You Are Not Crazy

When Dr. Gary Chapman introduced the concept of the Five Love Languages, many embraced it as a revolutionary way to enhance communication and intimacy within relationships. These languages – words of affirmation, acts of service, receiving gifts, quality time, and physical touch – have helped countless couples express their affection more effectively. However, what happens when these love language...

In today's episode, we delve into a profound concept known as "the Teddy Bear Effect," which provides insight into manipulative expectations within abusive relationships. The "Teddy Bear Effect" stems from Patricia Evans' analogy in her book Controlling People. It's about how abusers create an unrealistic version of their partner, treating them as if they were a...

Are you struggling to figure out what is going on in your relationship? In this episode, I unpack emotional immaturity and its connection to abusive behaviors in relationships.  Key Points Discussed: Self-Doubt vs. Self-Work : Many individuals question their sanity due to others not doing their work; it's essential for everyone to examine their behavior. Emotional Maturity Misconceptions : Sm...

Have you ever found yourself questioning your reality within a relationship? If so, you're not alone. Many individuals struggle to reconcile the conflicting words and actions of their partners, especially when those partners are skilled manipulators or abusers. In today's episode, we delve into these discrepancies and offer insights on how to navigate through them. Support the show *Plea...

Emmy Marie joins me to dive into trauma responses—how they develop from abusive relationships and ways to manage them. It's crucial to know ourselves better without the weight of judgment or guilt. We delve into how triggers can remind our bodies of past threats and activate our fight-flight-freeze-fawn responses. Recognizing these patterns allows us to seek safety cues that bring us back to...

Today's episode provides an assessment tool for understanding emotional abuse. Often, abusers distort our reality, making us question ourselves. This tool offers clarity and validation to identify what's truly happening in your relationship. Understanding context, intent, and effect is crucial as they reveal whether actions are part of systemic abuse or isolated incidents. Remember that...

Coercive control is psychological and emotional abuse involving manipulation and oppression—it often goes unnoticed as it disguises itself as care but undermines autonomy. Understanding it is crucial and this episode seeks to better understand this topic. Key Points Discussed: Definition and understanding of coercive control The relationship between coercive control, traumatic bonding, and intermi...

Christina Pierce is a single mother who was stripped of parental rights following her daughter’s heart-wrenching reports of abuse. With each court appearance and every legal document filed, Christina faced an uphill battle against not just her ex-partner but, the judge on her case.  Christina's story is one that resonates with too many. As she navigated the turbulent waters of custody battles...

How do we detach from an abusive partner?  This episode explores why detachment feels tough—it's often likened to breaking an addiction—and offer strategies for stepping back. One common obstacle is the urge to control an ex-partner's actions post-breakup—like checking if they get to work—but this hinders our own healing process. We also tend to manage how much they miss us by monitoring...

A lot of us wonder how we can be healthy after a toxic relationship. Today's guest, Ginger Dean, is a licensed psychotherapist and creator of Loving Me After We .  Ginger shares her expertise in helping women overcome toxic relationships to become their best selves. We discuss attachment trauma, abusive patterns and how to begin to heal. Understanding personal needs is crucial; often derived...

What if you could decipher the enigmatic world of personality disorders? I'm your host, and in a captivating conversation with psychologist Carrie McAvoy, we unravel the complexities of personality disorders, like narcissism, sociopathy, and psychopathy. Carrie's professional expertise coupled with her personal experience as a survivor of narcissistic abuse takes us deeper into understan...

Are you drowning in your High Conflict Divorce? Todays guest, Tori, a Family Court Strategist, shares expert strategies to navigate the turbulent waters of family court. Tori unravels the complexity of the family court system and illuminates the path to a smoother divorce process. Through her story, you'll learn how high-conflict divorces are often mislabeled domestic violence cases, why abus...

Ever wonder what a Narcissist is thinking? Today, we're pulling back the curtain in an enlightening conversation with Ben Taylor, a Self-Aware Narcissist. Ben guides us through narcissistic relationships, shedding light on complex dynamics like hoovering, discarding, and the head-spinning cycle of shame and blame. We also navigate through emotionally abusive behavior and discuss the crucial s...

Emotional abuse is often depicted as a stark, unmistakable force in relationships. However, many suffer from a more insidious form that whispers and weaves itself into their lives with such subtlety that it's almost invisible. It can make victims doubt their sanity when they feel dismissed after trying to be heard.  Today's episode dives into subtle emotional abuse by intelligent abusers...

Do you find yourself confused by the terminology around Narcissistic Abuse? Katherine Kleis returns to unravel the complexities of narcissistic abuse. She helps us decipher the often bewildering lingo associated with Narcissistic relationships. We explore terms like bread crumbing and word salad and understand their role in the larger cycle of abuse.  You can learn more about Katherine and her wor...

How do you heal? In this episode, I dive into the emotional turmoil we all feel and how I emerged more self-aware, resilient and hopeful.  I reveal how I found strength and broke free from a cycle of unhealthy relationships. We'll explore the vital mental shifts that were pivotal in this transformation, and how I recognized my pattern of settling for abusive and emotionally immature partners....

Are you stuck in a trauma bond and struggling to break it? Join Lisa Sonni and I are we dissest Trauma Bonding and paint a vivid picture of what trauma bonding looks like and feels like. We shine a light on the psychological process that fosters a false sense of attachment in abusive relationships. We also bring to surface the feelings of fear, obligation, and guilt that often chain victims to the...

'tis the season for Narcissistic abuse! Does it feel like things are heightened right now? They likely are.  On this episode, we talk through some themes you may be noticing  this season, specifically with co-parenting and high conflict divorce. We will talk through the trends and end with some helpful strategies.  If you need support: https://high-conflictdivorcecoaching.com/ Support the sho...

Does it feel like you will never stop thinking about your ex? Trey De La Torre joins me to dive into rumination, analyze the motives behind narcissistic behaviors, and discuss the signs indicating a narcissist playing the victim.  His insightful humor, personal story, and strategies reveal an inspiring transformational journey.  We cover understanding and overcoming rumination, sharing practical a...

Paul Colaianni joins us for a Q&A episode on Emotional Abuse. We discuss the challenging emotions that come with leaving an abusive relationship, and how understanding these emotions can be the key to reclaiming your personal power. We also delve into the complex territory of setting boundaries in abusive relationships - a stark contrast to the way boundaries function in a healthy relationship...

What is Love Addiction? Jodi White, a seasoned psychotherapist, joins me to discuss what Love Addiction is and how we can heal. Jodi  has devoted her career to helping individuals overcome love addiction and heal from trauma.  This episode covers the heart of love addiction, unearthing its roots in developmental trauma and revealing the blurred boundaries between this and emotional abuse. Our dial...

What does it take to work through trauma and be on a path towards healing and empowerment? Emmy Marie, a certified trauma-informed coach, joins us to discuss complex PTSD and her journey towards reclaiming her power. Emmy articulates the complex relationship between trauma and personal relationships. She emphasizes how the fog of abuse can blur the lines between love and respect, impacting our sen...

Erin Riley,  the author of A Dark Force 20 Years with a Covert Narcissist,  takes us through her journey from having a successful and vibrant professional in the music and entertainment industry to being entrapped in the shadows of a covert narcissist. She  unfolds the realities of narcissistic abuse, revealing how she fell into the love bombing scheme and how she struggled to understand the compl...

Tina Swithin, author of Divorcing a Narcissist and creator of OneMomsBattle.com, has been committed to helping others divorce abusive partners for decades. Together, we dissect the complexities of divorcing a Narcissist and how to protect your children. Our conversation is rooted in our experiences and knowledge, but this isn't a source for legal advice. You should always engage an attorney o...

Navigating the labyrinth of emotional abuse can often be overwhelming. Paul Colainni joins us to help demystify reactive abuse - an insidious form of emotional manipulation where the abuser blames the victim for reacting to the abuse. We dissect the anatomy of reactive abuse, decode the abuser's intentions, and offer insights on how to differentiate it from your response.  You can connect wit...