Beyond Broken Vows | Christian Marriage, Adultery, Pornography Addiction, Sexual Betrayal, Infidelity

Have you ever found yourself in a situation that totally surprised you, leaving you unsure of how to react? It happens to all of us!   When we’re on the journey to recovering from sex addiction, those unexpected moments can be particularly challenging. It’s important to be aware and not let our guard down, as staying vigilant plays a crucial role in our recovery.   We’d love for you to join us tod...

When you hear the statement, "I do not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it". What thoughts and/or emotions surface immediately? Our experience has shown us that the initial reaction from a betrayed spouse will likely differ from that of the one who has broken faith. The former will react in a posture of, "You better regret your past!". And the latter will feel that they are “supposed t...

Have you ever wondered how to hear God speaking to you? When we have deep wounds such as betrayal trauma and sexual integrity issues, we can feel desperate to hear the voice of God. We want him to tell us what to do to get relief from the ever-present pain and anxiety we are experiencing to find freedom and healing.   Today we are so excited to share our interview with Heather O’Brien host of the...

If you are listening to our podcast on a regular basis, and we hope you are, you are likely working hard to stay married after porn-fueled infidelity.   One challenging area that needs to be addressed in the recovery process is shame and guilt. Many times, shame and guilt are used interchangeably as though they are the same. Do you know there’s a difference? What are the differences?   Join us tod...

We know our story of sexual betrayal and recovery is not the only one out there, so we are excited to share with you a compelling conversation we had with Steve Shields from the Unashamed Unafraid podcast. He tells his unique and very personal story of how a Christian man trapped in porn addiction was able to come to terms with his powerlessness, and after several recovery setbacks, was finally ab...

We had planned to update and replay episodes all this month to help us take things a little slower for our anniversary. Well, we got of our 2 most popular shows out, but this week we decided to share some new content with you.   We want to give some encouragement and a little guidance to those of you who are struggling in the storm of your broken marriage. Whether you have been betrayed or you hav...

It's been almost a year and a half since we first told our stories of sexual addiction and betrayal on our podcast. A lot has happened since then!   We are so very grateful for the recovery, healing, and growth that both of us have experienced since D-Day in 2018. It has been due to God's help, tons of hard work on our part, and a great support community.   To commemorate our 37th wedding annivers...

September is our anniversary month and we're celebrating by taking a break from creating new episodes this month, but rather updating and replaying a few of our most popular episodes.    Today we are revisiting Episode #2 Her Story: My Husband Betrayed Me, where Emily bares her soul to tell the story of Johnny's marital infidelity* fueled by pornography use. And although it was Not Her Fault in an...

Wives, do you have a desire for your husband to lead you and your family spiritually? Of course!   Husbands, are you at a loss for what that looks like and how you can show up for your wife in this area? Yeah, probably.   Unfortunately, in many Christian marriages, this is often a reality. A wife will take up the responsibility of being the spiritual head of the home because her husband isn’t step...

Wives, are you trying to communicate your feelings to your husband and somehow it always ends up being about him. Are just not feeling seen, heard and validated?   Men, is your wife explaining to you how she feels or coming at you with big emotions and you find yourself at a loss of how to respond?   This can happen in any marriage, but when sexual betrayal is a reality, the pain and frustration s...

How much do you value keeping your word? And how does it make you feel when someone doesn't keep their word?   For a betrayed wife, it becomes even more important that her recovering husband keep his word. This new display of reliability provides the safety and security that she desperately needs in a time of confusion and broken trust. When he makes the effort to follow through on his promises, h...

We all have priorities, whether we make them intentionally or they exist by default. At times our priorities can be misguided and cause pain for ourselves and for others. We also understand that priorities are important and it’s necessary to have them in the right order.   And for a betrayed wife, it’s imperative to know that she is a priority to her husband.   Today as we continue in our series,...

Following the revelation of sexual betrayal, a couple must decide whether to stay together or not. Choosing to stay married initiates a complex journey of recovery and healing, filled with challenges and triumphs.   However, the journey may be prolonged due to the betrayer's lack of understanding the needs of the betrayed. Initially, the focus is on the betrayer's recovery and repairing the damage...

Has the reality of porn-fueled infidelity in your marriage come to light? Have you both decided to stay together and want to do your part to save your marriage?   Husband, have you decided to go all in on making it right? Are willing to do whatever it takes to recover from the devastating consequences of your bad decisions, but moving forward in your relationship with your wife seems difficult?  ...

It wasn’t until I stopped using pornography altogether and the fog lifted that I learned just how much effect it had had on my brain. The further I got away from the porn and the more days of sobriety I achieved, I found that I was able to think more clearly and process the difficult truth of my sex-addiction. Understanding porn’s effect on my brain helped to explain so many of my actions, or lack...

How was your week? Did it go as planned? This week, a verse really hit home for us in a big way...   We can make our plans, but the Lord determines our steps. Proverbs 16:9   Imagine this - just as we were about to hit the button to record today’s podcast episode, a sudden interruption caught us off guard. Johnny received a private message that sparked a whirlwind of emotions and confusion. It was...

After discovering your spouse had betrayed you sexually, what was your initial reaction? We bet it wasn’t joy. We know that there are many volatile emotions that come on the heels of that shocking and devastating news - among them pain, anger, and confusion.   As you try to make sense of the senseless in your new unwanted reality, you may find yourself desperately longing for relief from the ever-...

Many of us have heard the phrase “Freedom Isn’t Free” and if you have not heard it, you likely understand the idea behind it knowing that in order to gain freedom of any kind some form of sacrifice needs to be made. And sacrifices are not called sacrifices because they are easy.   Are you feeling like you’re trapped in a never-ending cycle of anger, confusion, shame, and pain? Do you long for free...

The day you never imagined you’d ever live to see has come and gone; D-Day. You have discovered sexual betrayal in your marriage. Whether you found out or your spouse confessed, you can’t believe that this has happened. You may be asking yourself, Is my marriage over? Is it worth saving? Is it possible to move forward?   Today we are going to answer those questions from our own perspective. Spoile...

Do you ever stop and wonder why? Why did this happen? Have you lamented, “Can anything good ever come of it?”   When the discovery of sexual betrayal threatens to destroy your marriage, you may think you won’t survive it. Then, if you have made the choice to stay and do the hard work of recovery, you start to see God working in your life and marriage to bring hope and healing. A little further dow...

What is isolation, and where does it truly begin?   Imagine a lone animal in the wild, separated from its herd. We've all seen those heart-wrenching documentary scenes where isolation turns them into easy prey. Nature's example is a powerful reminder of a harsh reality: when we isolate ourselves from our community, we become vulnerable to the schemes and traps of our Enemy who is actively looking...

As a recovering sex-addict, I now find comfort in knowing that my addiction was real and that there is hope through recovery that I will not have to live the rest of my life as a “dis-integrated” man, always trying to hide myself from others based on a lie that if they really knew what I was doing, they would reject me.   But I didn’t always understand that I truly was a sex-addict. It wasn’t unti...

Have you ever felt like God was nudging you towards something challenging in life?  Maybe a call to step out of your comfort zone and venture into the unknown. It can be intimidating, right? Would you be willing to take that leap of faith and trust that God has your best interests at heart, even when the path ahead seems uncertain? If you have taken that leap, have you experienced God's faithfulne...

Does a cheating husband who has chosen the path of repentance and recovery experience any losses? The short answer is yes. But it may not be evident to a betrayed wife, especially when stacked up against her seemingly infinite losses. She may not see many tangible losses or consequences for his infidelity.   Today, we are going to outline some perceived perks received by the husband stemming from...

One of our listeners wrote in to ask a question about how to help her friend who is going through the pain of sexual betrayal. First, we just want to say how grateful we are for those of you who take time to write us and share what’s on your heart. We love to get questions that we can answer from our experience. Please keep them coming!   Today we will discuss two different types of friends in thi...