Work From Bed Friday

This episode was meant to discuss the conclusion to Emily Nagoski's Come As You Are, which turned out to be a teeny, tiny non-chapter. But not to fear! Tommy and Amy pounce on a recent New Yorker article entitled, "The Billionaires' Vagina Club" and manage to turn it into their longest episode ever—the appetizer becomes the main course!  Mentioned in this Episode : "The Bi...

In this last chapter of Emily Nagoski's Come As You Are, Amy & Tommy discuss the the practice of happiness, how Nagoski misses the idea of play, and how we are all swimming in a patriarchal hot tub. Also, cross-body bags and DECIDING. To decide is to educate your monitor. It totally works. Mentioned in this Episode: "What Science Knows About Grief" in  The New Yorker DTF St. Lou...

Are all orgasms created equal? What in the actual world? Tommy and Amy discuss the finer points of Chapter 8 of Emily Nagoski's Come As You Are. Actually, they discuss ALL the points! There are spicy details not to be missed, including a mansplained orgasm. For reals. Mentioned in this Episode: The Husbands  by Holly Gramazio Indian Heaven Come As You Are  by Emily Nagoski, Ph. D. "I kno...

Finally! In Chapter 7 of Come AsYou Are , Emily Nagoski. Ph. D. gets to DESIRE: spontaneous desire and responsive desire and desire threshholds. Mind. Blown. Normalizing high threshold responsive desire is life changing and relationship saving. Also, the chasing dynamic. Wow.  Amy comes up with her favorite metaphor to date: the pleasure pool. Fill it up, keep it full, sparkling, and clean, and di...

Amy & Tommy make it to Chapter 6 of Emily Nagoski's Come As You Are and dive into more of the science of sex (what a fun job!) and more of Nagoski's metaphors (THIS is a restaurant.)—both of which are a little bit mind-blowing. Becoming aware of the dangerous sexual myths embedded in our culture is mind-blowing too. Be prepared. Also, turns out Tommy is a good feminist and Amy is a b...

Our culture plants many of the weeds that choke our sexual garden. In this chapter of Come As You Are by Emily Nagoski, Ph. D., Amy and Tommy discuss cultural context and the "clusterfuck of mixed messages" that effect our sexual well being.  Fifty Shades of Gray  by E L James Come As You Are  by Emily Nagoski, Ph. D. John Craigie I Feel Pretty  starring Amy Schumer Self-Compassion  by K...

Coming off a celebration of their magical 22nd wedding anniversary, Amy & Tommy dive into a rollicking discussion of Chapter 4 of Emily Nagoski's Come As You Are. Mentioned in this Episode: The Sentinel Hotel Come As You Are  by Emily Nagoski, Ph. D. Burnout  by Emily Nagoski, Ph. D. and Amelia Nagoski, DMA The Lents Bridge Project Original Music: Song: Women Only Like Me For My Mind Arti...

The most important sex organ is...the brain!! Even so, Amy & Tommy can't help but start with the clitoris and the fact that it's been largely ignored until the 90s. The NINETEEN NINETIES.  Soon enough they move on to Chapter 3 of Emily Nagoski's Come As You Are , the author-described "nerdy chapter," chock full of brain science. Don't worry, Amy & Tommy find s...

Amy & Tommy begin to connect the dots: have our favorite stories from childhood and teenhood shaped our romantic and sexual selves? Emily Nagoski explains as much in Chapter 2 of Come As You Are. Nagoski first blows the mind with the explanation of the dual-control model: we've all got sexual accelerators and sexual brakes. And not all of us are Lamborghinis! But then, there's CONTEX...

Baby gherkin clits and shameful pudendums. Shleimige flüssigkeiten and pillow talk. Hard AND wet. It's all here in Amy & Tommy's discussion of Chapter 1 of Emily Nagoski's groundbreaking book, Come As You Are . Beginning at the beginning, In Chapter 1, Nagoski guides her readers through genital development from the point of conception through adulthood. We all have the same part...

What IS our human-ness? Is it the SOUL? Or is it the BODY? What is it that reminds us that we aren't supercomputers and that AI-generated bots aren't human? Amy & Tommy dig into that question as they open up Emily Nagoski's Come As You Are for in-depth discussion. Amy confuses the beloved San Francisco Chronicle columnist Herb Caen with an artist at the paper, Warren Goodrich. N...

Welcome to Season 3 of Work From Bed Friday! Inspired by the feminist podcasting duo Amanda Montei and Tracy Clark-Flory of Dire Straights, Amy & Tommy try an AI experiment—in the name of research, of course. Eye-opening, spicy, fascinating, and ultimately disturbing, they discuss the experience candidly, wondering what effect this technology will have on our future love, sex, and connection a...

Amy & Tommy welcome their first podcast guest EVER—Stasia Savasuk! Stasia is a somatic coach and the founder of Stasia's Style School and other empowering courses for women. Stasia first introduced Amy to All About Love by bell hooks. Stasia's transformative experience with the book is what inspired Amy to give it to Tommy which ultimately led to the breakthrough in their marriage. ...

Closing in on the end of Season 2, Amy & Tommy discuss I Love Dick , the 1997 cult feminist classic by Chris Kraus. Lucky for them, the book was made into a fabulous television series in 2016. They discuss both of these works, digging into themes of art, desire, femininity, the patriarchy. The conversation is long and rambling and juicy—following Chris Kraus's lead! Mentioned in this Epis...

What would bell hooks say about AI? Can we imagine her angels as AI bots? How does this chapter's discussion of The Divine figure into the overall philosophy of love? Amy & Tommy jump into all the big questions: the Divine, the cosmos, the Tarot. And AI. This episode discusses the final chapter of All About Love by bell hooks and leads into the completion of Season 2! Stay tuned for a bri...

Intending to start the episode with a discussion of Esther Perel's AI therapy session, Amy & Tommy soon realize that it's a can of worms that need to be opened at a later date! Instead, they remember a favorite podcast episode and the birth of their crowdsourcing efforts: Does Size Matter? Then, it's on to Chapter 12 of All About Love by bell hooks and a discussion of healing an...

Amy & Tommy celebrate their first "pod-iversary" AND the completion of 50 full length episodes with some bubbly, some memories of their first year podcasting, and later, messages from happy listeners. But never fear, they have not forgotten about Chapter 11 of All About Love by bell hooks. The chapter is entitled "Loss: Loving into Life and Death" and Amy and Tommy dive rig...

Amy & Tommy's scrappy DIY podcast production catches up with them—this was the first episode in which they desperately needed an intern! At least to remind them of last episode's "cornerstones of romantic love." But do not fear! Here are all FOUR cornerstones of romantic love that have emerged over the last two episodes: Talk talk talking. Keep the channel OPEN. Treat the r...

What are the secrets to enduring romantic love? Amy & Tommy look for guidance from bell hooks in Chapter 10 of All About Love , but find little there. They offer up their own ideas though, and yearn for a long-term study along the lines of Magnificent Sex that survey people who self-identify as having magnificent romance. Great idea, right?  Thank goodness "Heated Rivalry" is showing...

Amy & Tommy had waaaaay too much to say about Episode 5 of Heated Rivalry. So much, in fact, that they had to make this monster episode into two parts: this episode focuses on Heated Rivalry (typically just the weekly Titillating Tidbit) and their discussion Chapter 10 of All About Love will drop as a separate episode next week. In the meantime, they giddily discuss the romance, the love, the...

Amy & Tommy's obsession with Ilya & Shane may be overshadowing their deep dive into All About Love by bell hooks. But they push on, overlaying this seminal text over the cultural reality of 2026. After all, love is love. And apparently, sex is sex. And always hot. Except when it's not. Listen to the end for a look into the Olympics and "Crotchgate." Heated Rivalry, Epis...

Who knew that watching hot hockey romances in Heated Rivalry would be a fitting companion for Chapter 8 of All About Love by bell hooks?? So many parallels! Also, some welcome spice for the deep dives into love and community. Amy & Tommy discuss the cultural primacy of the nuclear family and its erosion of our ability to love. It's not as contradictory as it seems: we place so much import...

It's another love sandwich: spicy analysis of the viral hockey lovestory/softporn series, "Heated Rivalry" on one slice, a reader lovenote on the other slice, and the meat?  Deep talk about Chapter 7 of All About Love by bell hooks: greed and the ways in which love cannot thrive or even exist in a world driven by greed. Whoa. Amy & Tommy knock the dated examples while being legi...

As our country navigates this this very difficult moment, the words of bell hooks resonate in their prescience. She understood the road that we were, and are traveling. How do we practice a love ethic as a society? How can we stand strong in a love ethic while disinformation, disregard for basic human rights, and a general lack of love abound?  It helps to talk about it. And also to watch a viral...

Tommy and Amy kick off Episode 6 of Season 2 with a tease: a quick peek into what they are reading and which books may make an upcoming episode!  After that Titillating Tidbit, they move on to the meat of the episode: Chapter 5 of All About Love by bell hooks. The discussion on spirituality and love take us from the woods of the Pacific Northwest to the Sombrero Galaxy. Come along for the ride!  A...