Your Other Family

It's an undoubtedly difficult season for many in our community, and we talk about singleness during the holidays: the disconnect, the loneliness, and the finding of hope and joy when hope and joy may feel so far away. Tom, Ryan, and Jacob share their stories of holidays past and present, answering some listener questions along the way, including the concept of spending the holidays with chosen fam...

For better or worse, we all start with families of origin. But what of this concept of families of choice? A chosen family that goes beyond blood and DNA? Join Tom, Ryan, and Jacob for a discussion on chosen family: what it means for the LGBTQ+ community, what it means for believers in Christ, and what it means for this overlap of communities like YOB, Revoice, and beyond. Beyond our awesome conve...

We're diving deeper into emotional attachment with special guest, Taylor Zimmerman! Taylor's blogged at Spiritual Friendship and spoken at Revoice. He's a University of Chicago student currently pursuing his third (3rd!) master's degree with interests in philosophy of religion, theology, and psychoanalysis — and how they all come together. Taylor talks to us about attachment theory and the four at...

We're back! After a brief summer hiatus, we return with our landmark fiftieth episode. Join Tom, Ryan, and Jacob sharing stories of emotional attachment: the good ways we attach to other men, and the not-so-good ways we attach. We open the episode by catching up on our summer trips and activities, and Tom gives some clarifications from our previous episode on "Letting Go." We also have our "manly...

Pull up a chair as Tom talks about the recent decision to remove our first 39 podcast episodes. Join Tom, Ryan, Jacob, and Dean for a vulnerable conversation on letting go. Letting go of people, letting go of the past, and letting go of the future. Because if we can't let go of old things, how can we ever let new things in? Before we dive into the nitty-gritty, we talk about Tom's Lenten "masturba...

What happens when intimacy with another fails to fulfill or runs out altogether? Can we ever ask for more intimacy? Can we trust again when intimacy is lost? Join Tom, Ryan, and Jacob in the second of our two-part discussion on intimacy. We revisit last month's episode with an insightful listener comment about spiritual intimacy as well as a response on same-sex intimacy from one of our straight m...

Intimacy is scary, and intimacy is vulnerable. Intimacy can be shared or rejected. Intimacy is special and sacred, and intimacy is everyday. Intimacy is sexual and emotional, physical and spiritual. Join Tom, Ryan, and Jacob in the first of a two-part deep dive into intimacy. The brothers define intimacy, likening it to a fire, discussing the differences and nuances between intimacy and vulnerabil...

Many SSA/LGBT+ people struggle to find inclusion in the church — a safe place at least, and a nurturing place at best. This episode, we bring a very special guest onto the show. His name is Matt, who among other claims to fame (which we waste little time diving into), also pastors at Ryan's church and oversees Ryan's ministry to non-straight people, Intersect. We dive into their ministry relations...

Is self-care selfish? How do we commit to healthy practices across all areas of our lives, not just physical ones, as men? Join Tom, Ryan, and Dean for a healthy discussion on self-care to start the new year! We talk about new year resolutions, one-word themes, and bring back good ole SPERM counts (spiritual, physical, emotional, relational, mental) for checking in with one another. There's a lot...

Who is Jesus? What role does Jesus play in our stories and our struggles? Join Tom, Ryan, and first-timer Kevin for a long overdue discussion on the cornerstone of this entire community: Jesus. We talk about our individual beginnings with Jesus, our favorite Jesus stories, and how Jesus intersects our sexuality and masculinity. We also make a startling revelation about the viral "Vintage Jesus" vi...

How do men experience body image compared to women? On a physical level and an emotional level, what does it mean to possess a healthy male body image? And how do our sexualities tie into our body image? Join Tom, Ryan, and first-timer Jacob for a discussion on male body image. We talk insecurities about body shapes, friendship desirability, penis size, balding, and our innate sense of masculinity...

How have our culture -- and we ourselves -- understood and expressed issues of sexuality across the generations? Join Tom, Ryan, and Marshall for a conversation on these varying generational perspectives: Tom and Ryan as millennials and Marshall as a baby boomer. We discuss how the generations have addressed sexuality and "coming out" over the decades, accessibility to pornography and promiscuous...

Why do we choose a traditional, "Side B" sexual ethic as men who follow Jesus? Do we choose this life solely for our convictions or in spite of them? Do we live out a gay/SSA celibate life with joy or in angst and suffering? Tom welcomes Ryan and Matt for a discussion on why we're Side B, as opposed to "Side A" (gay-affirming), and where these labels even come from. We include some formerly Side A...

Change happens to all of us. Relational change. Spiritual change. Seasons of life that take us to the redemptive mountaintops and valleys of shadows. Tom welcomes Ryan and Dean for our first episode back after a monthlong hiatus. It's an episode of literal change with new sounds, new segments, and new features as we dive into a discussion on the most pivotal changes in our lives. We discuss our au...