With and For hosted by Dr. Pam King

Self-compassion goes much deeper than self-care.  It’s an invitation to reorient the way you live your life through love. Self-compassion then enables us to connect to the rest of humanity. That's one of the main pieces of wisdom that we took away from our conversation with Dr. Kristin Neff, a pioneer in the research of self-compassion, and was the first guest on the recent season of With and For....

At the Thrive Center, we know from research that developing the psychological capacities that we need to thrive, and the clarity about who we are and who we belong to, actually takes practice. These skills and direction just don't come out of nowhere. So to help you on that journey, we've created a special series of wisdom practices. These are short episodes that will guide you through a specific...

What it means to live a flourishing life has been one of the most animating questions of my career, and the brilliant, complex, nuanced conversations I had this season convinced me more than than ever: we are absolutely dependent on the world around us, on our friendships, our families, our communities, for all of us to become more fully alive. Our extraordinary guests on this season of With & For...

Poet Christian Wiman and theologian Miroslav Volf wrote each other letters in which they wrestled honestly with the big questions: what does it mean to love God? What is faith?  Letter writing deepened the friendship between these two intellectuals as they wrestled with their questions about faith and the nature of God.  The longings they discuss speak to our deepest needs for transcendence and co...

The first step in finding meaning and purpose in our lives is radical acceptance of the present moment.  Dave Evans is the co-founder of the Life Design Lab at Stanford, which applies principles of design thinking to our lives. Dave and his co-founder Bill Burnett wrote the hugely popular 2016 bestseller Designing Your Life. Their new book out this year is How to Live a Meaningful Life: Using Desi...

Researcher and author Dr. Todd Rose has one of the most unusual journeys of any academic. Todd dropped out of high school, became a father at a young age, and went on welfare to support his family.  Recognizing his own distinctive talents changed everything for Todd. He realized that humans are not cookie cutters: we have unique gifts, but that is not the same as individualism. We are fundamentall...

 When Jeff Chu turned up to work as a farmhand, he didn’t know anything about gardening. He says he actually had more experience killing plants than nurturing them. But this wasn’t just any farm: this was the Farminary, a 21-acre experiment in sustainable agriculture that’s part of Princeton Theological Seminary. Jeff calls it the world’s best classroom.  Writer, reporter, preacher and teacher Jef...

 What parts of yourself need more attention? What would it mean for those parts to be given space? Today’s conversation dives deep into these questions, leading to a conversation on what it means to be fully alive – and the individual and systemic obstacles that can get in the way of thriving.  Brad and Christin spoke openly about how they confront issues of power and privilege. And they also shar...

 When it comes to thriving, listening to our inner compass is crucial. Living out our purpose alongside others can only really happen when we use the tool of discernment. But that can often feel kind of daunting. It’s hard to know where to begin.  Bonnie Wan has developed a three-step process for tuning into our true desires – and then putting them into action.  Bonnie Wan is a strategist, bestsel...

Help us plan season 4. We want to hear from you. Take our survey now! https://forms.gle/doQYx73hoPU2tRdC7  Social connection is critical for our wellbeing – it’s as important as shelter and food. Combating loneliness can feel risky sometimes - especially if it means reaching out to a stranger. We might fear awkwardness or even rejection. But it’s worth it.  Dr. Natalie Kerr and Dr. Jaime Kurtz are...

 Help us plan season 4. We want to hear from you. Take our survey now! https://forms.gle/doQYx73hoPU2tRdC7 Nicholas Ma is an award-winning film director, writer, and producer. He produced Won't You Be My Neighbor?, about the life of Fred Rogers, which became one of the highest-grossing biographical documentaries ever made.  Nicholas’ latest movie Leap of Faith, is an incredibly ambitious, raw docu...

Help us plan season 4. We want to hear from you. Take our survey now! https://forms.gle/doQYx73hoPU2tRdC7  Lauded MIT professor Rosalind Picard invents technologies that help people better understand emotions and behaviors that impact human wellbeing and health.  In 1997 she wrote an incredibly influential book called Affective Computing, which proposed giving skills of emotional intelligence to c...

In our fractured and sometimes dark world, we so often focus on the leading causes of death – but what if we focused our energy on what gives life? That is the pioneering work of my guests today. Dr. Somava Saha and Rev. Dr. Gary Gunderson are leaders in public health. And while they come from very different faith traditions, together they believe that communities have within them the belonging, a...

 We often think of sacred texts like the Bible as being rigid, set in stone. But actually they’re really nuanced and complex, and crucially, they allow us to bring our own complexity. Dr. Janette H. Ok is a New Testament professor at Fuller Seminary. She empowers her students to embrace their unique perspectives and backgrounds, and use those as powerful tools in biblical reflection. In this conve...

Pádraig Ó Tuama is an Irish poet, theologian and host of the On Being podcast, Poetry Unbound. Belonging, identity and reconciliation are at the heart of his work. Growing up bilingual, speaking both English and Irish, showed Pádraig that there are multiple ways to say things, and multiple ways to look at things.  As a young gay man, Pádraig was subjected to abusive conversion practices, and it wa...

Dr. Richard M. Lerner is a revolutionary force in the field of psychology, which had previously focused on what goes wrong with people. Richard’s relentlessly optimistic vision focuses on what can go right with people, how they can change and grow.  In this special conversation, Pam sits down with her mentor – someone who’s had an influential impact on her career and research, to discuss thriving,...

Spiritual practices can improve your physical and emotional health – but that doesn’t mean spirituality is a wellness hack. David DeSteno’s groundbreaking work explores how religious rituals like prayer and chanting are so beneficial as powerful psychological tools. But what happens if you take these rituals outside of their community context? David can speak to both sides of the equation: the sci...

Many of us reach our 40s and have a wake-up call: a major event that shifts our perspective on what matters in life. Chip Conley had the most dramatic wake-up call ever: a near-death experience. Chip was giving a speech on stage when he died – literally. The experience would set off a chain reaction of events that changed the course of his life. Chip is a renowned entrepreneur, best-selling author...

 Elizabeth Oldfield is a writer, coach and host of the podcast The Sacred, who has dedicated her work to exploring clarity, courage and most of all, connection. And yet – her latest book Fully Alive dives into the seven deadly sins. That’s because Elizabeth believes that sins like pride, greed and wrath, are what break our connection to others. So maybe understanding how these sins are so destruct...

It’s not always easy to see how the four cardinal virtues connect to your everyday life. But prudence, justice, courage, and temperance are vital in helping us thrive. Lee C. Camp is a professor, speaker, writer, and theologian – as well as host of the hit podcast and public radio show No Small Endeavour. His work explores what it means to be flourishing humans - alone and together.  With his wit...

One of Rabbi Shai Held’s first experiences of love was from his father, who loved him ferociously. Tragically, he died when Shai was 12 years old. The experience shook Shai’s belief and trust in God.  But Rabbi Held is someone who can hold the messy contradictions of faith and love. He understands that one minute, we can feel intense love, and the next, we’re full of resentment and frustration. Ra...

When Parker J. Palmer was a young man, he became aware of a growing unrest within him. Guided by his inner voice, he turned down prestigious university jobs and instead took a challenging, unstable job in community organizing. Parker then followed his north star again – and moved with his family to live in a radically equal Quaker community for over a decade.   Parker is an activist and author who...

One of the most persistent myths about self-compassion is that it’s selfish. But in reality, self-compassion connects us to the rest of humanity – and it’s a critical pathway to thriving.  Dr. Kristin Neff is a pioneer in the study of self-compassion. As Associate Professor of Educational Psychology at the University of Texas and founding director of the Self-Compassion Institute, Kristin has spen...

With & For is back with a brand new season exploring spiritual health.  What is healthy  spirituality exactly, and how does it help us thrive? How do spiritual practices connect us to others? And what does it mean to have a calling in life?  We have some incredible guests this season – leading thinkers from across faith, art and psychology – like author activist Parker Palmer, self-compassion pion...

Thriving is a relational journey that involves being deeply connected to others and the community. The importance of a "true north" and discerning what is most sacred to orient one's life. Understanding thriving as accepting a truer story of yourself, others, and the world. Engaging in mindset and behavior changes for flourishing, with self-compassion. Thriving as having resources built up in vari...