The Weekly Humorist Podcast

Now cool enough outside for conservative right-wing Republicans to plan future insurrections at a patio table rather than inside the restaurant. Unemployment offices are already decorated for Christmas. Anti-vaxxers adding plenty of ivermectin to their pumpkin spice lattes. It’s getting darker much earlier, and not just due to the ash and smog in the air. You only wear sandals to run outside quick...

A hard thing becomes a soft thing from hot water. The soft thing is separated from hot water with a leaky bowl. A thick paste gets water added to it to make a wet sauce. A milky thing is added to a wet sauce to make the sauce a milky sauce. The milky sauce is added to the soft thing in a sealed bowl. An orange liquidy thing is put inside cold furniture for a while so it can turn into a wobbly soli...

James, please stop telling people your name when you are undercover. James, please stop drinking on the job. You handle weaponry for a living. James, I noticed your eyebrow was bleeding and your arm is in a cast. I hope you feel better soon. This is just a reminder that to be reimbursed for emergency care you must submit your company expense sheet by the end of the month. James, please stop drinki...

Injuries are a part of every sport. A hockey player might lose three or four teeth in a game, while never leaving the ice. In American football, 49ers defensive back Ronnie Lott once had part of his pinkie finger amputated so he could keep playing. But in soccer, sometimes it’s difficult to tell how serious the injury is. Or if there’s even an actual injury. With that in mind, here’s what to look...

Injuries are a part of every sport. A hockey player might lose three or four teeth in a game, while never leaving the ice. In American football, 49ers defensive back Ronnie Lott once had part of his pinkie finger amputated so he could keep playing. But in soccer, sometimes it’s difficult to tell how serious the injury is. Or if there’s even an actual injury. With that in mind, here’s what to look...

Keep In Sync With Your Body’s Sleep Cycle We know maintaining a proper sleep schedule can be tough. Life can often get in the way of a good night’s rest. Late nights at the office. An evening of pub trivia. Or maybe you just need to clutch onto every single precious moment you have to yourself, so you get stoned and watch The Office until two in the morning. Today is the perfect day to start a new...

Keep In Sync With Your Body’s Sleep Cycle We know maintaining a proper sleep schedule can be tough. Life can often get in the way of a good night’s rest. Late nights at the office. An evening of pub trivia. Or maybe you just need to clutch onto every single precious moment you have to yourself, so you get stoned and watch The Office until two in the morning. Today is the perfect day to start a new...

Two couples attempt to complete an escape room. While the timer counts down, they search for clues and make discoveries about themselves.  We explore one hour of time in thirteen hours of gripping drama and revolutionary storytelling. Episode 1. Release of Liberation and Liability Synopsis: Newlyweds Greg and Lauren meet Chris and Emily for a fun night out. Chris, the recent victim of identity the...

Two couples attempt to complete an escape room. While the timer counts down, they search for clues and make discoveries about themselves.  We explore one hour of time in thirteen hours of gripping drama and revolutionary storytelling. Episode 1. Release of Libera

Dear Mary, I regret to inform you that I will be unable to move forward with attending your wedding this spring. Unfortunately, I receive a number of qualified applicants, and I have to choose wisely. I don’t usually give feedback, but in this case, the wedding you’ve submitted is not a culture fit for my social life because you’ve failed to provide information on whether or not there will be an o...

Listen to this article! https://www.weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/03/WH-wedding-emails-HM.mp3 Dear Mary, I regret to inform you that I will be unable to move forward with attending your wedding this spring. Unfortunately, I receive a number of qualified applicants, and I have to choose wisely. I don’t usually give feedback, but in this case, the wedding you’ve submitted is not a cultu...

Listen to this article. http://www.weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/01/WH-ReplacementTVshows.mp3   Muff Divers   Trinity and her gang get a tip on a sunken treasure of extremely valuable Ming Dynasty ear-muffs, and so it's back in their diving suits for more deep sea adventures!   Featuring special guest star and Don Knotts impersonator Felipe Gunderson. America's Got Toe Lint From the c...

Listen to this article. https://www.weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/01/WH-ReplacementTVshows.mp3   Muff Divers   Trinity and her gang get a tip on a sunken treasure of extremely valuable Ming Dynasty ear-muffs, and so it's back in their diving suits for more deep sea adventures!   Featuring special guest star and Don Knotts impersonator Felipe Gunderson. America's Got Toe Lint From the...

Listen to this article. http://www.weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/01/WH-Bookshelf-HM.mp3   What are we reading this week? Grandma, Why Does Your Laundry Hamper Smell Like Deviled Eggs? by Erma Bombeck   Erma Bombeck was never one to allow the ravages of senility and dementia keep her from culling together a collection of humorous essays, or from going to Safeway while wearing only a di...

Listen to this article. https://www.weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/01/WH-Bookshelf-HM.mp3   What are we reading this week? Grandma, Why Does Your Laundry Hamper Smell Like Deviled Eggs? by Erma Bombeck   Erma Bombeck was never one to allow the ravages of senility and dementia keep her from culling together a collection of humorous essays, or from going to Safeway while wearing only a d...