The Estranged Heart

In t his episode of The Estranged Heart podcast, Kreed explores the space between understanding how we were raised and taking responsibility for how we relate today. Drawing on her perspective as a reconciled mother, reconciled adult child, and estrangement and reconciliation coach, she considers what a parent may feel at risk of losing when they become curious about their impact. Where did we lea...

In this episode of The Estranged Heart podcast, Kreed explores why compassion can feel like taking sides in family estrangement. After an estranged parent criticized her direct approach, an adult child responded that the directness was precisely what helped her. Those two reactions opened a larger conversation about grief, validation, accountability, and what happens when recognizing one person’s...

In this fifth anniversary episode of The Estranged Heart podcast, Kreed reflects on five years of The Estranged Heart - reconciliation cases, the grief of death before reconciliation, and the people whose lives have changed even while their relationships remain estranged.  This episode introduces the Questioning Estrangement podcast, a new podcast co-hosted with Kreed and Kelly Rhyne, LCSW, debuti...

In the final mini episode closing The Estranged Heart podcast's fifth year, Kreed considers questions that seek understanding, questions that seek confirmation, and the influences that shape parents' explanations of estrangement. She draws on her experience as a reconciled mother and adult child while examining the limits of applying one family's story to another. We can ask a question...

When a parent hears a specific concern as “I'm a terrible mother,” the conversation can shift toward defending an entire identity. What happens to the original concern then? In the fourth of five mini episodes closing The Estranged Heart  podcast's fifth year, Kreed reflects on shame as one possible barrier to examining our impact. Drawing on patterns she encounters in her work and her wil...

“But I'm her mother.” What does that sentence hold and what happens when the relationship no longer provides the place a parent expected? In the third of five mini episodes closing The Estranged Heart podcast's fifth year, Kreed explores the distinction between role and relationship. She considers how being needed, consulted, or included can become tied to a parent's sense of self, and...

In the second of five mini episodes closing The Estranged Heart  podcast's fifth year, Kreed reflects on participation, belonging, imagined futures, and the grief that may remain after reconciliation. She considers how parents can find support for their loss while respecting what the current relationship with their adult child can hold. Some losses in estrangement arrive through missed milesto...

In this mini episode of The Estranged Heart podcast, Kreed reflects on her own controlling parenting and the quieter forms of pressure she notices in her work. She explores how the history of parental authority can remain present in adult relationships, why control over contact is only part of the story, and what parents can practice during estrangement or reconciliation. Control can be loud. It c...

In this bonus episode of The Estranged Heart podcast, Kreed speaks with Kelly Rhyne, a social worker, minister, chaplain, and founder of the Center for Estrangement, about understanding estrangement as more than a cutoff. Kelly explains how unresolved harm and grief can spread across relationships and other parts of life, and why mourning, acknowledgment, and ongoing support matter even when recon...

In this episode of The Estranged Heart podcast, Kreed explores how estranged parents may criticize adult children for being influenced by outside voices while relying on their own echo chambers for certainty. The episode distinguishes compassionate validation from automatic agreement and explains why curiosity and self-reflection matter for understanding estrangement, whether or not reconciliation...

In this episode of The Estranged Heart podcast, Kreed reflects on what her own reconciliations and working with other families have added to her understanding of the work she does as an estrangement & reconciliation coach and mediator. This conversation explores why one family's outcome can't become another family's formula, what happens when understanding an idea is harder to prac...

In this episode of The Estranged Heart podcast, Kreed discusses how some family beliefs feel like common sense until a relationship asks us to examine them. She reflects on inherited expectations around questioning, loyalty, independence, and the place we learn to occupy in a family. In this episode - How a family expectation can remain unnamed until someone stops meeting it. - Why a question or a...

In this episode of The Estranged Heart podcast and the conclusion of its fifth year of production, Kreed takes a look at the ordinary, sometimes awkward experience of making the podcast. Behind all of it is a person making the work in a life that isn't polished. This anniversary reflection leaves room for humor, real stories from behind the microphone, and the humility of letting people hear y...

Being a mother didn't erase what Kreed knew about being a daughter. In this episode of The Estranged Heart podcast, she explores how her experience as an estranged and reconciled adult daughter shapes the way she listens to parents. This episode considers the history that follows a relationship into adulthood, what distance can and cannot tell us, and the difference between being in contact an...

As The Estranged Heart podcast wraps up its fifth year, Kreed begins a month of personal reflections with a question: What happens when we understand the same years of our lives differently? In this episode, Kreed explores how her interpretation of her own family experience has changed, including the limits of understanding a relationship through intention and effort, recognizing emotional depende...

In this episode of The Estranged Heart podcast, Kreed discusses why an adult child may hear a sincere apology and still struggle to believe it. She explores why an apology isn’t a transaction, why revisiting an old hurt doesn’t necessarily mean your adult child is trying to punish you, and why private growth and relational evidence are not the same thing. TAKEAWAYS 1. An apology is only the beginn...

In this episode of The Estranged Heart podcast, Kreed explores how differences in language and definitions can hinder understanding in parent-adult child relationships. She emphasizes the importance of curiosity and exploring underlying experiences rather than getting stuck on labels and vocabulary.  TAKEAWAYS - Labels often serve as conclusions that shut down dialogue - Understanding requires exp...

In this episode of The Estranged Heart podcast , Kreed explores what happens when a seemingly small interaction between a parent and adult child suddenly carries the emotional weight of decades. Using a recent interaction with her own mother as a starting point, Kreed examines why adult children can become intensely reactive around their parents even after years of therapy and healing work and why...

In this episode of The Estranged Heart podcast, Kreed explores one of the most common and often most painful questions in complicated family relationships: Why can't you just let it go? After a recent conversation about the decades-long history between Kreed and her sibling Kreed examines why remembering and naming relational history isn't necessarily the same thing as holding a grudge. Fo...

In this episode of The Estranged Heart podcast, Kreed shares a deeply moving letter originally published by Dr. Joshua Coleman, written by an estranged mother reflecting on her relationship with the mother who abandoned her and the daughter from whom she is now estranged. At the heart of the letter is a question that reaches far beyond estrangement: Can we tell the full truth about how someone hur...

In this episode of The Estranged Heart podcast, Kreed explores the dynamics of shame in parent-child relationships, highlighting how shame can hinder genuine understanding and repair. This episode offers insights into recognizing shame-based communication and fostering healthier interactions. Takeaways Shame is often unintentional and can be rooted in fear and terror. The shift from behavior-based...

In this episode of The Estranged Heart podcast, Kreed explores the complexities of family estrangement, social media's impact on understanding human relationships, and the importance of emotional maturity in reconciliation. Key Topics The impact of social media on perceptions of estrangement The importance of holding multiple human experiences simultaneously The difference between understandin...

In this episode of The Estranged Heart podcast, Kreed explores the impact of emotional neglect and the importance of curiosity in healing family estrangement. This episode highlights how patterns of disconnection are passed down and how parents and adult children can foster understanding through genuine curiosity. Takeaways Most family patterns are stored in the nervous system, not consciously rem...

In this episode of The Estranged Heart, Kreed walks through why "knowing better" quietly conflates two different things:  awareness that something was missing and access to a practiced alternative and why that gap matters more than intent does. "You knew better. You just didn't do better." It's one of the sharpest sentences an adult child can hand a parent and it sounds...

In this episode of The Estranged Heart Podcast , Kreed explores one of the most painful and perplexing questions estranged parents ask: How can my adult child remember our relationship so differently than I do? She introduces a perspective - that there was never just one relationship. There were always two: the relationship the parent experienced and the relationship the child experienced. Rather...