You Didn't Ask For This

Zacky D, the interim co-host for you and me, returns to fill in Matt's spot under the shady tree that is Eric's lanky body...but Matt isn't entirely absent this time. This episode marks the return of Hidden Objectives, this time provided for Poch and Zack by none other than Mr. Shea himself. Also, that weird ghost in the machine seems to still be around. Weird. Question-wise, Eric a...

While Matt takes a sabbatical to learn how to parent, Poch is joined by none other than the illustrious Zack Deuce ( The Neatcast, Podcasters Assemble ). Together they answer:  What is the most unethical (but non-violent) thing you can do with a pencil? And if two psychics read each other’s minds at the same time, whose thought counts as the original thought? Also: What would you do if you saw an...

This week we tackle a 'compound question' from the Discord. A three-part adventure, if you will. Can a Vampire Policeman enter my house if they have a warrant? If you had to set a trap for your co-host, what would you use as bait to guarantee they fall for it? And can the plot leading up to the vampire becoming a policeman and what the warrant is for be explained, as well as the precedin...

How long is someone allowed to cough in a movie theater before you get someone to kick them out? Then: Lost in the Sauce....what sauce?  To close this one out, we warm up our Definitive Ranking muscles with a mini-ranking of the Danish Butter Cookies. You know the ones. Join our Patreon! $1/month Access to the YDAFT Discord $4/month Access to the YDAFT Discord 20% off all merch  Access to our mont...

Earth Day was two weeks ago, but that doesn't stop us from dedicating an entire episode to Mother Gaia (okay, mostly dedicated to Mother Gaia). We forego a closing segment to answer three new questions: What is the National Anthem of the Internet? How can I get The Youth to get excited about balloon release alternatives? And what do the trees in the park gossip about? " Chocolate Rain &q...

Is a hose a cord? At what point can someone officially consider themselves "World Renowned/World Famous"?  It's our first episode under new branding and the Squonk demands a sacrifice...so it's time for Hidden Objectives II. Join our Patreon! $1/month Access to the YDAFT Discord $4/month Access to the YDAFT Discord 20% off all merch  Access to our monthly bonus episodes...&quot...

Why do we have to “get down to brass tacks?” What happens if brass tacks aren’t enough? What would we upgrade to? And how can we class up our euphamisms for using the bathroom? Those answers await before Eric quizzes Matt on his knowledge of hobbies.  Join our Patreon! $1/month Access to the YDAFT Discord $4/month Access to the YDAFT Discord 20% off all merch  Access to our monthly bonus episodes....

On this episode, we answer: What would happen if humans had a “low battery” warning — what would it look or sound like? Can beggers ever be choosers? Then we return to the dark and mysterious halls governed by The Council of Matts in a special Circleback/Follow-up. Join our Patreon! $1/month Access to the YDAFT Discord $4/month Access to the YDAFT Discord 20% off all merch  Access to our monthly b...

Our questions this week: When does a guess become a guesstimate? You know that expression of incredulity, “if that’s true, I’ll eat my hat?” If you said this and then the thing turned out to be true, which of your hats would you choose to eat, and how would you prepare it for consumption?  Then, Eric provides Matt with yet another new closing segment: No Context. It's got some visual aids, so...

What are the worst/next best ways to sign an email instead of "sincerely", "best", etc? We provide some spicier sign-offs for your next work email before answering an age-old question: what are the subjects of Mambos 1-4?  Then, Eric's got a Pop Quiz for Matt: Baby or Bathwater?  Join our Patreon! $1/month Access to the YDAFT Discord $4/month Access to the YDAFT Discord 20...

Uh oh: ya boys are out here bending the limits of the podcasting medium again. In this episode, the closing segment begins at the same time as the cold open as we debut a new episode-long game: Hidden Objectives.  But don't worry, we've got questions for you as well: What should we say to people when they have the hiccups? And at what point does a snack become a meal, legally speaking? A...

If time travel is ever invented, what is the first prank that you would pull on someone from the past? What secrets should innocent-looking animals hold to keep us humans on our toes? Then we share two very different local legends.  Don't forget to submit your Bingo cards! GET YOUR 2026 YDAFT BINGO CARD HERE Canva is dumb and took away the template feature for free accounts, so save this suck...

It's the classic conundrum: you're in witness protection...but you're also in love. When do you spill the beans to your lover? Then, how does one address an elephant in a room?  We close things out today with a new game from Poch: Drugeons and Dragons! (It's a Pop Quiz)  Don't forget to submit your Bingo cards! GET YOUR 2026 YDAFT BINGO CARD HERE Canva is dumb and took awa...

It's the Bingosode! We go through our selections for the year while saying goodbye to one particular tradition. What can we say? You kill and you learn. GET YOUR 2026 YDAFT BINGO CARD HERE Canva is dumb and took away the template feature for free accounts, so save this sucker as a copy before you fill it out!  Bingo cards must be emailed to youdidntaskforthis@gmail.com   by 2/1/26 Join our Pa...

The Christmas episode is here! Matt and Eric have to contend with a curse plaguing the episode when they get a little too close to the truth about the location of Santa's workshop. Then: a very special JINGLE GRIPES! Join our Patreon! $1/month Access to the YDAFT Discord $4/month Access to the YDAFT Discord 20% off all merch  Access to our monthly bonus episodes..."Opps! All Tangents!&qu...

After a best-of break, we're back with these bangers: How does one become "a regular" somewhere? If you could replace all pigeons with one other animal that serves the same “city animal” role, what would it be and why? Then, Matt introduces a spin-off of "Pop Quiz."  Join our Patreon! $1/month Access to the YDAFT Discord $4/month Access to the YDAFT Discord 20% off all mer...

Ya boys have been sick, so instead of hearing our nasty, congested voices, you get a trip down memory lane! We've collected some highlights from Episodes 61-70 (that's half the pod ago!) while we recover to bring you a brand-new episode in two weeks time. Join our Patreon! $1/month Access to the YDAFT Discord $4/month Access to the YDAFT Discord 20% off all merch  Access to our monthly b...

When you tell someone they’re “too much”, what are they “too much” of? What makes a grin a shit-eating grin? After we answer these classic quandaries, we move on to some circle-back/follow-ups, including two #PochPrompts from recent episodes: Noodlescopes and Glizzy edification.  Join our Patreon! $1/month Access to the YDAFT Discord $4/month Access to the YDAFT Discord 20% off all merch  Access t...

The spookisode is finally here, and we've got a very special treat for all you ghouls and ghosts: Halloween Google Gripes! That's right, a first-ever standalone Gripes where we go head-to-head on six Halloween movies.  But first: What's an acceptable Candy Tax to implement on your kids post Trick-or-Treating? And can you reuse a Halloween costume for multiple parties in a year? Join...

For 126 we've cut our closing segment in favor of clearing out some of our question backlog! On the docket for this ep are:  We all "use our noodle"...but what kind of noodle is it? When you hear someone mention the “Muffin Man,” do you picture a human offering muffins… or do you picture a muffin with the face of a man? Do Mermaids have buttholes and how do they poop? What’s the ide...

What is the platonic version of the sex euphemism “getting some vitamin D”? Matt and Eric break that down this week before diving into a host of personal questions you've submitted...which almost brought this episode into Oops, All Tangents territory.  Join our Patreon! $1/month Access to the YDAFT Discord $4/month Access to the YDAFT Discord 20% off all merch  Access to our monthly bonus epi...

How many seagulls would you have to find in your house before you got suspicious someone was putting them there? We dive into this question sourced from a TikTok comment section before tackling: If Boy Scouts had cookies, what would their names be? Finally, Eric wraps things up with a Burning Man Pop Quiz for Matt. Join our Patreon! $1/month Access to the YDAFT Discord $4/month Access to the YDAFT...

After 120 episodes, the unlikeliest of segments to make a return does just that: Unlikely Fights. Who wins: every creature in Australia or every Florida Man? But first: What’s the ultimate field trip experience? Finally, we wrap things up with a special visit to Lindsey's Correction Corner. Join our Patreon! $1/month Access to the YDAFT Discord $4/month Access to the YDAFT Discord 20% off all...

It's a question as confounding as it is simple: Why rubber ducks? We tackle this vague quandary before diving into what other times can join "island time," and what the world would be like if farts were visible. Then, Matt treats Eric to a tasty new Pop Quiz.   Join our Patreon! $1/month Access to the YDAFT Discord $4/month Access to the YDAFT Discord 20% off all merch  Access to ou...

On the docket this week: The teddy bear is named after Teddy Roosevelt. What other stuffed animals should be named after Presidents? What is the “secret chord”? The one that David played, and it pleased the Lord? What bit would you etch on the bit? Then: the season finale of Google Gripes! Join our Patreon! $1/month Access to the YDAFT Discord $4/month Access to the YDAFT Discord 20% off all merch...