The Freewoman

We're all familiar with the stages of grief when it comes to the loss of a loved one. With abuse recovery we are grieving something just as profound but harder to verbalize. In this episode Cat and Jayenna discuss the stages of grief: Denial, Bargaining, Anger, Sadness and Acceptance. They share personal stories about their abuse recover process and how they experienced each one of these emot...

When codepency is the standard in relationships, learning to choose yourself feels like a radical act. People pleasing, weak boundaries and low self worth keep us trapped in cycles of validation seeking. Predatory people and abuse cycles thrive in these environments. Cat and Jayenna share stories of when they engaged in codependent patterns and the insecurities that motivated them to stay stuck in...

Have you ever had a partner that didn't respect your boundaries in the bedroom? 76% to 85% of sexual assaults are committed by someone the victim knows. Yet, sexual violence within marriage and intimate relationships is rarely talked about. The person who rapes you is most likely to be someone you trust, not the hooded stranger on the street. Cat and Jayenna share very personal stories from p...

Coercive control is one of the primary hallmarks of an abusive relationship. It creates a dynamic in which the victim alters their behavior, personality and social circle to placate their abuser. Psychological abuse, manipulation and intimidation are used to control the victim in a way that can be hard to spot by outsiders. The hidden nature of this abuse can make it very hard for victims to pinpo...

Covert Narcissism or Vulnerable Narcissism is the one of the most difficult toxic personalities to identify. Unlike the Grandiose Narcissist, this style of abuse operates through guilt, passive aggression and shame. You'll find yourself defending and protecting these abusers because their toxicity is hidden behind stories of victimhood, bad luck and oppression. They can fly under the radar fo...

Many don't realize they are in burnout until they pass the point of no return. Learning to recognize the signs and symptoms of impending burnout can save you from years of mental and physical health issues.  Cat and Jayenna share their journey with burnout, how it has impacted their health and the changes they have made moving forward as a result. Our precious life force is not meant to be sp...

Send us Fan Mail Financial abuse is a common tactic used by Narcissists. Limiting funds, preventing you from working, hiding money or nitpicking your spending are all ways that abusers use money to control you. Financial independence is empowering and therefore something the Narcissist fears you having. Narcissists  will seek to control you through money and they will also use money to make you fe...

Send us Fan Mail Dissociation is a protective and involuntary disconnection from reality. Victims of narcissistic abuse dissociate as a survival mechanism. It helps the mind survive what would otherwise break it. But like any other coping mechanism dissociation can become prohibitive. We must learn to face reality so that we can create true safety. In this episode Jayenna and Cat share their perso...

Send us Fan Mail Love is NOT blind. It goes in with eyes open, fully in reality. Going into a serious relationship blindly is a recipe for ABUSE. Taking the blind leap of faith might seem romantic from afar but up close leads to pain, trauma and drama when reality finally shows up. The show, "Love is Blind," is a great example of all of the things not to do when seeking love. SPOILER WAR...

Send us Fan Mail Growing up in a narcissistic family puts you at a disadvantage when entering the world. Low self worth, self sabatoge, poor boundaries and codependent patterns are a few of the many struggles survivors face. Cat and Jayenna share some of their stories in navigating and overcoming narcissistic family patterns. As well as the silver lining at the end of it all, watching the cycle en...

Send us Fan Mail Coparenting with a Narcissistic personality is a nightmare. Nothing is sacred to the Narcissist when it comes to exacting their revenge, including your children. Unfortunately, family court and even CPS are woefully inept at handling these high conflict situations and children, more often than not, end up being the collateral. Cat and Jayenna are both survivors of abuse and the hi...

Send us Fan Mail Trauma happens when we experience events that feel difficult to cope with or out of our control. It could be one incident, or an ongoing event that happens over a long period of time. When trauma occurs big emotions like rage, grief and hopelessness also occur. Addressing our trauma means facing and moving these big emotions. But because we live in a society that represses emotion...

Send us Fan Mail As a society, cliches form our picture of abuse. Run-down trailers and alcoholic fathers are the face put on domestic violence. But the truth is far more complicated. Abuse is everywhere. It's in the well-kept suburban home, the upscale gated community, the quiet farmhouse. It's in our schools, our workplaces and our churches. Techniques of psychological manipulation lik...

Send us Fan Mail Ritual is a powerful tool that indigenous societies were well acquainted with. A tool that has become obsolete in our modern world. Ritual allows us to connect with our tribe, our ancestors, ourselves and our purpose. Engaging in ritual makes us aware of the stories we are acting out. It brings in self awareness so we can be more intentional in building our lives. And it helps us...

Send us Fan Mail Valentine's Day has seen quite the evolution since its origin in ancient Rome as the festival Lupercalia. In our modern Valentine celebration we focus on romance and love, a far cry from the animal sacrifice and hedonism of its early roots. But not only has our celebration of love evolved in modern times but so have our views of romance and marriage. Cat and Jayenna explore t...

Send us Fan Mail Our society as a whole sees anger as a negative emotion. One to be quickly moved through on the path towards forgiveness. But what does forgiveness really mean? Does it allow victims the opportunity to process their pain and be seen or is the push to forgive simply a way to shame and silence them? The push to forgive is often about the comfort of others rather than the healing of...

Send us Fan Mail Cat and Jayenna discuss body image issues, cosmetic procedures and how wildly out of balance we've been thrown by social media and Hollywood. Superficial, outward appearances have become our focus while hunger and homelessness skyrocket. What the f*ck is going on? #freewoman #aginggracefully #agingwoman #feminism  https://www.thefreewomanpodcast.com/

Send us Fan Mail We all create stories. Stories that make us feel comfortable, safe, and secure. Stories that protect us from the jagged, unpleasant reality of our lives. We project these stories onto the people we interact with and the situations we find ourselves in. Trauma bonding and codependent relationships are an example of how we use stories to protect ourselves. It is very common for vict...

Send us Fan Mail Midlife often triggers not only perimenopause but trauma work in women. Hormonal shifts make it difficult for women to continue to pretend and anger begins to surface as they process the many disappointments and injustices of life. Cat and Jayenna discuss the difficulty of processing their personal rage as well as the peace and even 'boredom' that comes from letting go o...

Send us Fan Mail *****Our last episode of 2025!***** Anyone else struggle to get into the Christmas spirit during the most consumerist time of the year? Cat and Jayenna share their struggles with the holiday season as well as the things that have helped them feel more joyful. If you feel stuck during the holidays, you might just need to embody a little more Grinch and a little less Santa. Say no t...

Send us Fan Mail Inspired by the outcry around "Wicked for Good," Cat and Jayenna discuss their own body journeys. Around 80% of women report being dissatisfied with their bodies and tens of millions of women will suffer from a clinically significant eating disorder in their life. Cat and Jayenna share some of the body insecurities they have faced, along with tools they have used to work...

Send us Fan Mail Our increased understanding of nuerological functioning as well as the autism spectrum has caused many late in life epiphanies. As our neurodiverse children are being diagnosed and finding resources, Millenials and even Baby Boomers are realizing traits they'd thought of as family quirks actually fall within the DSM 5. The emotional response around this tends to be relief and...

Send us Fan Mail Cat and Jayenna share their stories of healing through healthy relationships in this episode. Emotional intimacy whether in a friendship or a romantic partnerships will trigger the unhealed pieces of your heart. It feels like a huge risk to open yourself to another person after being hurt. This is why so much of the healing journey happens through relationships. Our ability to com...

Send us Fan Mail People talk a lot about how to identify narcissists, but what do you do once you've figured out someone is toxic? How do you move forward? Cat and Jayenna share some of their personal experiences dealing with narcissists, how they handled them and how they escaped their web. It is tricky navigating the narcissist's illusions as well as the flying monkeys they surround th...

Send us Fan Mail A key component of being a Freewoman is using your voice. We must learn to use our voices to advocate for ourselves, for our children and for other victims. Our voices can also draw awareness to injustice and speak truth where lies have been allowed to muddy the waters. Sometimes your voice is the only thing standing between an abuser and their victim. If you have experienced trau...