Zen Wisdom for Your Everyday Life

Send us Fan Mail Most of us repeat the same old pattern in relationships again and again. We react automatically to whatever happens, based upon our expectations and conditioning. This puts us on a merry go round that keeps spinning and it seems that there is no way off. But there is. The way is simple, enjoyable, healthy and incredibly life giving. Value Centered Relationships bases all relations...

Send us Fan Mail Believe it or not, there was an amazing teacher in India called the Jillalemudi Mother, and when asked who she was replied, "I am the Mother Who Cannot Be Wounded." A friend lived at her ashram for several years. No matter what was done or said to her, she only responded with love. Couldn't be otherwise. Some say she was born in that condition.  As years went by and...

Send us Fan Mail So often we search for meaning, connection or fulfillment in our relationships. We may do all the right things, find the "right" people, spend quality time together and yet a sense of "meaning or fullness" eludes us. We try to figure out why this is happening, not realizing that "meaning or fulfillness" is not a commodity, not something we can order u...

Send us Fan Mail During the holiday season so many feel alone, remembering those who are no longer here, or the holidays gone by. This is a time of love and connection, celebrating together and sharing memories. As times are different right now, we must reach further into our relationships and realize that those we've loved and interacted with deeply are always with us. Right here. Our connec...

Send us Fan Mail Most of us the sorrow, upset and difficulty in relationships happens when things don't go our way. Our hopes, demands, images and dreams have been dashed. All the work we did to make things "work out" has failed. Many label themselves and others failures. They refuse to try again, or develop resentment against themselves, against others and even life itself.  What w...

Send us Fan Mail This Episode is in two parts.  It's fascinating to notice that the natural world works together organically,  in incredible harmony, intelligence. Night follows day, spring follows winter. Everything has a time and place and is allowed to function as it is intended. There's no competition between flowers for which is more beautiful. One tree does not try to squash anothe...

Send us Fan Mail PART 2: his Episode is in two parts.  It's fascinating to notice that the natural world works together organically,  in incredible harmony, intelligence. Night follows day, spring follows winter. Everything has a time and place and is allowed to function as it is intended. There's no competition between flowers for which is more beautiful. One tree does not try to squash...

Send us Fan Mail The great suffering we all endure is the sense of separation from one another and ourselves. The world as we experience it, is experienced as an opponent. We're always getting ready for trouble, danger, sorrow and betrayal.   As we build up our defenses, we are in fact, creating the prison of fear and aloneness we then become trapped in. The stronger our defenses and oppositi...

Send us Fan Mail We live as though we are separate, and seek connection, provision and understanding wherever we go. However, Zen practice shows us that whatever we do, we are connected. There is nothing but relationship. And as we understand and practice this, as we honor all that comes to us, it becomes easy to see that the Giver and Receiver are one. The ancient Zen practice of begging, Takahat...

Send us Fan Mail It might come as a surprise to wonder about what our relationship is dedicated to, but this important step makes all the difference in how things will proceed. For many a relationship is a shelter to hide from the world in. For others it is a delicious meal, there to fill them up and make them happy.  When they become tired of the food, or can no longer digest it, the relationship...

Send us Fan Mail One of the cornerstones of all relationships is the giving and receiving of support. For many this becomes complicated as they feel the happiness of another is dependent upon them. They must guide or control another. Many stop focusing upon their own lives, believing  it's their job to  take away another's suffering.  This kind of relationship is often based upon sharing...

Send us Fan Mail When we look deeply at Zen it is easy to see that truly, it is  truly the practice of love. The practice of nurturing out lives and the lives of all we meet  It may seem odd to think that love is a practice! Most think of it as a spontaneous arising of the heart, something that comes out of the blue. While that may be so, it is also important to prepare the soil of our lives for t...

Send us Fan Mail We all want love and then when we find it can become enormously thrilled. Things may be wonderful, perfect for a while. We are caught in the delicious excitement of finding love. But after awhile, inevitably that excitement fades. And the sense of having found what we've always been searching for may disappear as well. The question then often rises, "What happened? Where...

Send us Fan Mail Most of us think  that we have to sort out what's valuable and what isn't.  If something doesn't meet our needs or standards, we often toss it away, labelling it as waste, or garbage. We do this with all kinds of things, including people and relationships. But Zen practice teaches there is no such thing as garbage. Everything has value and can be received as nourish...

Send us Fan Mail Most of us use our relationships to feel good, safe, wanted, valued. We choose the people we want to interact with and eliminate anyone who is challenging or upsetting. Basically the illusion is that this will keep us happy and strong. Actually, the opposite is true. We are missing an amazing opportunity to expand, grow and get to know not only others, but to really know ourselves...

Send us Fan Mail No matter how much we practice, once we get up from the cushion, or any other practice we do, we encounter one person after another, one relationship after the next. Some are affirming and joyous, others may cause upset or difficulty.  All of these relationships are simply extensions of our practice. Each person we meet, whoever they are, is our teacher in what it means to love. N...

Send us Fan Mail Zen practice helps us dissolve many illusion that grip us.  We learn how to stay present to what's happening, see what's right here,  appreciate each moment, and to take our clarity and new perspective into our everyday life. In the same way, as we practice in life, and in our relationships we can discover the many ways in which we are gripped by Counterfeit Love. Most p...

Send us Fan Mail We all think relationships are difficult, difficult to find, to keep and to enjoy. But the true heart of Zen practice says something different.  Zen points to the fact that we are in relationships continually,  and that everyone we meet is our teacher, in  what it really means to love. And our teacher  how to thoroughly appreciate this life we are living now. No matter what is goi...

Send us Fan Mail We all long for things to be different, fresh, alive, brand new. But to make the New Year  new, we have to be new! The days roll on as they do, but they can become fresh, alive and meaningful, no matter what's going on. It all depends upon the way, we view things, how we respond, who we are. As we become able to look through new eyes, what we see becomes new. When we look thr...

Send us Fan Mail As the New Year approaches we naturally look over the year gone by. In the process, we accept some aspects of it, reject others, long to change certain things that happened or do them over again. There is a sense that the year was not complete, perhaps a feeling of remorse or guilt at what has transpired. Yet, a fundamental  symbol in Zen Practice is One Complete Circle. This circ...

Send us Fan Mail Much of the time life does not go as we've planned for, and we become distressed. If events don't go according to our liking or according to our expectation we feel something is wrong - either with the events or with ourselves. But life happens as it has to, and when we accept, enjoy and even celebrate each moment, as it is, we will often find unexpected discoveries.  Al...

Send us Fan Mail During this holiday so many are running in all kinds of directions, no knowing what to do next. As we check off one activity after another, make one plan after the next, our heads are often spinning. Am I getting the right gift? Am I doing the right thing? It does seem as if the world lies on our shoulders, and we dare not make a mistake.  This attitude itself robs our joy from us...

Send us Fan Mail So many of us are looking over the year gone by, going over our goals and actions. Sadly, many conclude that they are failures. They haven't performed as they might have wished, haven't been able to control things. This malady of constantly judging ourselves, our lives and others to see if we have failed or succeeded, is not a part of true Zen Practice.  Constantly looki...

Send us Fan Mail This amazing season is a time of turning deeply to the light.  Many holidays converge at this time all dedicated to living a life if kindness, wisdom and truth. It often seems as if we are left alone in this world , having to battle gigantic forces, having no power to turn darkness around. This, and many other illlusions can grip us and tie us up in a season of pain or despair. Ho...

Send us Fan Mail You Cannot Be Depressed And Grateful at the Same Time. Gratitude is a gift not only to others, but to yourself as well. The mad mind constantly tries to find what's wrong with life, with others and with the day It filters out the beauty and joy, dwells on pain and disappointment and tries to take over our lives. Gratitude is a powerful medicine for all that ails us. Take char...