Midnight Crisis

"Cause I speak of the pompatus of love." - Ben hates the word née. - Nobody wants a control participant to race alongside the athletes at the Olympics. - Ben has a nightmare of being pulled up on stage to sing a song he doesn’t know. - Nobody expresses her love for pickled onions. - Celebrity crushes make Nobody sad and we continue to explore her newfound affection for Eddie Redmayne. - Nobody use...

"It's calling you, my dear, out of reach. Take me to my beach." - Nobody has a radical new idea for anyone wanting to become a doctor without all the hard work. - We detail Ben and Heidi Klum’s hypothetical relationship. - We discuss the best age to get turned into a vampire. - We celebrate having as many episodes as our old nemesis Cop Rock. - Nobody doesn’t want to be famous. - We discuss what m...

"I smell sex and candy here." - We ponder whether candy is a food and if you can fill up on grapes? - We discuss decorative chocolates and candles that are too nice to use. - Nobody’s boyfriend got locked in Ben’s bathroom. - Ben has an issue with the show All Of Us Are Dead’s makeshift bathroom solution. - Ben puts Nobody’s statement that she ‘no longer has opinions’ to the test. - Nobody orders...

"Babe I got a plan, run away as fast as you can." - Ben is annoyed by the 50 Cent coin. - We’re recording in a new studio and have an exciting array of sound effects at our disposal. - SMSiquette: Nobody’s delivers some bad news in the worst way possible. - Nobody thinks she might be dead. - Ben is introduced as ‘the guy with a car’. - Julian goes to Mexico and compliments a friend on her ass.

"Generation next." - Nobody is perpetually facing a minor tragedy. - Ben is back in isolation after his roommate caught COVID. - We discuss internal versus ‘external’ monologues. - Ben is trying to decipher a compliment about his beard…or beanie. - Ben can’t figure out what is going on with Posh Spice on the Spice Girls album cover. - We discuss the latest trend in custom built WankPod’s. - Ben sc...

"Nothing compares to you." - Nobody moves into her friend’s house and her eyes are swollen shut. - Ben shames Nobody on her birthday over her flying pan phone cover. - We discuss breaking up on Valentine’s Day and why Ben hates the Moonlight Cinema. - Drake puts hot sauce in his condoms. - We dissect the hotel room advertisement from Nobody’s upcoming Thai holiday. - Ben has an issue with Netflix’...

"I don’t want to wait for our lives to be over." - Ben has a problem with choking on water. - The Queen caught COVID and we discuss Jupiter’s many moons. - We discuss Queen Elizabeth’s love of jump scares and corgis. - Ben gets a serious infection but it’s not COVID! - Ben asks why Chupa Chups are so hard to open? - We analyse the confusing range of Panadol products. - Nobody’s couch gets it’s fif...

“How many gold plaques you want inside your dining room?” - Nobody wants wireless electricity and power outlets all over her house. - Ben wants to try escaping a sinking car. - We discuss Nobody’s fear of spiders and her brothers fear of emu attacks. - Nobody can’t wrap her head around how anyone believed that the Cottingley fairies were real.

"I really can't stay…" - Ben is upset by Antarctica’s lack of a flag. - Ben provides an update on the pool girl. - Nobody asks who should call back after a premature hang-up? - We debut our new song ‘Baby It’s COVID Outside’. - We discuss adult summer camps, clipboards and other signs you might be in a cult. - Allison Mack’s courtroom sketch artist did her dirty. - Ben analyses the weirdest signs...

"Every now and then, I turn it on again but it's plain to see that the radio still sucks!" - Ben poses a hypothetical about Ashton Kutcher and a wizard. - Ben’s phone dies, forcing him into listening to commercial radio. - We discuss the Omicron Covid variant and smallpox parties. - Nobody’s phone dies and she struggles to contact her boyfriend. - Ben got ‘Merry Christmased’ on New Year’s Eve. - N...

"You're as cuddly as a cactus. You're as charming as an eel." - Ben asks how old you say you are when you verify your age online? - Nobody pitches scented candles to match the video game you’re playing. - Nobody reviews todays drink of the day, berry kombucha. - In an unprecedented move, Ben picks up Nobody from her apartment. - We do our annual Christmas check in with the Gävle goat. - Ben return...

"You're perfect, yes it's true but without me you're only you." - Ben is disappointed with 7-Eleven’s new mystery Slurpee flavour. - Nobody reminisces about the mystery cocktail game she played as kid. - Ben’s pets won’t stop following him around the house. - Ben makes the world’s chocolatiest drink. - We finally settle on a name for the podcast. - Nobody considers moving into an old post office....

"So kind of you to bless us, with your effortlessness." - Ben goes on a mission to buy a Slurpee. - Nobody attempts to photograph the aurora australis. - We discuss once in a lifetime experiences. - We try and name the podcast by reviewing our survey responses. - Ben knows someone who lent their friend a dryer.

"Comin’ straight from the underground." - We’re rebooting the podcast and can only vaguely hint at why. - Ben brainstorms new nicknames for his co-host. - We brainstorm names for the new podcast.