The Deeper Love Podcast: For the Woman Healing After Betraying Someone She Loved

What does healing really look like after an affair? Not the fantasy of “being fully healed”, not the obsession with timelines, and not the pressure to return to who you were before everything blew apart, but the reality we don’t talk about enough. In this episode, I’m looking at some of the ideas we have about what healing is supposed to look like after you’ve been the one who cheated. Maybe you t...

This episode speaks directly to the woman who can explain her affair with absolute clarity - the patterns, the wounds, the childhood conditioning, the emotional disconnection - yet still feels paralysed when asked the simplest, most confronting question: What do you actually want now? I unpack the profound difference between understanding the past and being able to choose your future, and why so m...

This episode is a deep, unflinching exploration of the question almost every woman asks herself after an affair: how the hell did I become this woman? I break open the identity rupture that happens when the “good girl,” the responsible one, the achiever, the caretaker, the one who holds everything together… becomes the woman who crossed a line she never imagined she would. This is about so much mo...

Betrayal, alcoholism, shame, self-destruction, and the breakdown of a marriage. My guest this week is Amity Rose, and she’s been through all of the above, and via a lot of personal reflection, taught herself how to face her husband’s infidelity with clarity, compassion, and power. In our brutally honest conversation we dismantle the cultural narrative that treats cheating as an unforgivable crime,...

One of the hardest parts of the aftermath of an affair is feeling like you’re the only one doing the work. You’re reading the books. Listening to the podcasts. Going to therapy. Reflecting. Trying to understand yourself. Trying to repair what happened. And he might still be angry or shut down, overwhelmed or frozen. Or simply not ready to do that work with you yet. And yes, he is allowed to feel w...

🌻This episode is taken from The Sanctuary - a private online community for women who’ve had an affair. Find out more and join today at https://www.alexcroxford.com/the-sanctuary  — This is one of the most common experiences I see with women who've had affairs, and almost no one talks about it. You felt more alive in your body with your affair partner than you ever did with your husband. More...

🌻This episode is taken from The Sanctuary - a private online community for women who’ve had an affair. Find out more and join today at https://www.alexcroxford.com/the-sanctuary  . The part of you that feels like the worst person alive - the part that's been waiting for someone to confirm that yes, you deserve every moment of this - that's who this episode is for. In this episode, Alex goes...

🌻This episode is shared from The Sanctuary - a private online community for women who’ve had an affair. Find out more and join today at https://www.alexcroxford.com/the-sanctuary  — It's the question that keeps so many women awake at night. Stay or go. Rebuild or walk away. And the more you turn it over in your mind, the more impossible it feels to answer. This week's question is one I suspe...

Nobody tells you how to have the conversations that come after an affair. The reveal is the biggest, followed by the questions that come after and the conversations that go round and round in circles and leave you both completely destroyed. The ones where you give every single detail, because you think that's what accountability looks like. In this episode, I'm joined by Eve Stanway - psychotherap...

The year after I told my then-husband I'd been unfaithful to him was the hardest year of my life. I pray to God I never experience a year harder than that. I don't think anyone talks about that year enough, because the moment the truth comes out feels like an explosion, but what comes after is total devastation. And it is so hard to navigate. In this episode I'm going deep into that ye...

Seven years ago, I would have rolled my eyes at everything in this episode. I thought crystals were bollocks. I thought energy healing was bollocks. I thought past lives were definitely bollocks. I was a rational, logical, practical TV executive, and nobody could have convinced me otherwise. And then my life imploded, and I got desperate. And desperate women do things they never thought they'd...

I want to take you back to 2019. Sat in Homerton Hospital, in the fertility department with my then husband next to me. Signing the consent forms for IVF. And the whole time, I was carrying the secret that I had been unfaithful to him. That moment, I can see now, contained the whole story. Because I was sitting there trying to create life whilst being completely disconnected from my own. The irreg...

Everyone talks about the moment the affair comes out. Nobody talks about what happens next. In this episode, I'm going inside the year that broke me far more than the affair itself - the year I spent trying to repair, trying to make it right, and completely disappearing in the process. Because here's what I know now that I didn't know then: telling the truth was not the lowest point. T...

Six years ago, I genuinely didn't know if I wanted to keep living. The shame of what I had done felt unbearable. I couldn't think straight, I couldn't be present, and I couldn't imagine a future where I felt okay again. And yet today, I'm sitting behind a microphone telling that story publicly. So what happened? How did I get from there to here? Because I can tell you, it wasn't time. It wasn't un...

For two years after the affair, I told no one. Not my husband. Not the friends I’d call sisters, the ones who’d held me through my own heartbreak years earlier. I sat at New Year’s parties and weddings and birthdays, keeping it light, breezy, fine. And inside, I was dying. Dying of shame. Dying of guilt. Dying of the fear that if anyone really saw me, they’d stop loving me. In this episode, I talk...

Why is a podcast about healing after betrayal is called The Deeper Love Podcast . In this episode, I'm answering that. At my core, I believe the detonation that an affair brings to your life can absolutely become the portal to the deepest love of your life. You don’t have to leave your husband, but you do have to be willing to face and heal the story that has been running your life, way before...

You probably know what it feels like to live two lives at once. The one that everyone can see - where you're capable, together, achieving, holding it all together. And the one underneath, where you feel lonely, disconnected, asking yourself, is this it? Where you stopped being desired. Stopped being seen as anything other than the wife, the mother, the high-flying executive, the one that doesn...

A lot of women think accountability means suffering. That if you punish yourself long enough… if you accept enough rage… if you hand over every detail… if you shrink yourself into the smallest, most “perfect” version of you… then maybe you’ll finally have paid for what you did. But punishment isn’t the same as accountability. In this episode, Alex responds to a question she hears often: “Are you l...

In this raw, deeply human conversation, Alex is joined by Hope Manzano: Mum, entrepreneur and content creator who shares publicly about her affair online. It is rare to find another woman who is willing to stand up and say I made a mistake too, and in this episode, Hope shares the real story behind her affair - there was no abuse, or unbearable arguments, but instead a perfect looking marriage on...

There’s a very specific type of woman who cheats. And it’s not who people think. It’s often the good girl. The high achiever. The strong one. The reliable one. The woman everyone trusts, everyone leans on, the one who has spent her whole life trying to get it right. So when an affair happens, it doesn’t just break the relationship. It breaks her identity. Because now she isn’t only dealing with gu...

After an affair, so much of the focus goes onto the relationship, the guilt, the affair partner or trying to understand exactly what went wrong. But in this episode, Alex goes somewhere deeper. She explores the pattern that was often running long before the affair ever happened: self-betrayal . This is the quiet, cumulative way so many women abandon their truth over years. Staying silent when some...

In this powerful guest episode of the Deeper Love Podcast , Alex is joined by relationship coach Monica Tanner to explore one of the hardest truths in love: you can love someone and still hurt them. Together, they unpack the deeper dynamics beneath betrayal, infidelity, resentment, emotional disconnection, and what it really takes to repair a relationship after trust has been broken. This is an ho...