While We're Still Here

He's not nuts. He misses his daughter. Listen to how he feels connected to her.  Send a text Listen and read my blog: https://whilewerestillhere.com Reach me at kathy@whilewerestillhere.com Facebook: While We're Still Here Starting with Episode 56, the episode music was added. It was composed, produced and provided by Kyle Bray specifically for this show. Reach out to me if you want the...

That elephant I mentioned a few weeks ago? Not only is it in the room: it is roaring! What is forgiveness? Does forgiveness mean that I have to trust the person who violated me? What is my role in forgiveness? What will it get me?  You may not want to relive pain in order to forgive. I get it. Forgiveness may be just the thing that sets you free. Free from bitterness, resentment, etc. It does not...

VSED, or voluntary stopping of eating and drinking, is legal in all 50 states. It is not considered suicide. Why do people choose this option, and how can this manner of dying be more comfortable and peaceful? Suzanne O'Brien, RN, has thoughts that I will share. Judith Schwarz, RN, Ph. D., also has shared her thoughts on VSED. I have my thoughts, too, and included them for you in this episode...

People wanting to die to end their suffering or 'to not be a burden' is not new to society. The options to hasten death, while controversial, are growing. States are hearing from groups and organizations as well as citizens who want the choice to end their life when they want to do so, not necessarily at their natural end of life. But, is this method actually 'natural'? The Fin...

Ruben and I have been friends for awhile. I knew his mother was ill and when she died I offered prayers of comfort for his loss. What I did not know was how his mother died. I was sorry I hadn't moved in closer to him at that time of his life. He talks about that time with me today, seeming to be in what I felt is a place of calm peace over the loss. That does not mean he is no longer grievin...

A big ol' elephant came into the room: I have avoided this issue because I didn't know how to address it, and I don't have all the answers for the dangerous or toxic relationships in our lives, or how or why we may want to pursue reconciliation. I can say I didn't pursue mending the dangerous relationships in my life. Listen how I got through some of the struggles around that....

In this episode we will hear from two physicians on each side of the Medical Aid in Dying option for those with terminal illness. Both have compelling arguments but agree that healthcare has changed, and determining when a person will die is not precise. The American Medical Association believes doctors should be 'life-savers', not 'life-takers'.   Take a listen or visit the fo...

C aution: The conversation about ending one's life continues. Please proceed carefully. Why do we want to learn about what other countries are legislating about medical aid in dying? Because their decisions may influence our policy makers and the individuals seeking this option to end their suffering. The notion that one can seek to end their life can seem really heavy--it IS really heavy, an...

Caution: We are diving deep into this topic of medical aid in dying. If you are considering suicide, not medical aid in dying to ease physical suffering, please call 988 to speak with someone. Listen to the excerpts from the American Public Health Association journal article entitled "Patients' Right to Self-Determination at the End of Life" in 2008. The Oregon Model was enacted fir...

Death with Dignity passed first in the state of Oregon. Ten states now have laws permitting medical aid in dying, or MAID. Several countries have also enacted policies for this.  This is a hotly debated and controversial topic. It is also a sensitive topic. Proceed with caution as you listen.  Send a text Listen and read my blog: https://whilewerestillhere.com Reach me at kathy@whilewerestillhere....

Whether your mother is alive or not, whether you have a good or poor or  no relationship with your mother, hopefully there is someone you can honor this Mother's Day.  Send a text Listen and read my blog: https://whilewerestillhere.com Reach me at kathy@whilewerestillhere.com Facebook: While We're Still Here Starting with Episode 56, the episode music was added. It was composed, produced...

You may know the Patient's Bill of Rights. The American Journal of Nursing from 1975 lists The Dying Person's Bill of Rights . I list them in this episode.  Death with Dignity is a law which several states have passed. This gives a terminally ill patient the opportunity to choose their time of death if they meet the criteria set forth by medical professionals and legal parameters. Stay t...

Seriously, how often do we consider this? How many times have we walked out the door without a thought of whether we actually would return? How many times have you watched someone you love go out for their day and wondered if that was the last time you would see them? My guess is 'not many'. Tear Alert Just so you know.... Send a text Listen and read my blog: https://whilewerestillhere.c...

It's dying that scares me--a bit. The death itself, as I am learning, is rather peaceful as the body dies. My fear comes from not knowing how I will die, who will be around me, and whether I will have said all I want to say to those I care about most. There is a game out there to help ease my fears, and yours as well. Coda Alliance, a nonprofit whose motto is "Empowering easier, early, e...

Get information on advanced planning, advanced directive, caregiver support and education, and so much more from Doulagivers.com Free Resource Center for Family Caregivers.  Suzanne O'Brien, RN, founded Doulagivers and has educated hundreds of Death Doulas.  She recently announced that she will be holding a 90-minute training workshop for family caregivers. doulagivers.com Send a text Listen...

I was young when Jimmy Carter was President of the United States. I have seen news pieces over the years since his presidency about the work he continued to do around the world for peace and medical advances and much more. He was not a strong presence in my life but he is now, as he has chosen to come into Hospice care as his end of life approaches. He actually, for me, became a spokesman for Hosp...

Jared describes his work as a police chaplain on scene, side-by-side with cops, tending to the dead and the families left behind. Cops aren’t necessarily warm and fuzzy. What they see is tough stuff, no doubt.  Television and movies do not show us the reality of finding a body on scene. There is respect for the body while investigation is underway to when the body is transported away from the scen...

The 11th Hour is a time in a person’s life when death is imminent. The body dies when it is ready, and there is labor and work to prepare for the end of life. The changes the body goes through as it prepares to die can take weeks, days, hours, or minutes.  Sometimes people can control their end of life: waiting for that phone call, that visit, or to say words that have been too long in saying. Eve...

Have you sat vigil? If so, then you know the melancholy feelings, the sadness, and the joys and laughter of a happier time. I'm feeling melancholy today as I near my birthday and I reflect back as well as look forward to how years were spent compared to how I want my remaining years to be in the future. As long as we live, we get to think about how we will be different from this day forward,...

When a loved one dies, or when you die, did you know there will be at least 79  tasks related to the death that will need completion? I don't know about you, but when I am under stress or anxiety, I can feel frozen, not able to think as clearly or move as quickly than is typical for me.  Don't you love it when someone makes your life a bit easier? Mueller's Funeral Home sent me an u...

Sometimes games can elicit emotions that are difficult to explain or recognize. Men play sports like golf or jog together, side by side, and can share deeply their thoughts and dreams, etc. Women have heart-to-heart conversations usually facing one another. A game can be a safe distraction for folks, and when the talk is around end of life, a game that aids the conversation of dying and death is c...

Difficult conversations usually can be softened over a meal, by soft lighting, comfy seats, and a nice meal. deathoverdinner.org  figured this would be a great way to have this sometimes tough conversation. I explain the history of Death Over Dinner and walk you through how to plan your own Dinner.  Send a text Listen and read my blog: https://whilewerestillhere.com Reach me at kathy@whilewerestil...

According to Barbara Karnes, RN, the dying are working as they prepare to leave this world. Take a listen as I try to capture a bit of the wisdom Barbara shared with Karen Wyatt, M.D. on the End of Life University podcast. Send a text Listen and read my blog: https://whilewerestillhere.com Reach me at kathy@whilewerestillhere.com Facebook: While We're Still Here Starting with Episode 56, the...

Want a method to help you lean into conversations about dying and death? One way is to use the resources found through The Conversation Project.  theconversationproject.org offers a guide to start thinking about your own end of life wishes and offers a starter kit to prepare yourself to begin the conversation. Use it for yourself. Give it to someone you love. We will go through the Starter Guide t...

https://lastactsoflove.com -No One Should Die Alone https://NOSDA.com -Compassion and Choices  https://www.compassionandchoices.org/ https://mydirectives.com Extremis movie Book: A Year to Live: How to Live This Year as If It Were Your Last by Stephen Levine Send a text Listen and read my blog: https://whilewerestillhere.com Reach me at kathy@whilewerestillhere.com Facebook: While We're Still...