Where's the Lemonade?

Christmas Card 2013   Treat each kid uniquely Lunches. Darren made everyone the same thing. Paige asked the kids what they liked. You need to find out what they like and don't like. Sometimes a mall food court is the best option to take the family out. Give kids the opportunity to choose dinner. Discipline is different for each kid.  The rules are the same but our reaction and discipline are diffe...

Your history has a profound effect on who you are. When you are in a second marriage that includes your relationship with your previous spouse. Sometimes learning about your spouse's previous relationships can be difficult, but we have found over the years that it has given us a better understanding of each other, where we have come from and what has shaped and molded each of us. Why your previous...

Every marriage includes different times when you have to compromise. In a blended family, there are even more opportunities to practice your compromising skills. In this episode, we explore different kinds of compromise and how best to work through the hard decisions you have to make. Blended Family Compromises Small things Whose pots and pans to keep Storage Bins Socks in the sock basket Soda at...

In this episode, we talked to our older kids, the kids that were out of the house or teenagers when we got married. We asked them some hard questions about blending families, bonding with a step parent and fitting into this new family. We had our eyes opened as our kids did not hold back in their answers. We learned some new things, laughed and cried. Why was it so hard for the kids Your older kid...

Family Heritage Roadtrips help give your kids a sense of belonging and roots. With a blended family, it can be tricky if you don't plan things out carefully. This episode is a travel episode of our Heritage road, find out what worked well for us and did not. Why a heritage road trip? It gives the kids a sense of roots and belonging  How do you handle a heritage road trip when one family is from on...

Darren & Paige at a Pink Concert We thought the topic of depression and anxiety was important to cover because Paige suffers from clinical depression and Darren has suffered from situational depression in the past. In this episode, we talk about tools to help your spouse through their depression, how to identify the difference between the situational and clinical depression, and how to decreas...

Transparency in marriage is a hot topic in social media right now. The constant pull between personal privacy and sharing everything with your spouse has several couples at odds and is lighting up the blended family social groups. In this episode, we discuss how we tackle this hard issue. Start with a mutual understanding Both Paige and I had trust issues because of our previous relationships. Com...

The Three Amigos - 2012 It can be really difficult blending families, imagine what is like to blend with 10 siblings. Blending includes not just your kids it includes your siblings and parents as well. In this episode, we look at the pitfalls and the success of joining a big family that already has a history with your spouse's former spouse. Joining the extended family Being accepted in the family...

Engagement Picture Love does not conquer all For those of you that think everything has been rosy. It has not. This has brought up some tension and memories of the hard times. Sacramento Airport. We were naive enough that we thought love would be able to handle all of the problems we faced. That helped but was not enough. Everything was hard. Meshing kids. We had two 16-year-olds that were complet...

This episode is about surviving and maybe even enjoying, road trips with your family.  They can really be a time of bonding (or total stress!) with some preparation. Food, audible, games and electronics can get you through it!!  Road trips can build memories: We just got back from a quick trip to visit our new Grand-baby Zoey Anne. We left on Thursday night and came home on Sunday. So we were in t...

How do you extend your blending family through the generations? Our parents showed us through their example of accepting and bringing our blended family directly into our family. We have learned as we are starting to add grandchildren that who they biologically belong to really does not matter. In this episode, we talk about how to make the blending extended beyond just our family. We have found t...

Too many Christmas Presents Why Traditions are important They give us a foundation to build our lives on They give us a sense of roots and belonging We asked the kids what they thought The Younger kids had a different perspective than the older kids  They can only remember the traditions that we currently have They have some that are doubled up Older kids remember Some of the traditions when we we...

Anton Valley Panama Why we go on trips? Your life does not start alone, you are dropped off in the middle of a bunch of stuff! There is no beginning with just the two of you. Important to disconnect from everyone and everything. Second Marriages don’t have a real honeymoon time.  Things we have learned about spending time together alone. Understanding what helps the other person relax (Paige read...

Brief history Both found ourselves divorced after over 20 years. We met online. Paige was the first girl to flirt with Darren online. It was hard to go on a date for the first time after 20 years. Did not want to introduce dates to kids until this was more serious. Lives are thrown together, no way to prepare. 6 (Darren’s) + 4 (Paige’s) = 10 Kids When we first got married we had 7 kids at home wit...