Beach Too Sandy, Water Too Wet

I wouldn't ask for underwear if I didn't need the underwear. Listen to Who Shat on the Floor at my Wedding? And Other Crimes wherever you get your podcasts and visit whoshatontheflooratmywedding.com for more! For a limited time our listeners are getting a free full sized Mascara on their first purchase when they head to jonesroadbeauty.com and use code BEACHTOOSANDY at checkout.  Go to zenni....

A belly full of white dog turds. Right now, Fi is offering my listeners up to 30% off and free shipping when you visit fitracking.com and enter promo code BEACH. “Treat, don’t trick, your teeth this month and go to shopremi.com/beach and use code BEACH at checkout for 50% off with Remi Club. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#...

I hate when they put wang in my food. Follow Michelle on Instagram at @michcoll or @The Michelle Collins Show We're going on tour! Buy tickets at https://www.beachtoosandy.com/ Book a complimentary financial planning call with an Arca advisor at arcawealth.com/beach . Go to dipseastories.com/beach for your first week FREE - then 25% off.  Nutrafol is offering our listeners $10 off your first...

A stained crotch is not the experience we wanted for you. Go to zenni.com/podcast and use code PODCAST15 for 15% off your first order, plus free shipping on all US orders over $65. Get free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Download the Quince app for app-exclusive offers, or go to quince.com/beachtoosandy . For a limited time get 40% off your first order PLUS get a free item in every bo...

The Mona Lisa, a dildo, or a pug? Visit progressive.com and give the Name Your Price® tool a try.  Prioritize your teeth this month and go to shopremi.com/beach and use code BEACH at checkout for 50% off with Remi Club. Shop now at fabletics.com/beach to get 70–80% off everything when you sign up as a new VIP.  Thousands of people are already using Rula to get affordable, high-quality th...

Just a bunch of angry elves. Support Smoking Werewolf Productions here: https://gofund.me/5766bf50d For a limited time get 40% off your first order PLUS get a free item in every box for life at hungryroot.com/beachtoosandy and use code BEACHTOOSANDY .  Right now, Nutrafol is offering our listeners $10 off your first month’s subscription and free shipping when you visit nutrafol.com and enter...

R-r-r-r-remix Head to talkiatry.com/beach to complete the short assessment and get matched with an in‐network psychiatrist in just a few minutes.  Download Cash App Today: https://click.cash.app/ui6m/m5k6si8w  Visit Progressive.com and see if you can enjoy a little extra cash back.  Go to shopremi.com/beach and use code BEACH at checkout for 50% off with Remi Club. See Privacy Polic...

Anything that contains and can contain is contained within the container. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Even Kazoo people use toothpaste. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Two people wanted to vomit and no one did. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

If they don't care about ducks, they don't care about you either. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

How do you think shoes feel about being entered by feet? See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

A cucumber is not an avocado. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Statistically speaking you're probably no longer a listener. If your glasses are overdue for a refresh, now is the time. Go to zenni.com/podcast and use code PODCAST15 for 15% off your first order.  Thousands of people are already using Rula to get affordable, high-quality therapy that’s actually covered by insurance. Visit Rula.com/beachtoosandy to get started.  Let Rocket Money help yo...

This stuff literally tastes like blue cheese and smells like cat piss. Donate to Smoking Werewolf Productions - Fright Film 2026! https://gofund.me/5766bf50d Head to talkiatry.com/beach to complete the short assessment and get matched with an in‐network psychiatrist in just a few minutes.  For a limited time, Nutrafol is offering our listeners $10 off your first month’s subscription and free...

Nothing about carrots makes me think bougie Go to zenni.com/podcast and use code PODCAST15 for 15% off your first order. Sign up for your one-dollar-per-month trial today at shopify.com/toosandy . For a limited time, get 20% off sitewide at bollandbranch.com/toosandy with code TOOSANDY . Go to myskylight.com/beach for $30 off your 15 inch calendar. See if you’re eligible to save money when you bun...

Soggy White Bread was my nickname in high school. Visit Progressive.com and give the Name Your Price® tool a try. Go to shopremi.com/BEACH and use code BEACH   at checkout for 50% off with Remi Club Subscribe & Save. Save 20% Off Honeylove by going to honeylove.com/beachtoosandy ! #honeylovepod Go to  quince.com/beachtoosandy for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Thous...

If they remove the froyo it'll make my life a living hell For a limited time, Nutrafol is offering our listeners $10 off your first month’s subscription and free shipping when you visit nutrafol.com and enter promo code BEACHTOOSANDY  Visit Progressive.com and see if you can enjoy a little extra cash back.  Head to Talkiatry.com/BEACH to complete the short assessment and get matched with...

Shakespeare coined that term hangy downy bits. Go to homechef.com/beachtoosandy for 50% OFF your first box and free dessert for life!  Right now, Skylight is offering our listeners $30 off their 15 inch Calendars by going to myskylight.com/beach. Visit progressive.com and give the Name Your Price® tool a try.  Let Rocket Money help you reach your financial goals faster. Join at rocketmon...

Hyperspermia, which was new to me Visit Progressive.com and give the Name Your Price® tool a try.  For a limited time, Honeylove is offering up to 50% off sitewide during their Memorial Day sale. Use our exclusive link to shop at honeylove.com/beachtoosandy. Go to shopremi.com/beach and use code BEACH   at checkout for 50% off with Remi Club Subscribe & Save. Start your business toda...

Get thee to a gnomery! Visit progressive.com and see if you can enjoy a little extra cash back. For a limited time, Nutrafol is offering our listeners $10 off your first month’s subscription and free shipping when you visit nutrafol.com and enter code BEACHTOOSANDY. For a limited time, Home Chef is offering my listeners 50% off and free shipping for your first box PLUS free dessert for life! Go to...

Look at them yo-yos, that's the way you do it. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Debbie's getting off on this power trip… as she should See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring.... See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Rumors have gotten started that I have irritable bowel syndrome. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .