You've Got to Be Critting Me

The party's farmyard stakeout finally kicks off! After a night of elaborate planning, questionable traps, and plenty of animal antics, the team faces off against a group of gnolls and a towering, rune-covered giant stepping through a mysterious portal. Chaos erupts as stealthy setups devolve into roars, tripping gnolls, and frantic improvisation. Will they stop the giant before he escapes? And wha...

The party’s stay in Beckinsdale takes a surprising turn as they meet a mysterious figure named Jimbo at the job board, and he's got just the kind of odd quest they didn’t know they were looking for. Between emotional shopping sprees, cryptic hints, and suspicious new allies, our adventurers find themselves drawn deeper into the town's secrets. Will they keep their focus (or their gold)? Or will Ji...

After surviving a battle underground, the party heads to Beckinsdale and sets their sights on something far more dangerous: shopping. Todd gets mysterious with his money, Malcius seeks magical upgrades (and maybe a little flair), Thormir stocks up on natural remedies, and Sefi debates the merits of potion flavors. As the crew browses local wares, their packs get heavier, but so do the questions ab...

The party returns to the well beneath Almore Island, determined to finish what they started. With rope in hand and tension high, they make the dangerous descent into the darkness once more. Navigating the familiar stone corridors, they prepare themselves for a confrontation with the creature they narrowly escaped before. But as they press deeper, they discover the island's dangers haven't diminish...

The party tries to enjoy a peaceful morning in town... until Malcius drops a bombshell over breakfast: a cursed statue version of himself, born from a magic bean, wants him dead. As they debate whether to smash it, sell it, or study it, tensions rise and secrets surface. With old ghosts stirred and new plans brewing, the group returns to the island and prepares to face the monster they once left b...

Episode 16 – “The Idiots and Their Beans” Back in Sestone, the party takes a moment to rest, reconnect, and reflect, but peace is a fragile thing. As strange gifts are unwrapped and unsettling questions arise, even the comfort of home can't keep the nightmares away. A bizarre magical discovery threatens to unravel everyone's patience… and possibly their sanity. DM: Jeffery Jordan Malcius: Travis S...

Episode 15: No One Left Behind Cornered in the dark tunnels beneath the monastery, the party faces their deadliest challenge yet - a monstrous carrion crawler lurking in the shadows. With magic and steel, they rally together, fighting not only for their own lives but for the freedom of every prisoner left on the island. As the sea roars against the cliffs and the last escape routes narrow, despera...

New to You’ve Got to Be Critting Me and want to catch up fast? This special recap episode covers the story so far - from our party’s arrival in Setstone, to the horrors of Almore Island, to the whispers of the Far Realm itself. 🎭 Meet our heroes: Malcius Sorrow - tiefling bard with flair (and questionable use of Thunderwave ). Sefi - a towering goliath fighter who doesn’t hesitate to act. Thormir...

Episode 14: The Weight of a Name The battle may be over, but the aftermath is just beginning. In the shadow of the rift, our heroes come face to face with their newfound powers-and the haunting whispers that accompany them. Malcius wrestles with imposter syndrome, Todd forms a strange new pact (and gains an imp with attitude), and the party is left wondering: are they truly the legendary "Unfated...

Deep beneath the ruined monastery, the party’s plan teeters on the edge of discovery. With Zaharel still under Malcius’s charm, the adventurers navigate treacherous tunnels, deceiving monstrous enforcers and dodging ancient threats in the shadows. But time is running out, and the rift waits. As Todd’s rat companion grows more restless, drawn to an unknown power pulsing just beyond reach, secrets b...

In this thrilling episode of You've Got to Be Critting Me , the party ventures deeper into the treacherous ruins of the monastery. When a mysterious druid, Zaharel, emerges from the shadows, alliances are questioned, and Malcius’s charm magic is put to the ultimate test. With each step, the heroes uncover darker secrets, from the enigmatic rift below to the looming threat of Guthber's sinister pla...

Trapped in the depths of the monastery’s ruins, our adventurers face their greatest enemy yet: puzzles. With spectral hauntings behind them and eerie statues ahead, Malcius, Sefi, Thormir, and Todd must unravel the mystery of a cryptic inscription, a locked lantern, and a glowing orb that definitely doesn’t want to be touched (looking at you, Todd). As frustration mounts and lightning damage stack...

A simple exploration turns into a haunting encounter as the party delves deeper into the monastery ruins. Between eerie whispers, floating bones, and a cryptic stone door, tensions rise as they uncover a long-forgotten tomb. But when curiosity gets the best of them, they quickly learn that some doors are better left closed... and some spirits aren’t ready to rest. With skeleton battles, risky puzz...

In this episode, the party delves deeper into the eerie ruins of Almore Island, uncovering unsettling mysteries and facing dangerous foes. With traps, moldy corpses, and a sinister discovery waiting around every corner, they’ll need to rely on wit, magic, and a bit of luck to survive. Will they find the missing villagers in time, or will the island's secrets prove too much to handle? Tune in for t...

The party continues their journey through the eerie monastery, encountering unsettling visions and uncovering remnants of the past. From a tense standoff with giant rats to mysterious voices and the discovery of cryptic artifacts, their exploration takes a darker turn. With every step deeper into the monastery, the adventurers piece together more of the island’s secrets while facing the growing da...

As the party ventures further into the ominous monastery, they encounter unsettling horrors. A half-mutated man, a graveyard of rising skeletons, and the ever-looming threat of discovery. Tensions escalate when a thunderous spell reverberates through the island, culminating in the ominous tolling of a bell that signals danger on all sides. With every step, the adventurers uncover more about the is...

The party sails back to Sestone with Gregor’s reclaimed goods in tow, ready to fulfill their deal. As they reflect on their recent adventures, discussions of strange dreams and lingering mysteries hint at unsettling connections. With new information and an ominous urgency, the party begins preparing for their next journey back to the island to uncover what lies ahead. Tune in for an episode of ref...

In this episode of  You've Got to Be Critting Me , our adventurers find themselves navigating a smoke-filled cove as they plan a daring ambush on a gnoll crew. Tensions run high as the team attempts to balance stealth and strategy, only for chaos to erupt when battle breaks out. From critical hits to creative tactics, the party faces off against relentless foes in a fight that pushes their sk...

In this episode of You've Got to Be Critting Me , strange dreams and lingering dangers haunt our adventurers. After a night of unsettling, vivid nightmares, the party awakens with a sense that something sinister is afoot. As they shake off the disturbing visions, they head to Almore island in search of the missing goods. As they approach the shoreline tensions rise as they encounter a suspicious f...

The party dives deeper into Sestone’s mysteries, meeting a dockworker who shares unsettling rumors of missing townsfolk and ghostly sightings. But their night takes a dark turn back at the tavern when two monstrous, tentacled creatures crash into the kitchen. Forced into a fierce battle, the adventurers realize the dangers are far greater than they imagined and prepare for their next step: heading...

In this episode, our adventurers find themselves in a local tavern, where the drinks are strong, and the rumors are stronger. As they send off Erin and prepare for their next steps, they dig into the mysteries surrounding the missing fishermen at the docks. With a potential lead on Almore Island, the party debates whether to question the families of the lost or head straight into the unknown. Tens...

In the very first episode of You've Got to Be Critting Me , our newly-formed adventuring party arrives in the quiet port town of Sestone, only to be thrust into chaos when a young man named Harold stumbles into town, horribly mutated with squid-like features. As the group scrambles to help him, they begin unraveling a mystery involving strange disappearances, dark magic, and eerie transformations....

Welcome to You've Got To Be Critting Me! , a live play D&D podcast where chaos, laughter, and heartfelt moments collide! In this inaugural episode, meet our party of adventurers: 🗡️ Sefi, the Goliath Fighter - An ex-conscripted soldier seeking the family taken from her. 🎶 Malcius Sorrow, the Tiefling Bard - A charming musician on the run from his past. 🌿 Thormir Moonsight, the Dwarf Druid -...