Empowered to Connect Podcast

What if the trust we struggle to give, to God, to people, even to ourselves, traces back to how our earliest needs were met? Counselor, author, and trainer Melinda Cathey joins Jesse to talk about how attachment shapes our ability to trust, why caregivers often have to start with their own stories, and what a corrective experience looks like for a child who has experienced stress, trauma, and adve...

FASD specialist and adoptive mom Sandra Flach joins Jesse to break down fetal alcohol spectrum disorder: what it actually is, why it hides behind behavior nobody understands, and why it's one of the most common and least discussed disabilities in foster care and adoption. Sandra shares her own family's diagnosis journey and the accommodations-based approach that finally helped her understand her s...

What does open adoption actually mean, and what happens when fear gets in the way of staying connected? Annie Iverson, adoptive mom of four and creator of Write It & Remember It, joins us to talk honestly about openness, boundaries, and the small, sustainable habits that keep birth family connections alive. Episode Bullets Openness lives on a spectrum, from a card a few times a year to regular...

If bedtime in your house feels like a nightly negotiation, or you're the one lying in the dark at 2 a.m. wondering why nothing seems to work, this conversation is for you. Pediatric sleep consultant Allison Ezell spent years stuck between a sleep doctor telling her to sleep train and a TBRI therapist affirming the trauma-informed parenting she knew her son needed, unable to find anyone who could b...

What if the parent report card you've been grading yourself on this whole time was never actually yours to fill out? Episode summary bullets: Nicole Barlow, longtime foster and adoptive mom and one of our Cultivate Connection facilitators, shares how she went from feeling like a "rockstar" foster parent to realizing she was in way over her head. Why the peer-to-peer model at the heart of Cultivate...

Ever notice how a bedtime standoff, a backtalk moment, or a flat-out refusal can turn into you against your kid? Jesse sits down with Mo & Tona Ottinger for an honest look at what happens when parenting starts to feel like a competition, and why "winning" a moment can quietly cost you the relationship. This one includes real, unfiltered stories (including a New Year's Eve bedtime battle that's...

Some books change the way we see. Rhonda Roorda's In Their Own Voices did that for countless adoptive families, including our own here at ETC. In this episode, Rhonda returns to walk us through her debut memoir, Torn from the Root , and the four questions at its center: who was going to get hurt, what was it going to cost, who would be held accountable, and what hope could there be for repair. It...

You said it would be the last warning. You meant it this time. And somehow you are standing in the hallway with your voice raised, wondering how you ended up here again. If consequences have quietly become your first move, and you are starting to suspect they are not actually working, this conversation is for you. What we cover in this episode Why a consequence is so often the first thing we reach...

Summer is here, and Jesse and Tona are keeping it real: they love summer, and it also asks a lot of them. In this episode, they sit down (virtually, because summer pivots happen to hosts too) to talk honestly about what it actually feels like to parent through the loss of structure — and what it can look like to find your footing in the middle of the season. They cover everything from the emotiona...

Why do kids lie, even when the truth would have been easier? This week, we’re replaying an oldie but a goodie: Let's Talk About Lying with Robyn Gobbel. Lying is usually about fear and felt safety, not character. This one will change how you respond. Chapters (00:00:04) - Summer Survival Kit (00:01:29) - Robin Goble on Lying (00:04:08) - We Only Lie Because It's Okay to Tell the Truth (00:10:29) -...

Catch the replay! Mona is a Pediatric Psychologist and the author of  Beyond Behaviors, among several other books. If you've ever read Beyond Behaviors, you know how brilliant she is! In this episode, we talk about the Brain - Body - Behavior connection and why it is absolutely essential for parents and caregivers to understand. Struggling with perplexing behavior in your home? This may be the epi...

Episode 237 is live! ️ If someone you love is in the middle of a new placement (whether that's a newborn, a toddler, or a teenager), this one is for the people standing beside them. Tona, Becca, and Jesse get practical about what it actually looks like to show up well for foster and adoptive families. Not just in the first week, but in the long haul. What's the most meaningful thing someone did fo...

Community can feel different when your parenting journey looks different. Sometimes your circle shifts. Sometimes it shrinks. And sometimes it stretches you in ways you didn’t expect. But here’s what’s true: you are not the only one figuring it out as you go. Ask for help. Say the honest thing. Find people who truly get it, and hold onto the ones who love you even when they don’t fully understand....

In this episode Becca, Jesse, and Tona walk us through what it looked like for them at the beginning of their parenting journey. Starting foster care, adoption, or any new parenting role can feel disorienting and overwhelming. It won’t always feel natural or easy, and you may not feel an instant connection. That’s normal! There will be stress, uncertainty, and moments where you question yourself,...

Let’s talk about the “Wall Between Us”, the invisible, protective bricks we build from past hurt that quietly block connection with the people we love most. Our snapping, withdrawing, overreacting, and people-pleasing once protected us. But what if they’re now keeping us stuck? Healing doesn’t start with fixing our kids. It starts with noticing our own “shark music;” noticing what is keeping us fr...

What if connection is one of the most powerful tools in the classroom? In this episode, Marti Smith and Amie Huggins join us to share about their new book The Connected Classroom and what they’ve learned working with educators inside real school systems. They talk about why building trust with students matters so much—and how connection creates the safety kids need to engage, learn, and grow. If y...

Does your nervous system feel like it’s been in survival mode for a long time? This episode is for you. We sat down in person with Melissa Corkum to talk about burnout, blocked care, and why connection can start to feel like a shock instead of a reward. A few takeaways: ✨ Emotional pain and physical pain activate the same parts of the brain. ✨ Blocked care isn’t a character flaw — it’s a protect...

On this next part of our mini-series “When You’re Tired”, we reflect on being emotionally tired. It is the quiet exhaustion that comes from caring deeply, showing up consistently, and holding space for others. Dr. Archandria Owens and Jesse discuss naming and expressing emotions, unmet expectations, and explore gentle ways to care for ourselves when we are exhausted in this particular way.

On today’s episode, Jesse and Jill Stockburger dive into a big question: What do we do when we’re living in chronic stress? They talk about how stress, adversity, and trauma impact us on a deeper level, and what it actually feels like to carry these experiences in our bodies. If you’re feeling tired in your body, you are not alone.

In today’s episode, Jesse and Tona take a deep dive into the tension between connection and compliance in everyday parenting moments. Through real-life stories (yes, even dishes), we explore how prioritizing relationship doesn’t mean abandoning expectations and structure. Instead, it creates the foundation for lasting responsibility and trust. Join us for a thoughtful conversation about playing th...

New semester! Same kids, different needs. As the second half of the school year begins, routines may get messy, expectations may shift, and those old pain points may resurface. In this episode Jesse, Becca, and Dr. Rachel talk about pausing, noticing what’s not working, and making small, doable adjustments (at home and at school). From the kiddos to adults, we can all find ways to revamp our expec...

A quote that we posted, “Your willingness to come back and repair matters more than getting it right the first time” went viral. On this week’s episode of the Empowered to Connect Podcast, we dig into why rupture shows up so often in our families and why it’s completely normal. Rupture happens because we get tired, distracted, overwhelmed, or just out of sync. In our homes, we’re our most unfilter...

It's that time of year again - time to take a deep breath and spend hours and hours with family members you may or may not want to see, eat foods that may or may not be easy for your kids to eat and spend the next month or so with the dull hum of presents and high expectations accompanying your every move. Happy Holidays everyone! In all seriousness, whether you live for this season or loathe this...

In this episode, Becca, Jesse, and Tona dive into a timely topic: gratitude. With the holiday season in full swing, we can’t help but ask, should children be grateful? If not, how do we scaffold gratitude for our kiddos? Tune in for an honest conversation about expectations, empathy, and what gratitude really means. We share personal stories, a few laughs, and some surprising insights about how gr...

Enjoy this replay of From Trauma and Loss to Healing and Empowerment with Cam Lee Small. One of our favorite Therapists/Adoptee Voices joins us on the pod to talk about lots of things including his book The Adoptees Journey: From Trauma and Loss to Healing and Empowerment. We talk with Cam about everything from how identities are formed in adoptees to things he wishes adoptive parents knew to his...