Kim and Ket Stay Alive... Maybe

Ket tells Kim about the newest phenomenon, M3GAN, starring Allison Williams, Brian Jordan Alvarez and the next gay horror icon! Let’s get one thing straight, M3gan is NOT a Furby.  The girls also discuss the practices of the children of 1512. Also, if anything should happen to Ket or Arik, can someone please go observe Kim with their cats for 30-40 minutes? Most importantly, we’ll learn if Ki...

Kim tells Ket about the creepy AF Smile starring Sosie Bacon (Shabacon for short). The girls are positively apoplectic about 80-hour work weeks and people doing their OWN BLUDGEONING. They also would like all closets to have doors and Kim would like to enjoy her tuna melts IN PRIVATE, thank you very much! Most importantly, we’ll learn if Ket will live or die in Smile. Writer/Dir. Parker Finn Produ...

Ket tells Kim about the prequel to X starring Mia Goth ::insert “we’re not worthy” gif from Wayne’s World:: and poor man’s Henry Cavill, David Corenswet. First thing’s first: regardless of the outcome of the Super Bowl, Kim would like to make it very clear that Philly was the best (worst?) at the Spanish Flu. F! L! U! FLU! Most importantly, we’ll learn if Kim will live or die in Pearl.  Dir....

Kim tells Ket about the first installment of their two week double feature, X, by Ti West! So, of course, they debate which insect would be the sexiest. They also determine which names are best for yelling. Next week, we’re gonna dive into just what makes Pearl tick. Most importantly, we’ll learn if Ket will live or die in X. Dir. Ti West Writer Ti West Check out Bridget's online shop: www.thevelv...

Ket tells Kim about the 2022 hit, The Black Phone, starring Ethan Hawke of Reality Bites and White Fang… but beefier… and creepier. Ketryn reveals which very popular theme from a very popular TV show would be her walk out music.  Kim’s is obvious… but she can’t remember it. Most importantly, we’ll learn if Kim will stay alive in The Black Phone. Dir. Scott Derrickson Writers Scott Derrickson,...

Kim tells Ket about Jordan Peele’s Nope, starring Daniel Kaluuya, Keke Palmer and Steven Yeun. Ketryn learns she has an animosity towards Wendy Williams buried deep inside. The girls also contemplate the best names for your baby. Categories include such things as “Chef Boyardee Inspired Names.” Most importantly, we’ll learn if Ket will live or die in Nope. Dir. Jordan Peele Writer Jordan Peele Sup...

This January has a Friday the 13th in it, so, you know what that means! Ket tells Kim about Friday the 13th Part 6: Jason Lives! This movie knew the assignment. The girls were highly impressed with the lack of boob. Ket was really impressed by Jason's use of forest. Most importantly, we’ll learn if Kim will live or die in Friday the 13th Part 6: Jason Lives Dir. Tom McLoughlin Writer Tom McLoughli...

Kim tells Ket about the Hulu original, New Year, New You! So, naturally, they spend a large percentage of the episode discussing, and making a metaphor of, Ratatouille. They also copyright a new “tougher” brand of windows. And ultimately, they prefer their bookclub over whatever the hell this was. Most importantly, we’ll learn if Ket will live or die in New Year, New You. Dir. Sophia Takal Writer...

Kim and Ket are traveling for the holidays so they’re revisiting one of their favorites but with some BRAND NEW CONTENT! Ket has now seen it with her own eyeballs and Kim is still listening to the soundtrack 3 years later, in a post-COVID world! Times are wild, man. Kim tells Ket about Anna and the Apocalypse starring Ella Hunt, Malcolm Cumming and Ben Wiggins. Kim’s little musical heart sang alon...

Merry Christmas, Sammies! Looks like you made it onto Santa’s “Nice” List this year! So instead of a lump of coal, you get a bonus episode! After a quick message from Kim & Ket, travel back in time to our VERY FIRST live show — live, as in performing for a live audience of actual humans! This is a snippet from Episode 55, the podcast’s one year anniversary show/unofficial after party for Midsu...

Ket told Kim about our third Patron pick of the season: A Christmas Horror Story. Here is where we learn that Krampus was kind of a Daddy. The girls also relive the horrors of their college freshman acting class monologues. Ket puts those skills to use to bring this script to life! They also are very grateful for the Changeling skills they’ve developed over the years. Most importantly, we’ll learn...

Kim told Ket about our second Patron pick of the season: Silent Night from 2012… or the 80’s. We’re unclear. Kim and Ket decide to pick up new weapons for this one. Ket, a scythe. And Kim… well, duh. A Chainsaw. Jaime King gives a tour de force performance in a real turd pie. And Malcolm McDowell ate every single set piece there was. Most importantly, we’ll learn if Ket will live or die in Silent...

The Patrons voted and our first installment of Holiday Horrordays is ::drumroll:: RARE EXPORTS! They voted for Ket to tell Kim this gem. So, hang onto your jingle balls and pass the ginger bread. It’s the most wonderful time of the year! For some merry trafficking! Most importantly, we’ll learn if Kim will live or die in Rare Exports. Dir. Jalmari Helander Writers Jalmari Helander, Juuso Helander,...

Kim tells Ket about the acclaimed Barbarian starring Bill Skarsgaardsaarsgard and Justin Longbeard. Ket thought the most she had to worry about was sharing an AirBnB with Pennywise. She was… mistaken. Just let Mommy give you her ole’ crusty teat! Most importantly, we’ll learn if Ket will live or die in Barbarian. Dir. Zach Cregger Writer Zach Cregger Support the girls on PATREON for lots of awesom...

Ket tells Kim about the Thanksgiving Day classic, Pilgrim! And let me tell you, the horrors of family drama, political arguments ‘round the stuffing, white washing of the “first Thanksgiving,” are NOTHING compared to the horror… of METHOD ACTING! So come all ye Milgrims and Filgrims! Most importantly, we’ll learn if Kim will live or die in Pilgrim. Dir. Marcus Dunstan Writers Marcus Dunstan, Patri...

Kim tells Ket about Terrified starring everyone’s nightmares. Not that they needed another reason to be afraid of what’s under their beds, but the girls will only be skateboarding to and from them from here on out. If anyone needs help, Kim’s ready to ride by on her little help bike (Brrrring Brrrring) with a little helper’s note! You’re welcome! Also, the girls would like to politely decline thei...

Ket tells Kim about the new Hellraiser, out now, on Hulu! And it is exquisitely disturbing. The girls start off with a VERY exciting update about Ket’s… I mean, Kim’s personal life. The girls also have to go over very basic survival skills we should all know by now, like don’t go through a secret door in a creepy mansion. Also, there is a teacher shortage… Priestess Pinhead is ready to step in. Mo...

Kim tells Ket about The Strangers starring their childhood alums, Scott Speedman and Liv Tyler. Ket has definitely seen this before but… GOLDFISH BRAIN SAVES THE DAY AGAIN! We meet the newest member of The Burpsmap Family tree. Arik tries to be quiet and fails miserably and adorably. Most importantly, we’ll learn if Ket will live or die in The Strangers.  Dir. Bryan Bertino Writer Bryan Berti...

Ket tells Kim about Werewolf by Night starring Gael Garcia Bernal. The girls are back together and it feels so good!! We have yet another applicant to Willy’s Wonderland: Ulysses Bloodstone is throwing his… uh… head in the ring. The girls really missed each other. Most importantly, we’ll learn if Kim will live or die in Werewolf by Night. Dir. Michael Giacchino Writers Heather Quinn, Peter Cameron...

Ket tells a movie to… wait for it… podcast producer/editor/bestie/husband extraordinaire, Arik Martin! Kim is in Grease, playing Danny Zuko, in Greece, getting rave reviews. So, Ketryn told Arik about Final Destination, starring her (second) favorite thirst trap, Devon Sawa. THE SAMMIES ON PATREON PICKED IT! NOT HER! SHE’S NOT THAT MUCH OF A MONSTER! Anyway… we’ll learn if Arik will live or die in...

Kim tells… wait for it… MIKEY, from THE HORROR VIRGIN PODCAST, about Razorback! Ket is outta town and we’re tryin’ something a little fun and different. The girls have been wanting to do a collab with this pod for quite some time. Listen, it’s a great episode and Ket is totally chill and not jealous about it at ALL! Most importantly, we’ll learn if Mikey will live or die in Razorback. Dir. Russell...

Kim tells Ket about Sinister starring Ethan Hawke. Being the experts they are, their listeners are lucky to be able to learn such amazing parenting tips as “if your kid has night terrors, ya gotta send ‘em back to the kid store.” Also, why did no one tell them that Tommy Wiseau of “The Room” fame was in this?! Most importantly, we’ll learn if Ket will live or die in Sinister. Dir. Scott Derrickson...

Ket tells Kim about Colossal starring Anne Hathaway and Ted Lasso. I mean, Jason Sudeikis. Ketryn confirms that she did, in fact, give birth to her cats. The girls also discuss how different this story would be if it happened in 2022, rather than the completely different world on the space time continuum known as 2015. Ketryn would also like to petition OnlyFans for more sandwich content. Most imp...

Kim tells Ket about Men starring Jessie Buckley, Rory Kinnear, Rory Kinnear and Rory Kinnear. Two weeks in a row, a momentous event takes place! The girls contemplate post-mortem biography titles. Ketryn finds it difficult to leave the moss, mushroom and manor of the tale, despite imminent danger. Most importantly, we’ll learn if Ket will live or die in Men. Dir. Alex Garland Writer Alex Garland V...

Ket tells Kim about the prequel to the story of the ultimate Creepy Crapbag Kid. The girls dive into Orphan: First Kill, out now on Paramount+, starring Isabelle Furhman, Julia Stiles, and real Daddy Daddy, Rossif Sutherland. Kim has an incredibly exciting KKSAM “first!” She also gets to play both sides of the kill. Most importantly, we’ll learn if Kim will live or die in Orphan: First Kill. Dir....