The Men's Mental Health Podcast

Josh reflects on hitting rock bottom and the process of rebuilding his life with greater honesty, purpose, and self-awareness. Together, they explore the ways men often learn to perform strength while avoiding vulnerability, why authenticity can feel risky, and how recovery often requires more than simply stopping destructive behavior—it requires becoming a different kind of man. The conversation...

Comedian Bill Burr has built much of his career around frustration, outrage, and the absurdities of everyday life. But in a recent interview, he described going to therapy and experiencing a profound change: anger used to feel embarrassing because it reminded him of his father. That realization opens the door to a much bigger conversation about what happens when men begin to understand the emotion...

What does it actually mean to be a man—and how do our ideas about masculinity shape men’s identities, relationships, and mental health? Dr. Smiler discusses why masculinity is far more complex than a simple collection of traditional male norms. Drawing from his Multifaceted Masculinity Framework , he explains four important dimensions of masculinity: the criteria men use to define masculinity, the...

Do you have to be completely self-aware, emotionally articulate, and ready to open up before therapy can actually help? Absolutely not. In this episode of the Men’s Mental Health Podcast , we challenge the idea that you need to have yourself—or your problems—figured out before walking into a therapist’s office. In reality, not knowing what’s wrong, struggling to put feelings into words, or simply...

What happens when a woman sits down for therapy with a male therapist? In this episode of the Men’s Mental Health Podcast , we flip the usual conversation about gender and therapy. We often talk about what it’s like for men to work with female therapists—but what about women working with men? Gender doesn’t disappear when we enter the therapy room. Our experiences with men and women, relationships...

Trust is essential to a healthy marriage—but trauma can make trust complicated. In Part 3 of the Trauma-Informed Marriage series , we explore what it takes to rebuild trust when past trauma, painful experiences, or repeated relationship wounds make it difficult to feel emotionally safe with your partner. Trauma can teach us to protect ourselves. We may become hypervigilant, expect rejection, quest...

Trauma doesn’t stay neatly in the past. It can show up in our closest relationships—especially in marriage. In Part 2 of the Trauma-Informed Marriage series , we move from understanding how trauma affects relationships to exploring what healing can actually look like between partners. When someone has experienced trauma, conflict may feel more threatening, criticism may feel more personal, and dis...

What happens when old wounds quietly show up in your marriage? In Part 1 of “How to Create a Trauma-Informed Marriage,” we explore how past experiences can shape the way we communicate, handle conflict, interpret our partner’s behavior, and respond when we feel threatened, rejected, criticized, or disconnected. Sometimes what looks like anger, defensiveness, withdrawal, or overreaction isn’t reall...

What does it really mean to be a good man? In this episode of the Men’s Mental Health Podcast , Dr. Daniel Bates sits down with Dr. Mark Kiselica , one of the pioneering voices behind the positive masculinity movement, to explore a strengths-based way of understanding men and masculinity. Rather than defining masculinity primarily by what is harmful, restrictive, or “toxic,” positive masculinity a...

You don’t have to struggle with alcohol to learn something from Alcoholics Anonymous. In this episode of the Men’s Mental Health Podcast , I explore some of the powerful wisdom that has emerged from AA and recovery culture—and why these ideas can be useful for anyone trying to live a healthier, more intentional life. We talk about the freedom that comes from recognizing what you can and cannot con...

When men struggle with emotions, they’re often pushed toward two extremes: blow up or shut up . Anger comes out sideways, or everything gets pushed down until “I’m fine” becomes the default answer. In this episode of the Men’s Mental Health Podcast , we explore what happens when men haven’t been given the language or tools to understand what they’re actually feeling. Emotional literacy isn’t about...

“I’m fine.” Two words that can mean almost anything—especially when they come from a man who’s struggling. In this episode of the Men’s Mental Health Podcast , we unpack why men often minimize, hide, or self-censor what they’re going through. Sometimes “I’m fine” really means I don’t know how to explain it. Sometimes it means I don’t want to burden you. And sometimes it means I’m not sure it’s saf...

Men are struggling—but how often are they actually saying it out loud? In this episode of the Men’s Mental Health Podcast , Dr. Daniel Bates explores the ways men learn to self-censor their struggles . Instead of saying “I’m overwhelmed,” “I’m scared,” “I feel alone,” or “I need help,” many men minimize what they’re experiencing, keep conversations safely on the surface, or convince themselves the...

It sounds like satire, but it's real—and it may say more about us than it does about artificial intelligence. In this episode of the Men's Mental Health Podcast , Dr. Daniel Bates explores why increasing numbers of men are turning to AI for companionship, emotional support, and even romantic relationships. Rather than mocking the phenomenon, we ask the deeper question: What unmet needs are...

Why do so many men try to solve their emotions instead of experiencing them? From an early age, many men are taught that emotions are problems to be fixed, controlled, or eliminated. So when anxiety, sadness, shame, or grief show up, the instinct is to analyze them, suppress them, distract from them, or work harder until they disappear. The problem? Emotions don't work that way. In this episode of...

What if the closest thing to a real-life superpower wasn't flying, super strength, or reading minds—but mastering your own? In this episode of The Missing Conversation , Dr. Daniel Bates explores one of the most overlooked skills in mental health: learning to direct your own mind instead of being controlled by it. Most of us spend our lives reacting to intrusive thoughts, painful emotions, old...

What happens when men have a place where they can be challenged, encouraged, and truly known? In this episode of The Men's Mental Health Podcast , Dr. Daniel Bates sits down with Dr. Bobby Gueh , founder of Brothers Making Moves , to explore the transformative power of mentorship, brotherhood, and intentional community in men's lives. Together, they discuss why so many men struggle in sile...

The voice in your head shapes how you see yourself, how you handle failure, and what you believe you're capable of. But what if that voice isn't telling you the truth? In this episode, Dr. Daniel Bates explores how our inner dialogue is formed through childhood experiences, relationships, culture, and repeated life events—and why so many men unknowingly carry a harsh inner critic into adul...

What if the biggest battle in your life isn't with ADHD—but with the way you've learned to think about it? Too many people with ADHD spend years fighting against their own brains. They criticize themselves for procrastinating, shame themselves for forgetting things, and compare themselves to people whose minds simply work differently. The result isn't greater motivation—it's exhaus...

Have you ever found yourself thinking, "If they really cared, they would just know what I need." Or maybe you've assumed you knew what someone else was thinking—only to discover you were completely wrong. Mind-reading is one of the most common thinking traps that damages relationships. It fuels resentment, disappointment, anxiety, and conflict because we're making decisions based...

Every family has things that go unspoken. Some secrets are kept to protect others. Some are rooted in shame, fear, or loyalty. Others are passed down through generations without anyone ever questioning why they exist. But what happens when silence becomes a burden? In this episode of the Men's Mental Health Podcast , Dr. Daniel Bates explores the hidden psychological impact of family secrets a...

What if the voice in your head isn't telling you the truth? Many men silently battle thoughts like, "I'm not good enough," "I'm failing," "No one respects me," or "I'll never change." Over time, these thoughts can begin to feel like facts. But they aren't facts—they're interpretations, distortions, and learned narratives that shape ho...

What if becoming a father doesn't just change your life—it changes who you are as a man? In this deeply personal episode, I reflect on how fatherhood challenged many of the ideas I once held about masculinity, strength, and success. Becoming a dad didn't make me perfect, but it taught me lessons about humility, sacrifice, patience, emotional presence, and unconditional love that no career...

When a man is struggling, the instinct to "fix it" often does more harm than good. Whether he's dealing with depression, stress, failure, burnout, grief, or simply withdrawing from the people he loves, many men don't need immediate solutions—they need someone who knows how to show up without judgment, pressure, or criticism. In this episode, I break down what men often experience...

Men are focused on what they might lose, and aren't aware of what they might gain from therapy.