Absolute Cuts With Mark Nelson & Ryan Cullen

"Sometime I doubt your commitment to Sparkle Motion." Episode 40 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 2001, world saving, portal opening, 6ft rabbiting classic Donnie Darko. Mark and Ryan talk about Cullen getting a cat, teenage angst and why you are a bellend if you have an expensive bike.  Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy the podcast, what guests yo...

"Gentlemen, let's broaden our minds." Episode 39 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1989, caped crusading, rhubarb rubbing, pale moonlight dancing classic Batman.  Mark and Ryan talk about horny Joker, the Bat Cock and take smelling salts during the record.  Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy the podcast, what guests you'd like to see on in future epi...

"People look at me and see my brother." Episode 38 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1999, kerb stomping, flag waving, shower assaulting classic American History X. Mark and Ryan talk about the Oscars, Edward Furlong and how many books Hitler wrote.  Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy the podcast, what guests you'd like to see on in future episodes a...

"Those damn Gideons" Episode 37 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1996, mask wearing, disavowing, NOC list stealing classic Mission Impossible.  Mark and Ryan talk about peanuts, old email addresses and the worst thing you could steal from the CIA. Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy the podcast, what guests you'd like to see on in future episodes and...

"I'd suck a fart out her asshole and hold it like a bong hit" Episode 36 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 2007, frisbee throwing, breast showing, penguin's ass eating shitshow Good Luck Chuck.  Mark and Ryan talk about Cullen being in Australia, red pandas and they struggle to convey how truly truly awful this film is.  Please get in touch and let us know if you...

"Requesting permission to shake the hand of the daughter of the bravest man I've ever met" Episode 35 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1998, oil drilling, astronaut training, don't wanna miss a thinging classic Armageddon, Mark and Ryan talk about accidental racism, animal crackers in pubic hair and how mental a bastard Michael Bay is.  Please get in touch and le...

"Wilsonnnnnnnnn" Episode 34 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 2000, parcel delivering, fire starting, raft building classic Castaway, Mark and Ryan talk about buying a gun, cursed hats and how long it would take us to shag a volleyball.  Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy the podcast, what guests you'd like to see on in future episodes and to suggest...

"If you're a bird then I'm a bird" Episode 33 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 2004, emotionally manipulating, care home dying, too many birding film The Notebook. Mark and Ryan talk about Tenerife, Skegness and whether Henry Cavill is better looking than Ryan Gosling.  Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy the podcast, what guests you'd like to see on...

"Either we heal as a team, or we’re going to crumble, inch by inch, play by play, til we’re finished." Episode 32 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1999, quarterbacking, tight ending', inch by inching classic Any Given Sunday.  Mark and Ryan talk about Cullen being hit by cars, dodgy NFL team names and Willie, Willie Beaman.  Please get in touch and let us know if...

"I have been offered a lot for my work but never everything" Episode 31 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1960, gunslingin', bandit chasin', village savin' The Magnificent Seven. Mark and Ryan talk Nelson's latest injury, cowboy names and Cullen's taxes\. Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy the podcast, what guests you'd like to see on in future episo...

"You're my boy Blue" Episode 30 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 2003, going streaking, tranquiliser darting, earmuffing classic Old School. Mark and Ryan talk fraternities, rider demands and argue a lot about Saltburn. Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy the podcast, what guests you'd like to see on in future episodes and to suggest a film. Email : ...

"Can you fly Bobby?" Episode 29 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1987, gun twirling, toxic wasting, dollar buying classic Robocop. Mark and Ryan talk about the Epstein List, what they got up to over Christmas, and why Murphy dying is all his partner's fault.  Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy the podcast, what guests you'd like to see on in future...

"I love that word, 'relationship.' Covers all manner of sins, doesn't it?" Episode 28 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 2003, spouse betraying, sex obsessed, fat shaming, Christmas classic Love Actually.  Mark and Ryan talk about every single thing that is wrong with this absolute bin fire of a film. (Mark actually quite likes it). Please get in touch and let us k...

"Attaboy Clarence" Episode 27 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1946, moon lassoing, wings achieving, Christmas classic, It's A Wonderful Life.  Mark and Ryan talk about Christmas gigs, competitive drinking and why life would be better if Ryan had never been born. Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy the podcast, what guests you'd like to see on in fut...

“Let the kids know that from now on, it's El Padre” Episode 25 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 2017, Bono singing, telephone pole cutting, Christmas classic, Daddy's Home 2.  Mark and Ryan talk about auditions, whether you should say "I love You" to your family, and why John Cena does so much charity work. Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy the pod...

“Keep the change, ya filthy animal.” Episode 25 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1990, child abandoning, burglar torturing, Christmas classic Home Alone.  Mark and Ryan talk about jumpers, Ryan's first job, and Mark offers up some wild theories about the McAllister family. Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy the podcast, what guests you'd like to see...

“When I was a kid, we were so poor that the roaches was on welfare.” Episode 24 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 2001, Apollo playing, body inhabiting, comedy classic Down To Earth.  Mark and Ryan talk about meeting Stifler’s Mom, John Lewis ads, and where they stand in the pecking order of comedy.  Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy the podcast, wh...

“Hey, you guys” Episode 23 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1985 treasure hunting, truffle shuffling, adventure classic The Goonies. Mark and Ryan talk about inhaler sex, how to pronounce words, and what exactly happened to Sloth. Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy the podcast, what guests you'd like to see on in future episodes and to suggest a fil...

“As far back as I can remember I always wanted to be a gangster” Episode 22 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1990 shoe shine box getting, garlic slicing, gangster epic Goodfellas. Mark and Ryan talk about Nelson's hatred of people on Instagram, Kit Kats, and whether we could be made men" Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy the podcast, what guests yo...

“Your mother’s ass is so hairy…it looks like Don King’s about to pop out and say, “Only in America!” Episode 21 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 2004 prosthetic, race fest, White Chicks. Mark and Ryan talk about celebrities dying, Terry Crews and some real tough Would You Rather questions. Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy the podcast, what guests...

"Hail Paimon" Episode 20 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 2018 grief stricken head spinner, Hereditary, in the second of the Halloween Specials.  Mark and Ryan talk about Halloween costumes, seances and the 7 Kings of Hell. Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy the podcast, what guests you'd like to see on in future episodes and to suggest a film. Emai...

"It's all for you" Episode 19 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1976 demonic child horror classic, The Omen, in the first of the Halloween Specials.  Mark and Ryan talk about first class flying, looking at your arse in the mirror and Cullen's weird dream. Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy the podcast, what guests you'd like to see on in future episo...

"I can't believe I married a leprechaun" Episode 18 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 2007 mentally manipulative rom com PS I Love You.  Mark and Ryan talk about Belgium, the worst lap dances and how racist this film is towards the Irish. Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy the podcast, what guests you'd like to see on in future episodes and to sugges...

"Can't have a bunch of old pregnant bitches running around. That's crazy" Episode 17 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 2007 accidental pregnancy comedy Knocked Up.  Mark and Ryan talk about biscuits, condoms and Cullen's wild Catholic Church theory. Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy the podcast, what guests you'd like to see on in future episodes an...

"ヒロキさん、本当にかっこいいですね" Episode 15 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 2000 classroom beat em up film Battle Royale.  Mark and Ryan talk about massive balls, the good old days of Limewire and which one of them would be killed first.  Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy the podcast, what guests you'd like to see on in future episodes and to...