Wild & Sublime

Several recent conversations have touched on Betty Martin’s critical work with intimate communication and consent, so we’re revisiting our interview with Martin herself. Sex coach, former sex worker, and Wheel of Consent creator Betty Martin talks to Karen about her book, 40 years of touching people, and how you can practice giving and receiving pleasure. In this episode: Wheel of Consent video li...

Do you avoid difficult conversations with partners, or leap right into the sticky stuff? In the second episode in our Eavesdropping series — unplanned, no-holds-barred conversations, beginning with a guest’s question for Karen — Brandon Hunter-Haydon asks, “What does it mean to choose pain over suffering?” In this episode: Brandon Hunter-Haydon - Intimacy coach & therapist More on the Wheel of...

What exactly does a surrogate partner do? In a continuing exploration of sex work today, we hear from two professional surrogates about the intimate work of redressing trauma, dismantling unhealthy assumptions about sex, and helping clients move toward the relationships they want. In this episode: River Roaring - Surrogate partner, private coach & workshop facilitator Brian Gibney - Surrogate...

Is it time to exit an LTR that’s not working? How will you know? Panelists answer a listener question on getting out (or not), plus Karen’s Sermon on what keeps us stuck in situations we don’t want.  In this episode: Heather Shannon - Sex therapist Matthew Amador - Psychotherapist for love, sex and gender rebels  Mksthingshappin - Kink & relationship coach  Karen’s Steve Gadd YouTube rabbit ho...

What is sex work? Who is doing it? Two therapists who focus on sex worker support discuss stigma, community, the “whorearchy,” and the ways legal structures like SESTA-FOSTA harm sex workers while claiming to help society. Are you a sex worker? Do you want to join the sex worker support group? The Sex Worker Support Group is an affirming support group for individuals 18+ who identify currently or...

Has your identity shifted? Do you want to… tell anyone about it? Panelists answer a listener question on the value and meaning of coming out as queer (or as anything!). In this episode: Matthew Amador - Psychotherapist for love, sex, & gender rebels Elmo Painter - Somatic psychotherapist Brandon Hunter-Haydon - Psychotherapist and intimacy coach Join The Afterglow for more Wild & Sublime g...

Panelists answer listener questions about polyamorous relationships: Living together during COVID (then not), solo poly dating, and rules vs. boundaries with partners.  In this episode: Erica Washington - Clinical and Holistic Mental Health Therapist Peter Navarro - Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor & Dance/Movement Therapist Jason Best - Sex positive therapist & founder of Best The...

Panelists respond to a nervous listener whose partner wants to be dominated in bed. In this episode: Goddess Erica - Sexual empowerment coach Ren Grabert - Sex educator Brandon Hunter-Haydon - Psychotherapist & intimacy coach A worksheet to talk to partners about sex - Autostraddle Make Love Not Porn Buy Midori’s “Wild Side of Sex” on our Bookshop page Buy BDSM education book “Screw the Roses,...

“Do I enjoy sex with friends, and risk losing the friendship? Or do I find strangers, and keep my friends separate?” Panelists weigh in on mixing sex into established platonic relationships, and a storyteller remembers the terror and thrill of going topless onstage. In this episode: Matthew Amador - Psychotherapist for love, sex & gender rebels Brandon Hunter-Haydon - Psychotherapist & int...

Karen interviews sex writer JoEllen Notte on sex and depression: how to talk to your doc about sexual side effects of antidepressants, ways to approach a partner experiencing depression, and new approaches to sexuality. In this episode: Sex & Depression - JoEllen Notte’s writings Buy The Monster Under the Bed Books mentioned on the podcast Support sex-positive podcasting: Join The Afterglow !...

Sex + art! Throughout history the two have gone together. We look at Miami’s Wilzig Erotic Art Museum, a major collection of sex art and artifacts, and talk to its director of education about the museum’s vibrant presence in the South Beach community. In this episode: Naomi Wilzig Erotic Art Museum Leather Archives & Museum Hamburg’s Erotic Art Museum Kinsey Institute George Daniell Museum Sup...

Many people are radically re-examining their relationship values — both in dating and with long-term partners — after a year and a half of pandemic living. Panelists discuss newfound pickiness on dating apps, being honest with yourself, and finding your center in a time of crisis. In this episode: Tazima Parris - Sex coach & pleasure mentor Brandon Hunter-Haydon - Psychotherapist & intimac...

"My partner is a flirt. He says this is who he is..." Panelists answer a frustrated listener’s question on different social styles within a couple. Plus, the sticky wicket of starting a nonmonogamy convo in an established relationship. In this episode: Tazima Parris - Sex & intimacy coach Diane Long - Body worker & empowerment self defense teacher Mark Vaughan - Certified sex the...

Crystal meth and other “party and play” drugs have dug deep roots into gay sex and beyond. Two guests discuss party culture, addiction, harm reduction, and rediscovering your sexuality in recovery. In this episode: The Tweakers Project on Facebook 12-step programs have helped some people with addictions. If you think you have a  meth problem, Crystal Meth Anonymous could be beneficial. Know someon...

“We like to call it the hot sauce of kink.” Lois Lane shares about the versatile practice of erotic hypnosis, and how it can add spice to sex and relationships from D/s to vanilla (and everything in between). In this episode: “Mind Play: A Guide to Erotic Hypnosis” on Bookshop Want to learn more on erotic hypnosis? Check out our Sexual Resources page! Matt Griffo - Comedian-musican  Butt stuff? Ye...

Group sex: Is it all it’s cracked up to be? Panelists answer a listener question on planning or attending a group-sex event for the first time.  In this episode: Peter aka MksThingsHappin - kink and relationship coach  Aiden Nicholson - Queer midwife and OBGYN advanced practice nurse Tom Pardoe - Sober leather daddy, titleholder & certified massage therapist Butt stuff? Yes, please! Join The A...

We tackle a listener question about how to make a sex fantasy reality. Our sexpert panel give you important things to consider and how to overcome shame in order to have the sex you want. In this episode: Matthew Amador - Psychotherapist for love, sex & gender rebels Elmo Painter - Somatic psychotherapist  Brandon Hunter-Haydon - Psychotherapist & intimacy coach  Full episode transcript av...

One woman’s story of moving from a “don’t talk about sex” childhood into a sexually unsatisfied early adulthood and finally discovering Tantra, energy work, and her own sexual desire and power. In this episode: Urban Tantra on Bookshop Full episode transcript available on our website!  Work with host Karen Yates in Zoom groups and one-on-one as she uses the energy of sound to reduce stress and hel...

 A summertime sex-story special from the archives! Two storytellers share experiences of erotic experimentation, plus a comedic song about a hookup in Winnetka. In this episode: Archy Arch J - Storyteller & curator of OUTspoken Jessy Lauren Smith - Writer & storyteller Amy Do - Comedian & musician Full episode transcript available on our website!  Work with host Karen Yates in Zoom gro...

Nervous about trying something new? Panelists discuss communicating with partners around trying new things, and answer audience questions on vulnerability, asking for what you want, and exploring turn-ons — with partners and by yourself. In this episode: Jo Flannery - Clinical sexologist MksThingsHappin - Kink & relationship coach S1E4: Four Steps to Ask for What You Want in Bed Full episode t...

"When we get into an argument, my partner won't talk to me for hours or even the whole day. What do I do?" Panelists discuss "stonewalling" — when one partner checks out during intense moments and refuses to talk things through — and what you can do if it's happening in your relationship. In this episode: Jason Best - Sex-positive & kink-aware therapist Tazima Par...

Author Kate Davies talks about “In at the Deep End,” her novel about a woman’s pivot from hetero monogamy to a queer relationship, and the resulting deep-dive into London’s kink and poly scenes. This wry, insightful, and sexy story is sure to liven up your summer reading list.  In this episode: Author Kate Davies In at the Deep End on Bookshop Sex-positive resource list Episode transcript availabl...

How far would you go to feel better? Karen interviews Christie Tate, author of the bestselling memoir Group — one of Amazon's top titles for 2020 and a selection for Reese Witherspoon’s  book club — on her quest for intimacy through an unconventional process of radical transparency. In this episode: Christie Tate “Group” on Bookshop Work with host Karen Yates in Zoom groups and one-on-one as...

Author/illustrator Sophie Lucido Johnson talks about her polyamory memoir “Many Love” and about her journey in expanding definitions of love, reframing jealousy, and taking pleasure in seeing partners happy with other people. In this episode: Sophie Lucido Johnson Many Love on Bookshop Episode transcript available on our website! Work with host Karen Yates in Zoom groups and one-on-one as she uses...

“How would you like me to touch you?” Has anyone ever asked you that? Sex coach, former sex worker, and Wheel of Consent creator Betty Martin talks to Karen about her new book, 40 years of touching people, and how to practice giving and receiving pleasure. In this episode: Wheel of Consent video library Read a chapter of Betty’s new book Buy it on Bookshop Work with host Karen Yates in Zoom groups...