Zero to Zero

Great news for fans of The Suicide Squad: this whole movie is The Suicide Squad! We're watching the second part of it and things are heating up in Corto Maltese! We've got the hottest ships in town: Thinkmaker, Peacemaker x Reader, and maybe more! Looks like everyone wants a piece of Peacemaker... including Rick Flag! Hopefully that's all fine and nothing bad happens! Sam | Val | Gigalithic Twitte...

They decided to give us another competently made movie! We're watching the first third of The Suicide Squad, and talking about all the things it does better than the original. Or, one might say, how it does all things better than the original! For example, there is a weasel named Weasel who is a weasel, and a shark named Shark who is a shark. Nice!!! Sam | Val | Gigalithic Twitter

Wonder Woman 1984 truly is a land of contrasts! The third act may not be good , but they definitely saved some of the best parts for last. There's some acting, some emotions, a climax that isn't just a punching fight with a CGI monster... It doesn't save the movie by any means, but they were doing some stuff here! It's a shame Kristen Wiig wasn't around to see it. She had to leave so they could do...

Act 2 of Wonder Woman 1984 hits you like a sledgehammer straight to the brain! Steve is a caveman! Wonder Woman is a five thousand year old anthropologist who doesn't know what happened to Rome! The extremely messed up circumstances of their romance are basically unquestioned! Wonder Woman forgets that the movie has a villain! Please help us! Sam | Val | Gigalithic Twitter

Time for a normal movie! We're watching act 1 of Wonder Woman 1984, which people might like. Join us as we break down the way too long opening, the way too straight friendship between Diana and Barbara, and the way too creepy romance between Diana and Some Guy's Stolen Body! Classic eighties things! Sam | Val | Gigalithic Twitter

Could it be possible? A movie that is good from beginning to end? In this day and age? It's more likely than you think! Let's give thanks to Cathy Yan and Christina Hodson for going to the trouble of making Birds of Prey good! Hey, how do you give thanks again? Is it by talking about poopoo peepee? I hope so, or this episode is going to be a real swing and a miss! (Harley Quinn baseball bat refere...

In the second act of Birds of Prey, the movie continues to be good! Lots of great sicko content and leg destruction to keep us entertained, plus we meet a new character who many are saying is the crossbow killer. We've had a great time with the movie so far... here's hoping the third act isn't ruined by Sionis drinking Big CGI Monster Boss Battle Juice! Sam | Val | Gigalithic Twitter

The wave of "pretty good" to "good" movies continues, with Birds of Prey and the Way Too Big, Long Movie Title! They decided to pull out all the stops with this one: a great cast, doing great acting, with great costume design (according to the two of us who notice that stuff.) This movie got THEMES?! Also, Zsasz takes some faces off! Yucko! Sam | Val | Gigalithic Twitter

Rejoice! In an unprecedented result, the third act of Shazam was actually the best part of the movie! Dr. Sivana is a next level creep, the foster kids are simply nice, and the villain is defeated through a clever brain play instead of the hero getting mad and punching a CGI monster harder than before. What an ending! I wonder what happened to that caterpillar though?? Sam | Val | Gigalithic Twitt...

We took a week off for The Holidays but we're back in 2022 to talk about the second third of Shazam! It's not terrible, but not particularly good either. Fortunately we still managed to wring two hours of discussion out of this viewing, due in no small part to Dr. Sivana fully looking like Sans. Thank god! The podcast is saved! Sam | Val | Gigalithic Twitter

The era of Wow! Movie! is over. It's been several months since we looked the work of Mr. Snyder. We remembered what movies look like and we are capable of looking at one without reflexively bursting into applause. How does Shazam treat us now that the bar is no longer underground? Well, I guess you'll have to listen and find out! It's pretty good. Sam | Val | Gigalithic Twitter

They said it couldn't be done! They said we would never finish watching Aquaman! We proved the haters wrong and forced them to spit out their cereal in a funny jpeg this week as we finally bring Aquaman to a close. Who knew this movie would be fun and good? It's like an underground success! Or perhaps... an underwater? We also say goodbye to Pregnant by Aquaman. It doesn't have an ending, but we d...

Boy, we must really like this movie or be terrible at talking about it if we're four episodes into Aquaman, huh? Possibly both, because this isn't even all of it! This week, we watched about 25 minutes of Aquaman, partially but not entirely because we want to finish the funny fanfic next week. It's probably for the best though, because they sure did put four different movies in this small segment!...

~2 weeks later We're back in Atlantis once again to discuss I don't know how much of Aquaman. I've stopped writing it down but surely nobody is actually watching along at this glacial pace of ours. Anyway, Aquaman wakes up in chains and Orm immediately baits him into INVOKING THE COMBAT OF THE KINGS! They go to THE RING OF FIRE! and talk about THE LEGEND OF THE KARATHEN! This movie loves lore like...

We bit off more than we could chew last week, so here we are to finish off the first chunkus of Aquaman! We're doing great! Patrick Wilson and Dolphin Lundgren are here to say LORE!!! at us, which is fun. So fun, in fact, that we gloss over a lot of it and the episode ends up being a little on the short side. Thankfully, Wattpad is here to pick up the slack. Someone is going to get Pregnant by Aqu...

It's time to get wet! We're watching Aquaman, and despite feeling fairly lukewarm about it at first, we ultimately found ourselves talking for so long about how much we enjoyed it that we realized we needed to cut this movie into more than three parts. Wow! Is this actually a good movie or have our brains just been so destroyed by Zack that we think any vaguely coherent movie is peak cinema? That'...

The DCEU giveth, and the DCEU taketh away. I don't think I'm being too dramatic saying that. We didn't like the third act of Wonder Woman. The curse of blockbuster superhero movies strikes again and transforms David Thewlis into a CGI monster man who throws CGI Gal Gadot at walls. Exciting! I'm sure Aquaman will probably be different, ha ha. Sam | Val | Gigalithic Twitter

Well, who could've seen this coming? We're watching the second third of Wonder Woman and, well, we all really like it! So much, in fact, that we spent nearly an hour and a half talking about how much more enjoyable it is to watch than just about any other superhero movie these days, especially Batman v Superman. Thank you, Patty Jenkins! Hopefully the next movie is terrible again so we can get thi...

What if a movie was good for once? Well, that would be nice for us! Not sure if Wonder Woman is that movie yet, but so far, it's fine. It's got all the stuff you want in a movie: epic horse girls doing bow and arrow stunts with German soldiers, and colors! It's also got Gal Godot, so who's to say if it's good or not? (Us!) Hopefully we'll reach a decision on that by the end of the dang thing. Sam...

Another movie down! We wrap up Suicide Squad and salute the brave Navy SEALs following the squad in the background who turned out to be the main characters all along. Sorry if this episode description is pretty sparse, it turns out this movie barely has a plot and nothing happens in it. Well, see you in the next one! Some people like Wonder Woman! Will we join them? Sam | Val | Gigalithic Twitter

It's the second third of Suicide Squad and my brain hurts! The movie is hard to watch, but the Squad is here, and the Squad is Suicide. We even got two surprise bonus members: Slipknot and- We even got a surprise bonus member: Katana! Welcome to the team! Pull up a chair and come listen to some hit songs with us! What's going on in this movie? Enchantress got a free hat! Sam | Val | Gigalithic Twi...

Ah, jeez. We've really done it this time. We decided that it would be fun to watch the first 36 or so minutes of Suicide Squad (2016 film, not The). It wasn't! Amanda Waller is here, and she's got a plan to assemble a team of wacky weirdos. Is it a good plan? No. Is there any reason to do it? Not really. At least not until she does it, because Amanda Waller is a woman who enjoys to cause problems...

If you're a fan of buildings getting knocked over, this is the episode for you! We watched the last hour of Man of Steel and you can probably guess what happens. Remember how Bruce Wayne was mad in Batman v Superman? Well, this is the part of the movie where Zod and Clark team up to make that happen. Clark fights some semi-nameless goons, crashes some semi-nameless ships, and has a lot of fun doin...

Well, the honeymoon is over. We were all so excited to go on our honeymoon with Henry Cavill, but it's all unraveling as we watch minutes 44 through 88 of Man of Steel. You know it's bad when we managed to talk about a third of the movie for the length of the whole movie! How is the chemistry between Amy Adams and Henry Cavill so bad? Why does Pa Kent wish death on all children? Why is Alex Jones...

After a cumulative runtime of 425 minutes of bad movie, we've arrived at the promised land: Man of Steel. The Snyderverse movie that people generally agree is the least worst. Will we agree? So far, yes! It's a movie! It's less than three hours long! What more could you possibly want? The bar is set so low, this has to be the correct watch order! Thank you, Zack! Sam | Val | Gigalithic Twitter