Let Them Fight: A Comedy History Podcast

We're back, baby! And we've got a guy today with a hell of a name who lived a hell of a life. Conrad von Hotzendorf came up in one of the many evil empires the world has seen, and he became one of the people with the power to do stuff. So what did he do? Continued the status quo and became arrogant and incompetent of course. Way to go, Conrad. So join us in hating on him, enjoy!

Howdy, dear listeners! Unfortunately, life got a bit fucky this week and a piece of broken equipment means we can't record. The piece is being replaced and we'll be good to go next week though. In the meantime, we decided to release a real fun episode from the Patreon to tide you over. I changed the original title though as, "Ben Franklin American Fuck Machine" might be an issue for some platforms...

Welcome back dear listeners. Today we take a little journey up to Nova Scotia in Canada to talk about a man who wasn't content to just be a scummy denturist with a real shitty childhood. Oh no, Gabriel Wortman had to make his problems everybody else's problems too. And well, he did a pretty good job of fucking things up for a bunch of people. Join us in hating on this guy, and enjoy!

Welcome to another fun trip to World War 2, dear listeners. Today it's to talk about Robert Rosenthal, a man who heard we were going to war with the nazis and decided, "As a Jew I want to do my part. I know, I need to get up in the air and drop some shit right on their dumb nazi heads." And then he did exactly that. Dude lived one hell of a life, enjoy!

We've got another Englishman for you today, dear listeners. But this one didn't stay in England. Oh no, Breaker Morant traveled far and wide to be a dick the world over. Or at least two other continents. Credit where it's due though, the guy had drip. The uniform is dope, which is how you know he did awful things. Ugly uniforms never hurt anybody. And boy can you not say that about Morant. Enjoy!

Welcome back, dear listeners! Today we're going to jolly old England to talk about Derrick Bird, a man who didn't really do anything exciting most of his life, and then one day woke up and boy did that change. It's a bit of an odd story that ends in a real big bang, so enjoy!

Welcome back, dear listeners. Today we're headed back to the ol' wild west. But we're not talking about your usual gunslinger/lawman/outlaw today. Felipe Espinosa was a whole different breed. A special kind of garbage monster. Or maybe a man avenging a whole heap of wrongs. Who knows? History has a funny way of painting the same person in different lights sometimes. But whether his cause was right...

It's time to go back in time to when Spain produced some real shit kickers. Of course, they were also garbage monsters as people. Like our boy today, Pedro de Valdivia, a man who found himself on the wrong side of history pretty much for his entire life. But man, this dude could kill. And he did pretty damn frequently. Also starring in today's episode, yet another Sabaton song. Ready to sponsor us...

Today we'll be going "down under" to talk about this shitty Australian, Paul Denyer. He really is all red flags right from the beginning, and that just never changes. All pretty standard affair for his type of scum, but then outta nowhere he throws in some wrenches. Enjoy!

Today we've got a real fun old western dude who unfortunately got started in the game as the "wild" days were closing out and the law was ramping up. But boy did Rube Barrow make a go for it and make sure his name was remembered. Also, this episode is chock full of everyone's favorite type of incompetence, the law enforcement kind. If Rube's life were a movie, it would play Yakety Sax every time t...

It's time for another trip to jolly old England to talk about a dope ass fun loving son of a bitch. Frederick Burnaby was born with like, 7 silver spoons in his mouth, but despite that he wound up being cool as hell. Dude traveled hundreds of miles to spite the Russians, loved balloons, and knew how to take a joke. The common folk loved him, which is always a good sign, and his life was full of bo...

Welcome, welcome once again, dear listeners. Today we're talking about a badass broad who decided she wanted to do some stuff, and wasn't going to stop until she found a way to do it. She saw World War 2 going and was like, well, time to get busy. Virginia Hall was not somebody who let other people tell her no, and she made one of my least favorite people in history absolutely furious, making her...

It's time for another trip to old Nippon, dear listeners. But this time we're talking about some Japanese stuff we haven't done yet, the Yakuza. Kazuo Taoka was known as "the Godfather of Godfathers," and looks the way he did, which is basically straight out of central casting for a Yakuza boss, so you know this motherfucker made shit happen. And we get into it, and have a lot of fun talking about...

Friends, Romans, lend me your ears! Or something like that anyway. Today we're headed back to good ol' proto Italy to talk about Marcus Licinius Crassus, a dude that did a lot of shit but wound up overshadowed anyways. Also, he was kind of a dickhead so I don't feel too bad about it. It's a real fun story though with some famous cameos, so enjoy!

Welcome dear listeners, to an episode that is going to create some emotions in you when you hear it, because, well, some bullshit of the highest order goes down and our boy Michael Morton deserved none of it. He was just a simple family man when tragedy struck, and in life, well, people are sometimes extremely shitty. Enjoy!

It's not often we get to say this, but this English dude was dope as hell! William Slim, Bill Slim if you're nasty, was a rare breed, an officer whose men absolutely loved him. He fought in multiple wars, on multiple continents, and kicked some major ass along the way. And when he saw other officers doing the wrong shit, he called them out on it. Hell of a guy. It wasn't just England that loved hi...

Today we're getting into some piratey nonsense for you, dear listeners. Laurens de Graaf may have been a kooky kind of Dutchman, but once he got on board a ship and realized how good he was at stealing shit from the Spanish, he went all in. Stories of triumph, exploration, hilarious pettiness, the whole package. Enjoy!

Today we have a hell of a guy for you, dear listeners. Alvin York wasn't the smartest man, and he had a simple upbringing, but when it came time to put in the work against the Krauts, boy did he. The stuff he did in World War 1 when his moment came up is pretty damn hard to believe, but it's been corroborated and proven to a pretty high standard. So take it all in, and enjoy!

We got a wild one for you today, dear listeners, as we head off to Chicago in the 1960s and 70s. Martial arts master Count Juan Raphael Dante (not his birth name) was a crazy motherfucker, but also legit at the same time. Like, all the way out there. And yet...you'll see. Just when you think you have a handle on the guy, he throws a goddamn curve ball. But the story is a lot of fun, so enjoy!

Today we're talking about a man who had the spirit of an wild west outlaw who just happened to be trapped in North Carolina. He had the unfortunate luck of being born in the state while being of a darker persuasion. He faced a lot of persecution before, during, and after the Civil War, and he knew just how to respond, with a gun. Also he had a cool ass wife, you'll see what I mean. Enjoy!

I'm not gonna lie to you, dear listeners. This one is rough. We're heading to Scotland to talk about a real garbage dude, Dennis Nilsen. It's not just that he's gross and awful, but well, you'll see. But hey, for every moment of unsettling creepiness this dude's life put out, you get a moment of Tim raging as he learns about all of it in real time. And isn't that worth the price of admission? Enjo...

Today we're headed to the land before Portugal to talk about mountain badass Viriato. That's right, this dude is older than Portugal, but he was one hard motherfucker. He went balls out and warred with the Romans, the guys that never give up until they win. That takes some guts. Or craziness. Or both? Probably both. Anyways, he was cool as hell and did some bonkers shit. Just uh, sorry about the e...

In today's episode we'll be heading to the projects in New York's Spanish Harlem to talk about Alpo Martinez. What kind of man was he? Well, his name pops up in like 50 gangsta rap songs. So you can probably figure it out. He got started at a young age, and lived a real wild life. And people had some real strong thoughts about him, so we got quotes aplenty. Enjoy!

Today we're talking about a pair of miscreants who have shown up once before in a previous episode, but definitely deserved to have their own as well. Bonnie Parker and Clyde Barrow lived pretty normal lives until they met each other, at which point they mixed like the ingredients of a Molotov cocktail and boom, everything went goddamn nuts. They packed a whole lot of living into a short amount of...

Avast, ye scurvy deck rats! Today we're talking about the most piratey pirate that ever did pirate, Blackbeard Edward Teach himself! Though in all honesty he really wasn't like the mythical portrayals of him. He was pretty tame as far as pirates go, and he didn't do it for very long. Still, hell of a life packed into those few years. And he went out like a man, gave his story a pretty epic ending....