While We're Waiting® - Hope After Child Loss

The timing of all these wonderful early birthday gifts couldn't have been better, because the day we had been dreading for so long was suddenly upon us.  After all the extended family headed home for the weekend, Hannah reached up to take out her ponytail holder ... and nearly all of her hair came out with it. Thank you for joining me for another bonus episode of the While We're Waiting...

As Hannah's 17th birthday rapidly approached, I was struggling a little bit with how we were going to celebrate this event with her prognosis dangling over our heads.  How could we possibly wring any joy out of this birthday, which, without a miracle, would almost certainly be her last? Thankfully, our amazing family and friends made made the days leading up to her birthday so special ... not...

In our last episode, Donna Evans shared the challenges and joys of raising her special-needs son James Bruce to adulthood, and the deep grief she experienced when he unexpectedly went to Heaven in February of 2022.  Today we have a great conversation about the sovereignty of God in the midst of our broken pieces and the ministry He has given her because of her role as mom to James Bruce.  I’m glad...

During the year Hannah was battling cancer we received many wonderful gifts.  People were so incredibly kind.  After the recurrence of her cancer, hot meals were brought to our home nearly every day by people in our little community and from our church and that was such a blessing.  I had little opportunity to go to the grocery store during those days, much less cook!  One kind friend gave us a gi...

Sixteen years ago we spent the weekend at the Sullivan family farm and gathering place in the tiny town of Briggsville, Arkansas.  While we were there, my sister-in-law pulled out her camera and we did a family photo shoot.  Hannah's hair was really starting to let loose and we wanted to get some pictures of our family before it fell out completely. Posing for those pictures that day was surr...

Donna Evans is a wife, mother, and grandmother, author, and conference speaker.  Her life was enriched by raising her son James Bruce to adulthood, and she has much to share about both the challenges and blessings of parenting a child with special needs.  When James Bruce was five years old, her husband challenged her to stop praying that God would make him “normal” and start praying for God to us...

Hannah's facebook status from sixteen years ago today was, "Hannah is having better days ... getting ready to leave for radiation."  And they truly were better days.  At this point, she was sailing through the radiation treatments with relatively few side effects.  She was thrilled to be well enough to attend a high school football game that weekend and spend some time with her frie...

After the cancer recurrence, Hannah and I spent most of our time together just the two of us.  Brad was at work, Bethany was at school, and she and I were either at home, at CARTI, at Children's Hospital, or somewhere on the highway in between those places.  And somehow, even with a glioblastoma diagnosis hanging over our heads, we enjoyed that time together.  I am so thankful for those days....

Since the recurrence of Hannah's cancer, she had not returned to school, and I had not returned to work.  We pretty much stayed holed up in our house, only venturing out for doctors' appointments and radiation treatments.  And she and I were fine with that, honestly ... as homebodies we both enjoyed that time together at home. Eventually you have to come out, though, and about a week aft...

Billy and Julie Melton's adult daughter Juliana went to Heaven in 2018 after a courageous battle with brain cancer.  Today we discuss a wide range of topics, including the holidays, the marriage relationship after child loss, their favorite books, God’s purposes in suffering, and the ministry they started to support grieving parents in their area of North Carolina.  We jump into our conversat...

Hannah had been so relieved when her oncologist told her that her new chemotherapy drug shouldn't cause hair loss.  But when her new radiology oncologist told me that, without a doubt, the radiation would cause her to lose all of her hair, I was heartbroken for her.  Thankfully, she accepted the news in typical Hannah fashion.   Thank you for joining me for another bonus episode of the While...

It was a bit surreal to find ourselves returning to CARTI just five months after Hannah's initial round of radiation treatments were completed, preparing to start all over again.  While I was sitting with Hannah as they created a new mask for her, Brad talked privately with her radiation oncologist.  The doctor explained to him that we should not view these new radiation treatments as a poten...

The day we returned to Arkansas Children's Hospital to have the sutures removed after Hannah's brain surgery in February 2008, we were told that her tumor was a Grade IV Glioblastoma Multiforme. My brain immediately started whirring; mentally spelling out g-l-i-o-b-l-a-s-t-o-m-a, fully intending to google it the second we got home. Then the doctor's voice brought me back to that lit...

Sixteen years ago today, our family headed to Arkansas Children's Hospital with a suitcase in tow, having no clear idea what was in store for us.  We knew we would be meeting with Hannah's oncologist that morning to discuss the MRI results and find out what our plan was now that her cancer had returned.  We had been told to come prepared to spend at least one night, maybe more, so a new...

Juliana Melton Lagesse was a redhead with a contagious laugh and a zest for life who never met a stranger. She had a passion for ministry and for worship, and was a newlywed when she was diagnosed with terminal brain cancer.  Her mom and dad, Billy and Julie Melton, join me today to share her story, which is similar to my own in so many ways.  Then I hope you'll come back next week, when we b...

Sixteen years ago today, I called our oncology nurse at Children's at 8:00 am and asked her if the scan results were in yet. Of course, they weren't. I explained to her how what had started as a simple brain scan had turned into a lengthy brain and spine scan and she was surprised to hear that. She assured me that as soon as she received the results, she would call me. I waited around th...

As the calendar turned to September, I began to detect almost imperceptible signs that something was not quite right with Hannah. I can't even explain what I was seeing ... I really don't even know what it was specifically.  But I remember crying to Brad one night (actually several nights) that I felt like she was leaving us, bit by tiny bit. Then, as September neared its end, Hannah beg...

I'm not normally a crier...I hate to cry in front of people, even my own family members. I don't even cry very often when I'm alone. But there are times when the tears get started and they just won't stop. Sixteen years ago today was one of those days.  I had an appointment to get a haircut that day, and I almost canceled it because Hannah was still so sick.  But I decided to g...

It never fails.  Shortly after school starts back every fall, there's a bout of stomach virus that goes around.  With kids once again in close proximity to one another in crowded classrooms, the dreaded bug seems to spread like wildfire.  Few are spared its ugly effects. In the fall of 2008, the stomach bug made its way to our home, and Hannah was its first victim.  At least we thought it was...

Molly Huffman's son Tage was diagnosed with a terminal genetic disease shortly after his birth in 2014, and he went to Heaven at the age of 8 months old, leaving her deep in sorrow.  Today's episode features Molly's presentation at last year’s Our Hearts Are Home conference and in this session, she walks us through her favorite biblical passage related to grief.  By the end of her p...

Sixteen years ago today, Hannah turned in a rough draft of an essay to her second period English teacher.  The students had been assigned the task of writing about an experience that impacted their life. Today's episode is Hannah's story in her own words. Thank you for joining me for another bonus episode of the While We're Waiting podcast in this year-long series in which I share o...

We arrived home from the American Idol concert experience on Sunday evening.  The remnants of Hurricane Ike had blown themselves out and so had the storm in my mind ... at least somewhat.  Monday brought our regular clinic visit for blood work and some much-needed reassurance that things were going well. My email from sixteen years ago today reveals no trace of the disquiet simmering just beneath...

Sixteen years ago today, my girls and I continued our tradition of attending American Idol concerts together.  Hannah was so excited to go, and couldn't wait to cheer on David Cook, her favorite singer that year.  But the onset of fatigue and dizziness caused us to leave the concert early that evening.  As I drove home through the stormy weather that night, a storm began to build inside of me...

Today's episode is a continuation of my conversation with Pat Elsberry. Last week Pat introduced us to her daughter Melanie, and talked about the day she received a phone call from a police detective informing her that Melanie had been found dead in a hotel room from an accidental drug overdose.  Today we discuss the brokenness she experienced in the days that followed and how she has found h...

At this point, Hannah was pretty much sailing through her treatments ... in fact, those were her oncologist's exact words!  Other than the fact that her hair was still a little thin in spots due to the radiation treatments, nobody would have guessed that she was battling brain cancer.  We were feeling really good about where we were at this point in the process.  I'm so thankful we weren...