The Family Archives

Long time listeners of our show may remember a period when Cy used to come into the studio like every other day. Before that period, he came in for the first time, right near the very beginning. So early, in fact, that we were still broadcasting out of Tom's basement because we weren't sure this show would last. Well it definitely lasted, as did the many episodes with Cy Amundson. And if the show...

This is a Catholic episode, so to listen, you either need to be Catholic or hold a rosary the entire time. Sorry, that's the rule. It's in the bible somewhere I'm sure. You can also gain temporary favor with the Holy See by watching Siobhan's movie, Shelter In Solitude, which comes out on the 6th. Since the entire world is apparently on strike, you should have plenty of free time to watch movies....

You know how they say there are two things you should never bring up in polite discussion: religion and politics? How about an entire hour of just those two things? That's right, we're going Full Impolite. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Frank's back, and this time he's in person. After all, he is live at Acme today and tomorrow. He's also a modern day philosopher. Bet you didn't know that part, did you? It's true. We discuss topics like raising children, education, and the definition of "comedy". And we all do it in Donald Trump's voice. Well, one of us did. We'll let you guess who. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcast...

The strike seems to finally be coming to a close maybe, even though they just added video games to the pyre. We speculate that you'll be seeing a lot of "no AI" clauses in contracts in the near future. It won't write our shows, it won't act, but it will diagnose and treat your medical problems. I don't know, something about giving a robot access to scalpels and anesthetic drugs seems a lot more co...

Do you freeze up when you get put on the spot? Of course you do. Almost everyone does. That's why you need to learn to both think faster and talk smarter. You can do that by reading a book called Think Faster, Talk Smarter. It's very up front about its contents. Maybe if you learn to think faster you'll also get better at pickleball, which is important because everyone on the entire planet is play...

This week, Fancy Ray returned. In 2017, he simply arrived. It was his first visit, and both the show and the very planet itself have changed quite a bit since then. Ray seems unperturbed. In fact, he may even be higher energy now than he was six years ago. Now's your chance to compare and contrast for yourself. Disclaimer: this episode isn't technically "lost" in that it can be found by digging ar...

Last time Fancy Ray was in studio, we were deep in the heart of a pandemic. Apparently the pandemic is coming back, which of course means Ray must come back. Actually, it's a complete coincidence. We just like finding patterns. Here's another pattern: whenever he's in, you can expect the energy level to hover somewhere around "very high". How does he do it? We may never know. All we can do is bene...

In the distant past, everything was local. The news was local, entertainment was largely local, and even controversy was local. Sometimes it was a little too local, like when the guy across the street is the wrong denomination of your religion. Even then, these were the things that gave communities their identity. Globalization has stripped away the uniqueness of our neighborhoods, and whether you...

Medical science has come a long way in the past hundred years. Even the past ten. And while getting here has been a combined effort of countless people, Mary Lasker and her husband Albert were among the first to realize that the federal government and its infinite money could be leveraged to improve cancer outcomes. Since then, cancer has slowly gone from a virtually guaranteed death sentence to s...

Did you ever think you'd live to hear Pixar be called "mediocre" and see people rolling their eyes when Disney comes out with a new take on a classic fairy tale? Well, you made it. It's the future, and Walt Disney isn't here to save us. Everything they've made must be remade through a feminist, intersectional, non-dwarfism-having lens. Fun? What's that? Movies are about the message, not about enjo...

Punctuality is very important here on the podcast, which is why we had Frank on the show. He's always on time, unlike certain other comedians who shall remain nameless. He's also a connoisseur of fine glass art, which we didn't know until today but consider it a bonus. If you want to witness the punctuality firsthand, Frank will be at Acme on the 27th and 28th. The glass pieces are not guaranteed...

John Lassman, known as The Chucker to his fans and Lassmental to his friends, has been gracing the airwaves for decades. His most famous moments came about during a period when celebrities could still be joked around with and not immediately stomp away in a huff. Okay, some celebrities could do that. The 80s and 90s truly were a magical time. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices....

All we do on this show is talk. Persuasion is a form of talking. That's why Carlos is here to persuade us to talk about persuasion. Which is talking. If this all sounds confusing, it's because we're not authors. Carlos is, however, so let him doing the explaining instead. And that's not the only explanation you'll get today - Josh Arnold is here (in spirit), and Bill from the Ford plant calls in t...

Today, instead of cars, we talk about bars and cabs. But if you think about it, they're all basically the same word. Bar is car with a B, and cab is also car with a B. It's only natural that we'd get them confused and do Bar Cabbing Secrets instead. To add to the confusion, we have two Toms in studio too. It's a real mind bender, this one. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com...

When you think Real Housewives, what do you think? Annoying bickering? Constant fighting? How about a peaceful Christian who just wants everyone to get along? If you guessed that last one, you might be a fan of The Real Housewives of Orange County, because Lydia starred in it for several seasons and that's how she describes herself. But the real question is, what's her opinion on the Maccabees? In...

Today we're going to cover the entertainment industry. Did you know that it's somewhat unethical? Yeah, we were surprised too. Turns out people do all sorts of things when you give them the promise of money and power. Once you actually give them money and power, it gets a whole lot worse. That's why we choose to remain humble. Can't let all this fame and fortune go to our heads. Learn more about y...

The thrilling tale of Tom vs. The Internet continues. This time it offers Costaki a nostalgic trip back into his childhood, because apparently the internet was somewhat crappy back in the day. Remember dialup? Some things are best left in the past. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

You know how we often lament that you can't say anything without getting in trouble these days? It's not strictly true. We can't say anything. You can't say anything. But some people, for some reason, seem to be able to say anything they want. Joey is one of those people. He was also one of the first ever guests on our show. Remember when we used to put out censored radio edits, manually editing o...

Before there was Car Selling Secrets, there was Ar Talk. No, not Car Talk. That's copyrighted. Aside from the name, it's pretty much the CSS you know and love. Doug's here. It's got a groovy theme song. We barely talk about cars. You'll feel right at home, I'm sure. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

And so ends our day of sweltering behind a microphone. After this we probably went and got a bunch of cookies and deep fried whatevers. Also a turkey leg. Nothing cools you down quite like a steaming hot turkey leg. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Ten years ago, the family decided to broadcast live from the Minnesota state fair. Last week, Tom did it again. It's called building suspense. Did it work? Why not compare them back to back? We've blown off ten years of dust to bring you part 1 of the first visit, and tomorrow you'll get part 2, just in time for the end of the fair. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoi...

Tom has been called away to loftier endeavors, so today's show is just Andy and Gelfand talking about their health problems. Just kidding. Josh Arnold swoops in to save the day with a topic that's equally serious but much more pleasant: money. Sometimes you get more, like when you invest wisely. Sometimes you don't, like when you gamble. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/a...

Are you a Barbie girl? You're certainly in a Barbie world, and there's nothing you can do about it. You can thank the Germans for that. That's where Ruth Handler got the idea for Barbie in the first place. Although if you follow the chain back far enough, it's ultimately the fault of cavemen and their cavechildren, as usual. For those of us who don't live in prehistoric times, we have a much more...

What happens when you sell your likeness to Hollywood? They put your face on cereal boxes and in video games, right? Pretty benign? Not any more. Now you have to worry about them creating an AI homunculus that looks and sounds like you. And the worst part is, you don't even get paid for it. That's why it's important to get a good agent. Or you could just go settle Mars, where money doesn't exist a...