipulation: the erosion of trust — not only in others, but in yourself. They explain how manipulators often build trust quickly through charm, attention, false vulnerability, and perfectly timed support, especially when you are already vulnerable. The episode offers practi...

In this powerful episode of the Outwitting the Manipulator podcast, Robin Golinski and Dennis Becker explore how manipulators weaponize shame to control, silence, and destabilize others. They unpack the difference between shame and guilt, explain why shame is such a deeply rooted emotional trigger, and reveal how manipulators exploit personal insecurities, public embarrassment, and over-explaining...

This episode reveals how good intentions—like being liked or avoiding conflict—can make you vulnerable to manipulation. While most people act with positive motives, manipulators have one consistent goal: control. Seemingly helpful behaviors are often read as compliance, prompting manipulators to test and push boundaries further. The more you prioritize harmony, the more you risk being taken advant...

In this episode of Outwitting the Manipulator, Dr. Dennis Becker and Robin Golinski pull back the curtain on something most people miss entirely: The quiet ways your attention gets pulled—and why it matters more than anything being said. Through sharp insights and real-life moments, they reveal how quickly conversations can shift when your focus is redirected—and how that shift can change your dec...

A gold-medal moment turns into something way more personal: a Norwegian Olympian uses his post-win interview to deliver a tearful public apology to the girlfriend he cheated on—on a worldwide stage. Robin and Dr. Dennis Becker break down why this kind of “public remorse” can be more than heartfelt… it can be a high-powered influence move that quietly recruits everyone watching. They debate two com...

Robin and Dennis discuss manipulation with a special focus on Sandy Rosenthal's work following Hurricane Katrina. Sandy Rosenthal, founder of levies.org, shares her journey of uncovering the real cause behind the catastrophic flooding in New Orleans. She details the harassment and pushback she faced from the Army Corps of Engineers and the extensive damage caused due to improperly built levees. Sa...

Six months after first opening up about his past manipulative patterns, Gethro LaCroix returns with a striking update. He’s now over 400 days sober, committed to the gym, off social media, and deepening his connection to faith and community. He shares how he avoids slipping into old habits—womanizing, drinking, smoking—by remembering the chaos they caused and grounding himself in daily discipline....

Attorney Patricia Annino joins Robin to reveal the truth behind most “legal” family disputes: they aren’t legal at all — they’re emotional. Patricia explains that every family has a “ghost” (a buried issue like abuse, addiction, favoritism, or betrayal) that quietly drives manipulation, conflict, and expensive litigation. Until that ghost is named, nothing gets resolved. She shares a striking case...

Robin Golinski and Dr. Dennis Becker make a bold case: our culture often rewards manipulation because people fear backlash and comply. This episode flips that script. Robin and Dennis show how learning in-the-moment self-protection skills—clear boundaries, firm inflection, steady eye contact, succinct language—creates a personal and societal ripple effect: we stop feeding the very behavior we want...

When “free nights” and glossy model homes turn into endless fees and fine print, you may have stepped into the timeshare trap. In this episode, Robin and Dr. Dennis welcome Tim Downey—former 22-year timeshare owner turned advocate and founder of Truthful Timeshare Termination —who breaks down the industry’s most common manipulation tactics and the legal concepts that actually put you back in contr...

When you’re caught in the heat of manipulation, it’s easy to get swept away by emotions—and that’s exactly the point. In this episode of Outwitting the Manipulator, Robin Golinski and Dr. Dennis Becker reveal how manipulators deliberately choose words to ignite reactions, control momentum, and keep you off balance. They break down how to spot these verbal traps, why even “neutral” words can carry...

In this episode, Dr. Dennis Becker and Robin Golinski tackle a tough choice many people face—especially under manipulation—deciding whether you want to be liked or respected. They explain why this binary decision can be a trap, particularly for “pathos” personalities who lead with emotion, and how manipulators exploit that vulnerability. Using insights from ethos–pathos–logos communication styles,...

Dennis and Robin discuss how manipulators use questions as a tactic to control and confuse their targets. The hosts offer valuable insights on how to recognize and respond to such questions effectively. Techniques include maintaining neutrality, avoiding defensive answers, and using non-verbal cues. They also explore various types of manipulators (ethos, pathos, logos) and provide strategies tailo...

Robin and Dennis interview Brittanie about her personal experiences with manipulation. Brittanie shares her background, growing up in a family with a manipulative dynamic, and how this has influenced her own relationships. She discusses the challenges of co-parenting with a manipulative ex and stresses the importance of being self-aware and vigilant. The conversation covers techniques for neutrali...